The Rebirth of Sanity – Phase One: Let You Be You

Safe to say that our mind has a way of reeling back to a time when we heard something, only it seems we never listened until later in life.
It seems that we might have heard something, but we never listened until we replayed the lesson back in our mind.
Or, maybe like in our last post; maybe this comes when we reach a turning point or when we’re ready to reach the starting point.

However, in our attempts to redefine ourselves and in the rebirth of sanity and to the moment at hand, when we choose to live our lives in an order that we deserve, we come to a level of awareness that gives way to a level of open-mindedness.
This is when we start to experience our moments of clarity.

This is when our eyes begin to see and we notice the items of our life which we previously overlooked; more, this is when we experience a sense of clarity. 
For example, I am small.
And this is good. Small is perfect for me.
I want to be small because, to me, being small leads to being bigger. This means that I have the right and the capacity to grow.
This allows me the room to understand my place in life. And yes, being smaller allows me to grow into the understanding that I am no more or worse, nor am I better or more deserving than anyone else.
Like the rest of the world, sometimes, I have to wait my turn. I have to wait on lines. I have to sit still and be patient.
I am not above or below anyone else; therefore, I should never put anyone on a pedestal nor should I place myself there because now that I understand my true size, I also understand that we all deserve a moment in the spotlight. We all deserve a celebration.
We all need a spot in the sun. We all need a moment where the lights are bright and the applause is big, which is not because we are so huge but because in the smallness of our personal being, at last, all of our work has come to fruition.
All of our slips and falls, and each bad choice that we had to overcome or the so called “wrong turns” we made have come to a point where we understand that in spite of life’s roughness; our life is worth more than what we possibly imagined. 

There was a time when I was in the middle of too many things. Life was upside down and with no other way to say it, I had my bouts with impending doom and, for the time, there were too many things that were nipping at my heels.
I couldn’t get away from myself no matter how I tried.
I’d run but no matter where I went –
There I was . . .

I remember someone telling me, “Don’t be afraid.”
They explained: “This is just life letting you know that you’re still alive. And any minute, you can pull this off and change the show.”

Now, of course, I might be paraphrasing this,
or maybe not. Maybe this is just an old memory of a time when I was young and seemingly at the end of my rope.
However, someone cared enough to let me know that I am fully equipped with everything I need to overcome and succeed.
They were kind enough to come along and let me know, “It’s go time, kid.”
You can’t lay down.
You can’t give in.
You can’t quit.

I needed to hear this then.
And yes, there are times when I need to hear this now.
It’s go time.
We can’t lay down.
We can’t give in.
We can’t quit. 

Should we have to face something or someone bigger than we are and if we have to face up to this alone (so-to-speak), then I am reminded that this is just life letting me know I’m alive.
And that yes, it’s better to stand up, even if the odds are against me or the outcome seems unwinnable.
It’s better to stand straight than fold and risk the chance to never stand tall again.

(Sleep well, old friend ~ Wherever you are)

Thinking back, I can remember when The Old Man used to tell me, “If you sleep with dogs, you wake up with fleas.” He would say, “Show me who your friends are and I will show you who you are and how you feel about yourself.”
Then The Old Man would tell me, “Watch the company you keep, kid. People can be pretty damned contagious!”

The Old Man was right.
People are contagious.
So, choose wisely.

I remember when I walked into a new way of living. I was “cleaning up” and shaking some of my demons.
I was much younger then. I was resistant too.
Angry. Hateful.
You name it and that was me.

An old-timer put his hand on my shoulder. After patting me on the back, the old-timer said, “Stick with the winners, kid.”
He told me, “Stay away from the ones that’ll bring you down.“
“You’ll drown before you know it.”

I was in a room with several lines of chairs. At the front, there was a table. There was some literature on the table and some slogans that were hung on the walls.
There were steps to live by.
There were 12 of them, to be exact, and in fairness, I really did not want to be there.
The old-timer let out an exhale as he directed me to one of the chairs up in front.
He told me, “It’s easy to sink, so remember to hold onto people that’ll bring you up.”

Once more, the old timer was right.
People are contagious.
So, choose wisely.

Who we speak with and who we surround ourselves with has a direct effect on whether we succeed and improve or sink or fail or quit before we begin.
Who we include ourselves with and who we invest our time with has an impact on whether we decide to face the world or this can impact whether we get up at all or instead, we lay down and become stagnant 

Stagnant . . .
What kind of life is that?

At a turning point in my life, my family was either distant or gone. My so-called friends were not as friendly. I was more alone than I had ever experienced and the circles of people who I found myself in were no longer fitting or acceptable.
I came to the realization that, yes, people are in fact contagious.
So, I had to make better choices and choose wisely.
In my realization, I learned it would be best for me to sever ties with those who imposed, infected or poisoned my best interest.

Rather than sit with those who argued or bitched and complained; and instead of people who talked about others and their problems, and lastly, rather than complain about the problems at hand, I recognized the benefit of people who talk about solutions.
I realized the benefit of people who talk about ways to include the world instead of oppose it.
I saw the benefit of interacting with people who inspire me to live over those who inspire me to argue. As for those who inspired me to riot, I still see value in them.
I see the good reasons to fight. And yes, there are good reasons to riot.
I am thankful for those who taught me this because these were people who taught me how to stand up and face the time. They showed me how to stand tall, no matter what, and no matter what happens; never bend at the risk of never being able to stand straight again.

If people are contagious, then I say let me choose the things I will catch.
Let me stand with people who talk about ways to create and build. Let me be around those who explore peace.
Let me talk to people who are comfortable with sharing their love and kindness.
I say let me learn from good people. Let me be more like them.
Let me see what the world has to offer with new eyes that can see because of new people who inspired me.
Let me be around those who keep an open mind instead of those who tell me a thousand reasons why “I can’t win” or why, “I’ll never make it.”

One of my oldest friends once told me about his youngest son.
We never speak anymore. But this has nothing to do with us.
No, this is just how life goes.

Either way, his boy was born with Down’s Syndrome.
My friend admitted the news was hard to learn. He was devastated.
Having told me this, a proud smile came upon his face as he explained, “I’ll tell you this much, my son is the son I never knew I wanted.”
What an amazing thing to say.
I saw his face beam with pride.
I listened to him speak about his boy with such love and such pride.

If people are contagious, then let me be more like my friend.
Let me be just like him.
Let me be a dad the way he’s a dad. Let me work through my misconceptions and misunderstandings. Let me get beyond my shortsightedness.
Let me be like this man and take life by the balls. Let me be half the man my friend is and I will call myself a successful man.

Life is contagious.
And people?
They amaze me.

I watched a woman wheel her daughter on the beach. I say wheel because her daughter was in a wheelchair. If this was not enough, her daughter is also deaf and blind. The mother was not bitter or sad. She was not short-tempered with the nearby strangers that were loud and sat nearby.
Though deaf, the mother was not silent to her child. Instead she spoke lovingly. She spoke the same way any mother would speak to her child.
She was no less affectionate than any mother and she was unconcerned with those who passed and stared.
She never took the time to notice those who walked by and gasped when seeing the obvious differences in the young girl.

I don’t know what that young girl thought.
But I do know she felt loved.
Amazing.

If people are contagious, then let me catch what this woman has.
If there is a God, then please, let me be like this woman. Let me be like her.
Please.
Let me catch what she has because of anything I’ve seen in my life, I have never seen anyone quite as strong or as loving as this woman. 

I have met with old friends who used to go to the gym. They could lift anything.
It’s just weights to them.
They have muscles. They have strength. They could bench press more than I could possibly imagine. Yet, as strong as they were, none of them could lift the spirits like a mother who loves their child.

I remember an old friend won a cash raffle at a charity auction.
It was a good win too.
Then he walked over to return his winnings to the charity itself.
I saw this and thought to myself
“Good for you.”
Let me be like that.

I remember a young girl named Olivia. I watched her smile even in the face of stage four cancer. When asked how she felt, Olivia would smile and say, “Liv is good.”
She was only 13 years old at the time.
She’s in college now and beautiful as ever.

I have met people who will give purely just to be helpful. But more, they will give anonymously because they understand that goodness and charity is not about being acknowledged.
This has nothing to do with ego.

I met a mother who openly talked about her son.
I listened . . .
She wept because of the helpless feelings that come when you can’t control the outcomes of someone you love.

Let me be like these people.
Let me be like you because since you have been with me (especially this far) I say then let me be like you because the one thing I know, the most loving donation you can ever offer someone is your time.
I say this because money might come and go, but once a second is gone, it’s gone forever without ever having the possibility of return. 

Let me be like the ones who give and help.
Let me be like them because they help those who are sinking, realize their worth, and then teach them how to stay afloat. 

These are the people for me.
If they are contagious, then let me catch what they have so I can infect someone else with a kindness like theirs. Let me be like this so I can pass this along and “pay it forward.”

The Old Man was right and so was the old-timer from my first 12-step meeting. It is easy to sink in this world, which is why we should surround ourselves with people that bring us up.
By the way, this is why I look to you.
This is why I hold on to my love because my hate has sunk me down to the depths of the worst places. 
I have seen true loneliness before. It was hateful and dark, cold and bitter.

If I want to create a good life and be “sane” then let me make the choices that support my best route to sanity.
Also –
The absolute truth is you never know what goes on in the mind of someone else.
You never know what’s happening in the background.
You don’t know what weight feels like on someone else’s shoulders.
No matter how “strong” someone appears, you don’t know how weak they feel inside.
Also, even if someone is smiling, deep down, no one knows if there’s a tragedy brewing.

It doesn’t matter how rich or how poor because wealthy or not, real life doesn’t care about money or fame or beauty or anything else. This is only something that we concern ourselves with. 

The truth is we are all deeper than flesh; so, don’t be surprised to find out that others are human
(just like we are).

We all have our own “Things.”
I know I have mine . . .

So please, and I’ll close with this –
be advised; the kindest thing you could ever give anyone is a moment of your time.
Especially, when they need it most and almost unexpectedly, you arrive without knowing. Somehow, fate puts you right there, exactly where they needed you to be.
Sometimes, unbeknownst to you, the kindness you showed is more life saving than you could possibly imagine.

You are living proof that this goes both ways.
There is no gift more valuable than this.

Please understand: time is unalterable.
You can’t get it back and you can’t change it once it happens.
But also, you can’t blame yourself for missed chances.
All you can do is alter your stride and change your steps to keep from missing a chance to live again.

Choose your surroundings and remember, if people are contagious, then so are you.
So, let you be you to the best of your ability.

Believe me . . .
You are more lifesaving than you think!