To Be Free

I spent a great deal of time worrying. I was either hinged upon emotion or dependent upon people, places, and things, which I believed were parts of my identity. I was so afraid to be alone. I was afraid that my fears may be true; that I was nothing more than the sum of my concerns and that I was truly incapable.

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The Thought Machine

My morning is simple. . .
I wake up, which is always a good thing. I get myself to the kitchen to push the magic blue button on my coffee machine. Then I head back upstairs to my loft. I go through my usual morning routine. I write a little. I think a little. I plan my day, finish my coffee and then clean myself, brush my teeth, get dressed, head downstairs, put on my shoes, and then I head to the bus. I park in the same spot, unless someone beats me to it.
I cross the street to wait on a line with others who stand and wait for the same bus every day, seemingly mindless, lost in thought during the early morning sunrise, and still sleepy, but hey, bills are bills and work is work.

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Let’s Get To The Point

Before going forward in my life, I needed to understand more about the things that held me back. I needed to understand the reason why I behaved because the reason why I behave as I did were more important to the behavior itself.
I think of it like this, when we’re sick and go to the doctor, the doctor asks about our symptoms.
Do you have a sore throat? Is there any headache?
Do you have a fever?
They ask simple questions like this. But the headache or the runny nose are only symptoms. Although uncomfortable, the symptoms are not the problem. They are only evidence that the problem exists. We can alleviate them. We can soothe them. But to rid us from the symptoms, we have to treat the underlying problem.
Right?

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To Be Free

I can’t say where this began. Somehow, politics have become the new religion.
I see people that were once friends or even family are now on polar opposites of the world to each other.
They’re enemies now.
We’ve become a “Who did you vote for,” community and a “What God do you pray to,” society.
We treat symptoms but not the roots. We argue. We debate. We claim our flag in whichever condition it’s in and then we argue some more but to what avail?
Who benefits?
Or more importantly, who suffers?

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