The worst feeling is the feeling of powerlessness. This is the hopeless feeling that comes over us when we see our friends and our loved ones undergo something traumatic.
The worst part is no matter how hard we try, the truth is there are no right words to say. There is nothing anyone can do that will change the facts or soften the blow of something painful. All we can do is allow our friends and loved one’s to have their right to feel.
Whenever the times were tough, Mom always made her famous mashed potatoes with chicken cutlets and brown gravy. The cutlets were breaded and fried. She used the best breadcrumbs and there have been others that made the same meal with the same ingredients but for whatever the reason, no cutlets were ever like Mom’s cutlets.
And what I am about to say might be against science and popular opinion, but hell with it. This needs to be said.
Ultimately, food is the best antidepressant ever. And this is not just any food. When I say food, I mean the meals we grew up with. I mean the food that for whatever the reason might be—the smell of the dish alone, mixed with the flavor; it somehow just took away the problems at hand.
I swear sometimes it seems like everything is uphill.
Nothing comes easy. And even the good ideas come with some problems, which makes it uncomfortable to get your hopes up.
But you do.
This still happens, inevitably, of course and you become cautiously optimistic until the flavor hits your tongue and then you can taste it —then you get your hopes up.
Only, you’re afraid, which makes it hard to dream because the dream itself is perfect. All dreams are perfect, else they would call them something else, like nightmares, for example.
Along the way, you certainly realize that life is a relative thing. Along the way, we learn as we go along. We grow and we live. We have different exposures and different experiences, and, as well, we have different viewpoints that come from our basic circle of influence. Not everything is the same to you and me, which is fine if you ask me. I think they call this diversity.
Everything we do or see throughout our life has had an impact on the way we think, the way we feel, and the way we act or respond.
There is an internal voice within us all, which we talk to and interact with. This is the internal narrative, which in many cases is the voice of something unresolved in our memory.
This is the whisper in our thoughts that creates doubt and concern. This is the idea that causes us to be overly cautious and overly protective of us to the point that we shut ourselves down or cut ourselves off from the chance of a new understanding.
Time teaches all lessons and none is more important than this; always match intensity. In the case of friendships, match intensity.
In the case of love and romance, match intensity. In the case of business or business partners and acquaintances with new ventures or meetings about new acquisitions, match intensity.
Always remain an equal partner to avoid the lopsided feeling of giving too much of yourself without an appropriate return.
Since everyone is still talking about the “New Year/New Me” ideas, I think it might be helpful to discuss a few tricks when it comes to a transformational change.
The truth of the matter is we cling to habits. At least, I do. The truth is most people have a usual routine.
Consider the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning. Some look at the clock. Some look at their phone. Either way, most people have their morning rituals and daily routines.