What Depression Does

You want to know why I cry?
You want to know why I wanted to be involved or why I do what I do?

I sat in the small bathroom of an upstairs suite of an old hotel that was transformed into a drug rehabilitation center. The decorations were something from the 70’s. The suite had a blue rug, white walls, and wood colored furniture. The main lobby was also outdated with wood paneled walls and Berber carpeting. The couches were old. The pictures on the wall were perhaps left behind from the days when the treatment center was a temporary home to happy hotel guests. In its exchange, the hotel became a temporary home to people like me. This was a place of recovery for drug addicts and alcoholics.

I was 19 at the time and fulfilling my Continue reading

A Little Bit About The Path We Choose

I hate the fallout of friendships.
I hate the unmovable and imaginary line that splits down the center of the room, leaving us with the idea of, “You’ll stay in your half and I’ll sat in mine.”
I hate the cold war and the dirty looks between old friends who can no longer stand the sight of each other. I hate the lingering resentment and I hate it when memories appear to shine light on our foolishness.

It is right to Continue reading

A Quick Piece About Being Young

I was thinking of the late night spots of my younger days. Better than the murder burgers in 24hr fast-food restaurants,  I was thinking about places where crowds of after-hour people gathered to find good food. We crowded at these eateries and restaurants  before granting the overdue ending to a long insatiable night. I had my places, which I preferred over the others.
I had my favorite dishes.
By the time the meal was finished, the sun would begin to poke its way through the membrane of the horizon. Reconstructed from darkness to sunlight, the morning sun lifted as the birds chirped. If I were lucky, I would Continue reading

A Note To You

Somewhere in another world—or maybe it was another lifetime, on nights like this one, my family would gather for the holiday. This dinner or, “Seder,” as it was called was pretty long. We called this day Pesach in Hebrew. Others know this holiday as Passover.

It is truly amazing how years seem to fit between times like now and then. As I write this to you, I am sitting in a room, far away from the dining rooms of my youth. I am far away from the traditions of my childhood and distant from Continue reading

A Bedtime Story

She moved into the room. Her blue, silk collared shirt was unbuttoned beneath the jacket of her dark gray pants suit. She stood barefoot in the doorway—the twinkle from the candlelight glimmered in her eyes. Her blonde hair was cut to shoulder length, which was tossed over to the left side of her face. Her lips appeared moist and shiny in the dim light and her mouth was slightly open, revealing the slight hint of a brightly white smile.

He watched her from the bed. His body was undressed and halfway beneath the covers. His back was propped up on the Continue reading

Expanding Horizons

Today was happily spent off the grid. Other than this note to you and a morning entry in my journal, I did not touch, think about, or utilize anything that involved technology or social media.

I have lived in my surroundings and within my comfort zone or things I utilize to keep me comfortable for a long time now. For as long as I know, I have stayed as I was. I used the only tools I ever knew to keep my sanity, as well as protect my emotions.
At times, I limited myself to the Continue reading

Sessions From The Balcony: The Hangover

We all find ourselves on the wrong side of excess.
It starts out like a good idea . . . . doesn’t it?
But then the good idea turns and by the time we find out
it’s too late.

The morning after . . .

Eyes open slightly with face buried into pillows. The sudden awareness of pain surged up from the top of my neck—my head was heavy and the only smell was the remnants of last night’s remedy.
The sunlight that moved through the bedroom from underneath the curtain was too bright.
I knew that outside, life continued. There was no rest for the weary. At least, not in my case. I could still smell the alcohol and the aftermath of a drink that was thrown in my face.
To the best of my recollection, this was done by a girl who I apparently Continue reading

Letters From A Son

Yesterday was a strange day. After the morning rain gave way to a clear sky, I decided that I needed to clear my head and take a long, quiet drive.
I chose to head north on Route 59. I drove parallel to Route 17 and passed Hillburn. There are mountains on either side of the road. Aside from the scattered storefronts and businesses in the passing towns, the scene is overcome by the vastness of tall evergreens, and tall trees with empty branches that point upwards like tall brown arms , reaching for the heavens beneath a softly golden shade of sunlight.
As for now, the trees are beginning to bud for the season. Soon enough the hills and mountainsides will be green again.
More importantly; warmer days are on the way.

I love drives like this. There is Continue reading