I have never been anyone else. Therefore, I cannot say what it means to think or feel like anyone else would.
I never looked at myself in the mirror and believed that I was born in the wrong body.
But yes. I have looked in the mirror and believed that I was born in the wrong life.
Safe to say . . .
I have other issues or challenges with my reflection.

Then again, one man’s poison is another man’s pleasure and whether I appreciate what I see or find a sense of confidence when I look at myself in the mirror, I do believe that someone out there sees me as perfect.
At least, I am perfect for them.
Or, so I hope.

What if there is no if . . .
what if this is the way it is
and what if the wind never comes back
or blows like it used to?

What happens when we fail to turn the page
and let the next chapter
become what it is
and of course
then what becomes of us
becoming who we are
as opposed
who are supposed to be?

Or better yet,
I ask
are these things even possible?

Good morning.

I exhale my sleepy thoughts and wake early.
As usual.
I have been told that if I want something, then I have to put it out there.
Out there.

I’ve been out there for too long and yet, I was told that if I want something, then I have to claim it.
I have to own it, whatever it may be.
It is morning, quiet as ever.

The sky is about to change from dark to light. The colors of dawn are beginning to make their appearance at the horizon.
Beautiful shades of soft pastel colors wear around the horizon in my view.
I am elsewhere for now or at least, for today.
I can see the world from a different perspective here.
I am on the beach in Delaware, a state that I never knew much about and yet, like anywhere, beauty lives here too.

What does it mean, if anything, to be someone??
“To be someone”
I re-enter this with quotations because no one is ever “nobody” and anyone can be anybody, depending upon the dream, of course.

Safe to say that I will never find myself as a starting guard in an NBA game.
Safe to say that I will never sell out Madison Square Garden with my singing voice.
Safe to say that my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu career will never lead me to a fight contract with the professional league.
But this does not mean I can never be who I’ve always dreamed to be.

I saw a famous speaker on video. He was approached by a young woman who told him she was going to be somebody . . .
one day.

What does this mean
to be somebody . . .

The rain is going to split the day in two
or so I am told.
I am told the weatherman says
the day will be partly cloudy to which this means
the day will be sunny at times.

I am told about the clouds having a silver lining
or that despite the rough times
or bad whether”
there will always be a caveat
which is a limitation
which shows that even if the world is about to end
nothing can end to completion
more than once.
And so, therefore
nothing can destroy me again
unless I allow it to.

I suppose I can say that I am in a holding pattern.
I am waiting and facing a temporary moment in time. But then again, I understand that all of this and all of what we see, and all of what we think and what we feel is temporary.
Well, maybe not everything . . .

I am done though
I am doe with hate.
I am done with the thoughts that degrade me. I am doe with the past and done with the fights and the arguments that bring me back to moments of emotional despair.
I am done with the heat-seeking missiles of emotional warfare and done with my thoughts of revenge.
None of this does any good for me.