I understand there are rules in place. I understand there are reasons for this. There are laws in our society and laws of nature. There are laws set upon us by government and other personal laws, which we follow because we are taught them. I know that laws are put into pace to prevent chaos and mayhem.
Every so often, I think it is necessary to have the letter of the law rest for a moment. This is not to live lawless or to be defiant of the rules in place, but more, every so often the spirit should be allowed a moment of reprieve. Every so often, the soul needs a chance to scream and shout and run and play, like children do . . . remember?
Every so often, I believe the boys need to howl. I think every so often, we need a time to laugh about nonsense and say what we really think or feel.
This is not to defy the laws in place nor is it to disregard or disrespect the authority of others. No, this is just an expression. This is just a matter of letting off steam.
Sometimes, we forget about our own humanity. We forget we are human. We become locked in the robotic life and the routine of rules and regulations and policy and protocol. Our days become auto-pilot because everything we do has to be held within standard margin.
I believe in the soul’s need to be free.
I believe that in whichever way it chooses, the soul needs its time to scream and rant and cheer and play like we did back when we were children
A few years back, I went to offer cheer to a young girl undergoing chemotherapy. She was in a small room at Memorial Sloan Kettering. We laughed for a bit. Her mother and father laughed for a while.
Then I went out into the hallways to see all of these beautiful children, bald as ever, but beautiful as can be.
Some of the kids were playing in a big playroom. Some were playing board games outside the playroom. Some were playing dress-up with the costumes. Sadly, some of the kids were too sick to play. Others, it was clear that all they wanted to do is run and play and cheer and scream like we did when we were children
I was supposed to get in the elevator. I was supposed to leave and keep my schedule. But every so often, the soul’s need to live and see life and the soul’s need to fight back, to scream out, to give, to love, to show without any question that life is the most truly precious item we own is a need that has to be set free..
Instead of making my schedule and heading back to my routine, I ran and I played and I jumped and I screamed and I laughed.
Oh Dear God, I laughed.
I defied the rule of sickness, which dictates a sad mournfulness. And I ran and I played, I got down on the floor and I saw the glory of children, laughing and playing, even the sick ones, even the ones without previous grins; I saw them smile too.
When I tell you I screamed, I screamed. When tell you I acted out and defied the rules, I acted out and defied the rules of tragedy. I gave every ounce I had and every second of this was worth it to me.
I said my goodbyes. I thanked the nurses for permitting me to be a child again. And God bless them; bless every one of them. Bless every soul there. Bless them, the nurses and doctors, the parents and family. Bless them all because on this day, together, we beat cancer!
Afterwards, I found myself heading towards the elevator with one of the nurses. We talked briefly. Her smile was nothing short of angelic and her spirit was certainly heaven sent. As soon as the door to the elevator shut, I cried as hard as I played.
I say it was worth it.
I say it was worth every tear because every so often, the soul needs to act out and play and run and scream like we did when we were children