There will always be someone to tell you what to do or how to do it. And I swear, life has funny moments which are not so funny.
There are times when we overreact and drive ourselves crazy, like when a person can misplace something and they’ll swear that they left it in the same place as always. Meanwhile, someone must have moved it. Right? Or, maybe someone stole it. That could be it too.
Until they find it in a place where they left it and realized they placed the item, which is usually a cell phone in an unusual spot and lo and behold; there it is. Now they are faced with the consequences of their silly overreactions.
My previous entry was intense to say the least. Of course, this is not intended for everyone. Or, maybe this is a little stretch of insecurity and me as your narrator, I am openly expressing my thoughts so that as we move through this journey together – you and I can connect in a way that allows for a better understanding.
I admit that this one will sting. This entry is tough to report and I agree, this post might not be for everybody. However, I am not reporting this without reason. No, not at all.
I have been discussing the details of our internal narcissist. In which case, the inventory behind mine starts in my early life. Therefore, I offer this as a qualification as to where my misleading began. Of course, I know that this is subjective. My experiences were limited to me, a young man with a challenged version of life, angry, resentful and unsure of myself and everything else around me.
The word “Me” or “I” is used often because everything was drawn back to me. Sometimes introspectively and most times selfishly, I define my past with hopes to use a humble narration. There is no pride here or ego or need to save my face. Instead, my goal is to display my state of being overly self-involved and selfish. This did not come without its own science.
By no means did I come to these conclusions until much later in life. Yet, all the same and be that as it may, my internal narcissist grew from a seedling and spread like a weed. Until one day, the center of my wrongs began to compile around the same defects of character.
This entry will be brief and due to the searching efforts, this entry will require an honest assessment of ourselves as to whether we want to change or are we only contemplating change.
Either way, whether it was something that happened in our life or if our awakening was somehow automatic, this means our eyes are open now. This also means there is no going back.
We have come to a realization that our lives were not the life we wanted. So, having had our awakening, whether this was spiritual, literal, physical or otherwise, our next move is to find the right path that can lead us to where we want to be.
Now that we have found ourselves past the doorway and entering the ideas of change, it is time to ask ourselves a simple yet very important question.
Do you love your life?
Of course, as simple as this question is, the answer itself is not always so simple. Better yet, what does this even mean?
Does this mean that we love everything that happens to us? Do we accept the good with the bad?
Or, does this mean that regardless of what happens and regardless of the challenges we face, or regardless of bad news or good news; no matter what happens, does this mean that we sincerely love the life we’ve created?
Here we are, trying to find our place in the world. Whether this is simple or easy is up for judgment. Perhaps this is all relative and, in theory, everything is relative.
We’re all looking for something. But at the same time, we all have our searches. We have our own views and our own perception of what life is or what it should be like. We have our own parameters or margins of judgment which we try to fit between. Otherwise, we find ourselves uncomfortable or out of the scope.
Perhaps some people might say, “I just want to be normal.”
By now, it is safe to say that we have all heard the common definition of insanity. If not then let me place this here. It is said that insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting different results. In fairness, there are times when I am not sure whether we are insane or just hopeful. Or, maybe this is a case where I can say, “A little bit of both.”
Einstein once said “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” Then again, Einstein also said “The only thing more dangerous than ignorance is arrogance.” I assume this is true. However, our ability to limit ourselves is incredible to me. I can see how we fall in the same traps or trip over the same hazards without fail.
Just a quick note before we move forward, my effort is to break this down into the simplest terms. As it is, we spend much of our lives overthinking or over-complicating ourselves. The suggestion, of course, is “Keep it simple” which can become complicated because we often clutter ourselves with the perceived ideas of complications. We project and we assume.
The truth is we have a choice. Each morning, we have to choose when to get up and where to go. There are times when it may seem as if our choices are limited. Or better yet, we may not like our choices. We might not enjoy what’s in front of us. But still, each day comes with its own unique choices.
They say that we have to leave our downfalls behind us if we want to move forward. I guess there’s something to this, right?
They say that the past is gone. We don’t live there anymore, nor do we have to. Then again, we also live in this thing called the real world. No one here is impenetrable. No one can say that they’ve never dealt with poor decisions or lived with no regrets. No one can say that they’ve never wished for a “take back” or a “do-over.”
It would be inaccurate to say that our future has never been shaped by the outcomes of our past. It would also be inaccurate to say that who we are has nothing to do with our chronological background.
The worst place to be in is a place that never changes, never challenges and never dares us to grow or walk on. We never evolve or try or move in a new direction.
We never find our passion and, essentially, we remain stuck.
There’s no drive or substance. There’s only more of the same which might be fine for some people. There’s no room for judgment here. However, when we look to make a change or if we want to improve our life, the inertia of change is intended to break the loop of repetitiveness. Otherwise, there is no change. Or, even if we have changed, without maintenance, we can find ourselves back in the loop. Or, as the saying goes: We’re back in the saddle again.