One of the smartest women I have ever met once told me, “Everyone is recovering from something, Benny. And don’t you forget it”
“We all got something going on,” she said.
“And we all have something to work through.”
I say she is right about this. We all have demons and skeletons, bumps and bruises, and scars than run as deep as our Continue reading
I was smaller than most. I was weak too, or at least weaker than most with a small boyish, baby-like face. I appeared much younger than the others my age. I was not athletic or spectacular in any way that would make me stand out in the crowd. I was uncomfortable at best and eager to be liked.
I wanted to fit and feel comfortable in my surroundings. I wanted to say the right things and be the right person but for some reason, everything about me seemed mismatched or unfitting. My words never came out right and instead, they repeated in my mind like a haunting and undying echo and I would try to say something to correct this but the words that would follow only came out worse than the original things I had already said.
I tried though. I did. But Continue reading
I can stand true to one thing; pain is painful, I agree. But when it comes to pain from the heart, I defy anyone to stand so strong that they don’t fall to their knees.
I had an amazing phone conversation with someone who is fresh out and back into the world. Wherever he was previously is unimportant; however, now he is home and free from his previous surroundings. Now he is back to where his real life can begin.
There has Continue reading
Please note: The following is just my experience. I do not claim to know more than anyone nor do I claim to say these things from a professional standpoint. But breaking things down this way has helped me.
Sometimes the attacks come out of nowhere. One subtle thought leads to another and then the fear receptors override logic. This is what happens. Your fear receptors overreact and release calcium Continue reading
More and more, I have become interested about how the brain works. This is especially so when it comes to my own and my own life. So in an effort to learn more about me as well as my mistakes and behaviors and in order to understand more about the self-made roadblocks we often find in our way, I took a deeper look into the definition of what sobriety means.
According to dictionary.com, there are nine different definitions. However, a few of these stood out to me above all. According to the dictionary, to be sober is to be free from excess, extravagance, and exaggeration. To be sober is to be sane or rational, and to show self-control. Although I am some of these things, I am certainly not all.
I thought Continue reading
I suppose a lot of things are intimidating in the beginning. I remember my first class I needed to take to start gaining my certifications to help in the recovery world. They went around the room and each student had to introduce themselves to the class. Each person had a title. They all had credentials. Some in attendance had been in the clinical world for a long time, some of them held master degrees, and me, well, —I was just me, intimidated Continue reading
Damned kids . . .
They know it all. You can’t tell them anything. They don’t listen and I swear, it’s like talking to the wall, only, the wall listens better and the wall doesn’t talk back.
I never thought I would say these things. Then again, I never thought I would be an adult either, —which is not to say that I never thought I would grow older. I guess I just assumed I would always see be the Continue reading