There is a fantasy that everything in life has to be a certain way. Men are men, and women are women. There is a black and white design, almost like a cookie-cutter recipe, in which, whenever we veer away from the normal or stray from the common path, somehow, there is an idea that life is not supposed to be like this.
For some reason, there are people that associate difference with right or wrong. But why?
There is no law that says life has to be a certain way. There are no chains that bind anyone to a certain lifestyle.
Nothing says we have to be parents or live in a big house with a nice yard and a two-car garage. There is no proof this is the only way to be happy.
There is a misconception in the case of life and how life has to be lived.
So, in fairness, I am going to let you in on a little secret.
Are you ready?
Avoid the ideas of forced blueprints. Do not design your life or your home, based on the customs of something or someone else.
There is no rule that says we have to be like everyone else. There is no reason for us to compare or compromise.
There is nothing that says life will come without pain or tragedy because the truth is, no one escapes pain or tragedy.
We experience pain throughout our entire life. We go through growth spurts and experience growing pains. This happens to us both physically and emotionally. There is no escaping this fact of life.
For some reason, there is a common misconception that everything in life has to be perfect. We create images in our mind and form opinions and biases that dictate our belief systems. But what if our belief system is wrong or doesn’t work for us?
For whatever reason, people seem to feel the need to defend themselves or somehow, protect themselves from vulnerability.
People are always looking to prove themselves. People look for validation. They defend themselves as if everything is a threat.
Think of how often people defend their position, both personally and professionally, because there is a common fear of loss and people are afraid someone might sneak in and take something away.
“And then what?”
Who are we without a title to define us?
The truth is we are all exceptionally vulnerable. No matter how physically strong we are or wealthy we become, life still happens to everyone.
Life and pain do not discriminate (even if we do).
And the idea of freedom:
What does this even mean? What does it mean to be free?
How could anyone ever be free if they are chained to the restraints of ideas and social desires which are based upon trained lies that say, “Life has to be this way.”
Who has the right to say how life should or shouldn’t be?
Somewhere there has been a source of misinformation that predicts, “This is how we are supposed to be in life.” And any variation of this leads people to the idea that something must be wrong if their life is not up to par.
If we are supposed to be anything then how can we be anything if we are not free to be who we choose?
There are people that choose the quick fixes and look for instant gratification, and then spend their entire lives chasing a thrill or paying for a quick and easy fix.
There are people that live their entire lives, based on the predication that “This is life,” and anything other than this would simply be unacceptable.
Does the term, “Loser,” mean anything to you?
There are people that fully believe their life is meaningless if the sum of their bank accounts fall below grade or if their life is not newsworthy or their name is not on the front page or up in lights.
There is an idea that people are supposed to be married. There is an idea that says people are supposed to have children. But what if this does not happen? What if our dreams deviate from the standard versions of what we’ve been taught?
There is an idea that I have, which has saved my life.
What if we decided to move away from the ideas of trained thinking?
What if we decided to create our own blueprint?
What if we lived our life according to our standards and learned to disregard the opinions of anyone else?
Wouldn’t that be nice?
What if we lived life for ourselves instead of living for someone else?
Pain is part of life. Sometimes pain can be the only thing we feel. Sometimes moments of happiness are nothing more than limited, fleeting moments that only come in spurts of laughter and then later, everything subsides back to grief.
Somewhere is the lie that life is to be perfect, but the lie can only live if we feed into it. This is why we can only live for the moment. And should the moment be bad, we have to endure until the fleeting moments return and then revel in the happiness whenever we feel it because good times are not guaranteed to anyone.
There are moments when it seems there is no strength to stand. There are moments when it may seem like the entire world is against you or as if “everyone is in on it,” and there are times when life can be nothing short of downright lonely.
This is life.
There are times when moving or getting up out of bed seems like too much to ask. In fact, I can remember a morning, laying in bed, and the entire weight of the world was on my chest.
I was stuck in my mental state. I was locked into my sadness. I was beating myself up for all my faults and all my differences.
I was mad, angry, pissed at the world, hurt and sad, and if I had the energy I’d have cursed and shook my fists at the world.
I can remember lying in my bed and there was an old cobweb in the corner of my room and hanging down from the ceiling. I remember watching the old lifeless cobweb sway in the breeze and feeling the exact same way.
Life was too much. I never had my big shot. I was a divorced Dad. I had a child out of wedlock before meeting my ex-wife. I never accomplished my dreams, but then again, I never tried either.
I never had the life I thought I was supposed to have and in comparison, I certainly never fit into the common groups.
I was never like anyone else. I never made that million dollar dream, and I never had the chance to pull off my trick (at least, not yet).
There was a lie that I adhered to. There was a misconception that I invested in for most of my life, which taught me that life has to be a certain way.
But none of this is true.
There is a lie that people feed into that says their lawn has to be the greenest. There is a lie that people believe that says their house has to be the best on the block, or the prettiest. There is a lie that says beauty is a standard.
Meanwhile, most people that live this way have no idea what the word beautiful means. People that live this way have failed to see their own brilliance and understand their own beauty. So how could they possibly know what beautiful even looks like?
I was listening to someone talk about a job they picked up as a writer. And I started to think about me and my journey. I wondered why I never picked up a writing gig like him.
I wondered why I hadn’t found my success story yet.
In part, the reason is because my story is not his story. Another reason why I haven’t found my success story is because I am still writing it.
We all are.
There were times, like the one I explained about lying in bed and watching the cobweb swaying from the ceiling in my bedroom. I swore I would never make it. But yet, I’m still here.
I might not have the cookie-cutter house, and my life might not match the standard blueprint. And you know what?
I don’t want to be standard. I don’t want to live my life like anyone else. It’s hard enough to live life and just be me.
I think the freest I ever felt was the day I realized that I cannot live my life like anybody else.
The freest I felt was the day I decided to live my life and just be me.
The best thing I ever did was get up when I felt down. And above all, the strongest move I ever made was the move I took to build my life according to my own plan.
Life is meant to be lived and not just endured.
The bravest step I ever took was the step I took when I decided to come clean with myself. I faced my debts. I owned my pain and my mistakes.
I embraced me for who I am instead of embracing a life I pretended to have.
There is no law that says life has to be easy.
But also, there is no rule that says we can’t fight back when we get knocked down. And more to the point, there is no reason to lay there silently in a sad submission; especially when the rest of our life is right outside our front door.
Your life is meant to be lived.
So go live it now . . .