Book of Firsts: My First Deployment

I had no idea what to expect. All the training and all the practice, all the role-play scenarios and all the theories were nowhere near the same as the real thing.
I was on call for the first time. I was the primary specialist, which meant if there was an opiate overdose call to 911 within a certain district, I would be deployed to one of the served hospitals as recovery support.
My job was to meet the patient at the hospital. I was to interview them and then see if they were willing to undergo treatment instead of heading back out, just to set up again and find another needle in their vein.

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Moving On . . .

This one is personal to me.
I suppose they all are personal but this one has an exception, which I hope the reason becomes clear to you.
The truth is no one ever wants to “Feel” or “Be” alone.
Nobody does.
Depression and fear are very real things to me. I had to learn from them. I had to learn how to interact and live instead of struggle or suffer. above all, I had to learn how to move on.

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About Regret

Note to you:
I am putting this here (with you) in a collection I call The Book of Firsts. I say this because everything begins from somewhere. Every journey begins with the first step and so on and so forth.
I know this and I know you do too. So, I will spare the philosophy and leave this thought here where it belongs, in The Book of Firsts to build from here and create what comes forward, one brick at a time . . .

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From The Book of Firsts: This was Day 1

I was about to head to a small town I had never heard of in the Upstate part of New York. I was physically uncomfortable in my own skin and sick in a way that I had never felt before. I was told that I had to go “Away” until the courts figured out what to do with me. My attorney warned that I better hope this worked. He advised that I better pray that I don’t get what I deserve. I say “My attorney” but he was not my attorney. More accurately, he was the attorney my folks hired to defend me in a court of law. So it was more like he was “Their” attorney.

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A Memory: A Morning On Avenue A

It was morning and the sun was already hot near 23rd Street. The season was upon us in the unofficial start of summer. I was out the night before with some of the boys. It was Memorial Day weekend in New York City.
Most of the city was half-emptied with the wilder, younger crowds out someplace else—like say, maybe down the shore in Jersey or out east on Long Island, in the Hamptons, or out on Fire Island, or at Montauk Point.

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Memory and The Joey O Predicament

The world changes and as it does; suddenly the familiar things become strange like some small detail we’ve seen a million times before, but yet, we never seemed to take notice of until are eyes were able to see things from a different perspective.

I sat across from a detective once. Meanwhile, my life was about to alter and all I could notice was the loose Continue reading

From The Book of Firsts: Loves Me and Loves me Nots

People say you never forget your first love. Maybe this is true.
I’m not sure if anyone ever forgets their first of anything when it comes to anything important. I can say that I remember my first kiss at sleep-away camp.
I can say I remember the first girl that I called “My girlfriend,” which lasted for about three to maybe four days. I remember the first girl I ever had the chance to play Continue reading