I was sitting in a small, two-bedroom apartment that was situated in the upstairs of a private home.
I had just moved back to my old neighborhood. I went back to where I began and where I grew up. Perhaps I went here for comfort. Maybe I went here because there was a part of me that felt I had nowhere else to go.
We have all found ourselves here, at the bottom, and everything hurts. Everything seems lost and there doesn’t seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel.
We have all found ourselves, hopeless in the ideas of the bottomless pit of failures and letdowns. And we have all asked ourselves the question, “Why me?”
These things are strong: man, woman, mother and father. This is where life comes from. This is where birth begins. This is our family, which we are to be thankful for. This has created us and the generations before us to lead us up to now; our family, our history, our future. Good, bad, troubled or otherwise, this is where we come from.
I sit by window in the morning to watch the sunrise. This takes place in the loft of my home, which is small, but quaint, and perfectly secluded in a quiet mountain town approximately an hour away from the city.
Truth is I am always up early., which I don’t mind. I like to watch the sunrise. I like the view of the clouds and the sky. I love the seasonal versions of dawn, winter, spring, summer, and fall.
Closer to the point, I like when the sun emerges and breaks into the palm of the horizon. Suddenly, the sky begins to take on color. It’s a new day, but to me, I choose to see this as a vision of hope.
I come to this moment to find a sense of peace and quiet. This is my time to unplug from the troublesome thoughts and the problematic symptoms, which we face on a daily basis.
More importantly, I come here for you. I come to find this thing we have together, the empty page, the keys I type on, and of course, my trusty cup of coffee that sits next to me.
Please forgive me. This is me being honest for a minute. This is me opening up instead of the usual norm or talking about the best foot forward or positive affirmation ideas that I usually try to convey. Instead, this is me giving an old side of my personality a voice.
So for now, I will let my words go to replace thought with action and openly show the truth in my heart.
After a while, it comes to the point where we can’t bang our heads against the same wall anymore. Eventually, there comes a moment when we face the realization that no matter how hard we try, certain things will always be out of our control.
Take the idea of approval, for example. Think about the energy we spend in effort to seek approval. Think about the effort we put into outside validation.
Think about the effort behind people pleasing the and outcomes, which will often come up short.
I think there needs to be a new way to address our oppositions. In fairness to us and in fairness to those around us, I think we have to understand what our opposition is.
Is this really a threat?
We need to understand how our opposition affects us. More importantly, we have to understand why our opposition affects us. Is this real, or, is this something more internal with a deeper meaning?