Before going forward with this explanation, I want to explain that the following is about me and the details of my thoughts and feelings and how they have interacted with my behavior throughout my life.
More than anything, I have always wanted to feel comfortable. I always wanted to feel the idea that if I fit or belonged and I have feel that idea that I was welcome. More than anything, I have always wanted to walk into a room and not feel as if I had to “Fake” something or “Force” something and Continue reading
Monthly Archives: April 2018
From Bedtime Stories for the Insomniac
They say man can be his own worst enemy. I suppose anyone can be their own worst enemy when given to the wrong persuasion. No matter how wealthy or poor; no matter how fortunate one could be in the gene pool of life and regardless to whether someone is born into the wealthiest of homes or in the poorest of families; people can be their own worst downfall.
And it isn’t easy to weave through life. Not at all. In fact, life is the toughest test of all. Think about it. Think back Continue reading
From In The Classroom: About Time
The following is a true lesson I learned and I sometimes forget it, which is why I needed to write this and rethink about my position as it stands now . . .
I once had a longhaired teacher with odd ideas about the world and deep views about music. He spoke often about guitarists, like Clapton, and talked about the meaning behind lyrics to songs like, “Almost Cut My Hair,” by Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
He was a teacher in name, yes, but he was also somewhat of a personal mentor that moved away from the norms of public school systems —and instead, he chose to teach the unteachable students like me that struggles with various social and chemical disorders.
After a short Continue reading
Injections (Revisited)
There I was, (figuratively speaking of course) and lost in an empty field with tall grass, bending, and swaying in the wind.
I was someplace else. I was in a long incredible dream, which I could somehow feel in my body. I felt myself drifting like a warm breeze, halfway in a nod, and slipping gently into this great new spiral I found near 134th street.
I was unaware and unconcerned with where I was or what I looked like. I wasn’t thinking about the Continue reading
The Best People in Life
I was on the bus with a set of earbuds in my ears and watching a film on my hand-held device. I heard a line in a show about someone being the best person ever. And I started to ask myself the question of who it would have been. Aside from The Old Man or the family heroes; who would I say was the best person I have ever met?
I can say that first and foremost, the list would only be so long, but it would be hardest to pick the absolute best. Of course, we all have our own flaws. We are all human and we all have our imperfections; however, I think the best people I have ever met were still perfect to me in spite of their own imperfections.
From In The Classroom: My Meltdown
The following is a short story about a brief period of life, which existed through the eyes and illustrated mind of a young man, high, in the figurative sense or perhaps this high was more literal in the metaphoric sense of being, “Under the influence,” as they say. The story you are about to read is all true —or at least it is as true as my recollection can portray after the incident.
I was somewhere around my second time in 9th grade. This was not my first adventure with Continue reading
About a Lesson
When you’re down at the bottom of your self-made hole and it feels like you’re flat on your back with no one around to help you up; there’s no place to turn and nowhere to run anymore because all of your old options either stopped working or the old remedies just keep you from feeling sick instead of feeling better —and when you are at the back-end of the outcomes and stuck in the wake of your aftermath and you find yourself wondering, “What the hell can I do now?” the only thing you can do is surrender to fact and accept your position. This doesn’t mean you’ve quit or that you give in. On the contrary, no, this just means you know who and where you are.
Way back when Mom was younger and Continue reading
From Junkie Stories: White Ship
White ship arrived in sudden waves that night
My body became like a channel
of fast moving water
flowing outward,
and emptying into a mouth of a much larger sea . . .
It was like riding on a perfect ferry during the sunrise:
Colors open the horizon
The body livens
And powdery grains switch into little submarines,
which surge throughout my bloodstream
The only problem with a trip like this
is the price I didn’t know I’d have to pay
. . . or the interest that came along with it~
I crossed an imaginary Continue reading
Book of Firsts: Recovery Specialist
It was an early morning and the sun was shining. After a few lefts and right turns as led by my G.P.S. I turned into the parking lot of the prosecutor’s office. This was to be my first true experience as a recovery specialist. I was unsure what to expect. I was frightened, nervous, and excited at the same time.
I was also early and arrived before any of my bosses. As promised, I gathered Continue reading
Understanding in Schools
Before going forward, it would helpful to remember your middle and high school days. Remember the lockers and the colors of the hallways. Think about the locations of the bathrooms and where the library was in relation to the gym. Remember the gathering places. Think about your experience and the divisions of popularity. Now, think about your circle of friends and where you sat in the cafeteria. Think about the people you sat with (or didn’t) and then think about the groups of people that always seemed to flock together. Think about the way the looked and how they dressed.
The following experience is Continue reading
The Written Addiction 