After a while, it comes to the point where we can’t bang our heads against the same wall anymore. Eventually, there comes a moment when we face the realization that no matter how hard we try, certain things will always be out of our control.
Take the idea of approval, for example. Think about the energy we spend in effort to seek approval. Think about the effort we put into outside validation.
Think about the effort behind people pleasing the and outcomes, which will often come up short.
I think there needs to be a new way to address our oppositions. In fairness to us and in fairness to those around us, I think we have to understand what our opposition is.
Is this really a threat?
We need to understand how our opposition affects us. More importantly, we have to understand why our opposition affects us. Is this real, or, is this something more internal with a deeper meaning?
I was midway through a class to gain a state recognized certification. The area was familiar to me.
We were uptown near 116th St and Park Avenue to be exact. I used to go here when I was different person and for a much different reasons. However, times have changed for the better and so has the neighborhood. I was attending a school to achieve something and better myself, which, in fairness, years back, I used to go to 116th to better myself too.
Only, now my intentions have changed. My reason for taking this class was to help people get away from the same reason I used to go the spot up on the corner.
One would think that a happy life and good living is enough incentive to make a change or bring people together. However, there is an old saying that comes to mind which goes, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”
There is a quote I think about from Charles Bukowski that says, “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
I think about this quote sometimes.
I think about the times I’ve gone crazy. Then I think about the times when I felt crazy. I think about the hard times and the desperate times. I think about the times I found myself on the poor end of bad decisions.
I think about the times I found myself in the worst places. I think about the jail cells. I think about the office visits of authority figures and the jobs I lost as a result to my behavior or performance. I think about being a divorced dad.
I am part of a Monday—Friday life in which, come Monday, I am on a bus from a street near my home and heading into New York City to earn my living and pay my bills. I do this for the same reason as most people. I want to have a certain kind of life. I want nice things. I have to drive so I need a car. I need insurance. I need to invest and spend wisely; otherwise, it becomes hard to have financial stability I hope to achieve.
I know what it means to sit across from someone that “Knows it all,” and needs to show that they “Know it all.” And I know that I know this is about them. Not me. However, the way I see it is this is part of the problem.
Whether this is religion, economics, politics, or even if it is as simple as my doctor is better than yours; everyone has this strange need to be validated as being right. But to what avail?
Is this helpful? Or, how does this look to the browbeaten and tired? How does this interact with someone looking to change or better themselves?
Is this going to help someone come out from behind a problem and say, “Hey, can you please help me?”
I don’t think so . . .