I want to talk to you about freedom. I want to talk about freedom from the bondage of self. And I say self, as in the I, me, the individual and the personal nature of one’s own life.
I want to encourage movement because otherwise, there is only the stagnant nature of things. There is only the “more of the same” and though I say this, I want to encourage myself as well as someone else. I want to inspire the person who is reading this who might be at the edge or who might be thinking about resigning or giving in.

The saying goes that when the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. And this fits us now, that rather than debate a fact or hear an opinion about a person, place or thing; people dive into ad hominem attacks in which we attack character or motives instead of debating the fact itself. I see this now. I see the character assassinations. I see this in politics. I have seen this happen with divorce. I have seen this with the cancel-cultures around us. I see the slanderous attacks on people which tend to linger and burrow far deeper than people imagine.

I wonder now.
Where was I on this day back in 1988? I wonder, for example, the math that went into deciding my turns or predicting my future. I say this because if at all, if we are anything; we are most certainly an outcome. And now as I approach you with this thought, although my time in math class with word problems is far distant from me now, the idea of finding the outcome in a mathematical equation means the possible result that depends on probability.

I pause here to warn you that I was never an exceptional student – especially in math or science or especially in understanding probabilities. I say this and admit that intellectually, I understood the basic math of me plus you. It was the emotional math that was often miscalculated 

This is easier than you think . . .
People ask if there’s a secret to being helpful. The truth is there is no secret. There are natural ingredients that we have as people which, perhaps, not everyone is as in tune with this. But still, we all have the ability to listen. We all have the need to be heard. We have the need to be understood and the desire to be acknowledged. 

The biggest challenges we face are the challenges in our mind. And suddenly, it’s the idea that we will face something so big or unstoppable and n the midst of our thought process, we’ve become so intimidated that we lose ourselves.
We lose our drive because our predictions have brought on the suggestion of defeat. Since the end result of our thinking is an emotional reaction that changes our chemistry; emotionally, we’ve taken on the responsibility of a loss that hasn’t even happened yet. 

The idea that comes to mind is more of a question really. And the question is simple. The question is how do we keep on moving? How do we start all over? Or wait, how do we go back to the old drawing board? Or, how do we grow stronger or stand taller after we’ve fallen down. I mean, let’s face it; it’s tough to get back up sometimes. It’s tough, especially when you’ve been hurt so badly that you’re not sure if you can stand back up again? But you have to get back up. Right?
Like it or not, no one can lay down forever. You have to keep going. Isn’t that what people say?

I am all out of excuses, I told myself. I was awaiting the next scene to play that has yet to unfold. This is life, I said and for others, the day seemed like nothing, like it’s just another moment in the world. The sun rises and sets. The traffic lights change and trigger the “walk” signs at the crosswalks in New York City.
There was nowhere left to hide and no one else to blame. It was me. All me and the angst and the anxiety, the sentiments of foolish nature which, in fairness, all began as an idea to cope or create a sense of comfort for myself.

I see this now and look back at myself. I think about the imperfection of personal mathematics which can often go wrong and I write this openly to acknowledge my imperfections as we all as my ability to feed the irrational thoughts that come to my head. 
I am like you. Or, I am no better or worse than anyone else. I have this moment here when I journal but after I press send and release my thoughts into the universe, I am a person who sits in traffic and curses at the cars who brake too often or fail to give way. I’ve had my moments of yelling at signs or at televisions and, yes, I’ve shook my fist at the sky on more than one occasion.

I once spent an entire day cursing and assembling furniture. Ever do this? Ever open a box and look through the instructions that have no words?
I have.
I’ve had to assemble desks throughout the years. I once put a shed together. I’ve built tables and shelves and I admit that I am not the best at this. However, I’ve improved but at the same time, I’m a little out of practice. If I’m being honest, even at my best, I always come up with spare parts.

There really is no reason for us to fight or argue. And yet, we do. We argue about everything. We argue about politics. We argue about prices. We argue about the difference between sauce or gravy. Come to think of it, I have seen people literally get upset about the direction the toilet paper roll was placed on the handle. And I get it. Everybody has a pet peeve.
Everyone has an agenda. Everyone has an opinion and everyone has the need to be heard. At the same time, everybody assumes their way is the right way.