And I say this to you, despite the craziness of all the things around me . . . the morning is perfect.
Nothing is pressing and nothing is weighing too heavy at the moment.
The day is young and fresh, as if to just be born or perhaps I should say the day is born again.
And for now, this is more than good enough.
For now, everything is perfect.

You never forget and of course, how can anyone ever forget the times of their lives?
And of course, I agree, the times of our life have changed and altered from their original state.
But this is a normal thing.
This is a thing that comes with age.
Time moves and the glory days are more glorious and the memories become amplified like a fish that we caught as kids and somehow, the fish seems to get bigger each time we told the story.

My heart does this too.
It gets bigger, I mean.
And sometimes, my heart misremembers and oftentimes, my heart glorifies and amplifies the realities that took place, way back when.
And this is funny to me too because the world has ways of taking us in different directions and somehow, we come back to the same point and meet who we are supposed to meet.
Years pass.
Wait, no.
Decades.

It amazes me that yes, I was blind. I was blind to the truth and blinded by the surrounding ignorance and the stupid bliss of capricious youth. I was blinded by the so-called standard and the status whores who were all too driven by the ideas of being cool and popular.
I was blind to the pains or the painful truth that there is a great big world out there and that life and all its meanings were bigger than my tiny circles of influence.
My life was small and the world was greater in magnitude and more worthy than the local knucklehead friends.
Friends . . .

And you start to wonder if there is such a thing . . .
You think about the world you live in and all the ups and downs or the highs and the lows.
You think.
You know?

You wonder about the lucky ones, or at least, I should keep this on me; and so, if this is on me, then I should say that this is on me.
And it is me who wonders about the lucky ones or the so-called beautiful ones who always seem to have it easier.

In the end,
it all comes down to money,
how much you have
who you pay
how big is your house
and how much do you pay out.

The idea of restarting
or rebuilding your life
and the idea
of having to start over
or the word “dating”
and reopening yourself
to a new idea
or a new relationship . . .

I have news for you. Friends are often fair weathered and half the people who swear and promise to be there if you need them are either far away or far too busy when you need them the most.
So, in all fairness to you, me or us and myself, I have to suggest this.
Get used to saving your own life kid, which is not a bad thing to say.

I know.
. . . I know

I know how they say “after the rain comes the rainbow” and after the ah, comes relief.
I get it.
I do.

And I go back to this idea because in all fairness, where else can I go?
Where else can I go if I have no better place than this?
Who else can I turn to if I have no one else?
And if I have no one else, then let me turn to you here.
Or, at least let me try.

I go back to the idea that you can’t care. You just can’t.
You can’t care about the psychopaths or the angry ones or the enemies at the gates.
You have to ignore them.
Ignore them and the hypocrites and their lies and their accusations and the rumors they spread.
Ignore the banter because this only draws you in, which is all they want anyway.
Right?
Stalkers want attention.
So do enemies.
This is their life.
How amazing this is for them . . .
right?

You know what??
I don’t care.
Not anymore
So . . .
I think I will say what I have to say and to be honest,
I do not care whether you listen or if anyone else
is on board with me
or for the moment, I refuse to let the outside influences
do anything to me that makes me
deny my truth
that is –
even if my truths are hard to face
or
unfortunate

So,
here I go.

If you want it then you have to want it.
Nothing can stop this.
Nothing is allowed to get in your way and nothing, no matter what it is, no matter how big the obstacle is and no matter how thick the walls might be and no matter how high you have to climb and how hard you have to work, nothing is allowed to get between you and “it”