I come from a small town approximately 31 miles east of New York City. In my youth, I walked nearly all of its streets, searching for a sense of identity while trying to find my purpose and understand the meaning of life. I have history in this town, which is not all good. However, my history is not all bad.
In my youth, I was Continue reading
I ever tell you about my friend Abbie?
I met Abbey when I was about three years-old. This was when my family lived in Forest Hills, New York. We lived in a duplex apartment at 66th Road behind the Hollywood Bowl on Queens Boulevard. I was too young to remember much about the apartment. I remember brown, shag carpeting, which was in the upstairs corridor. I remember the blue walls in my bedroom, which was marked with crayons Continue reading
It was late in October.
Outside, the air smelled from fireplaces and wet leaves,
which had changed from green to colorful
and then fallen to the ground.
I could smell the oncoming months of cold weather,
but yet, I could smell the warmth of a life
that would no longer be lonely.
I knew little Continue reading
Tucked in Upstate New York mountains and hidden in the quiet anonymity of a small town with only a few homes, few business and fewer people, I found myself in a short-stay rehabilitation center.
The center was not as I imagined it would be. The place was not hospital-like in any way. However, there was a basic nursing staff. There were no medical doctors or medications, only counselors, and ex-drunks that chose a therapeutic career after their own successful rehabilitation.
We were in the middle of nowhere. I was the youngest patient, and as it seemed, I was certainly not the only patient undergoing treatment as forced condition by an outside source. Most of the men Continue reading
Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is the ability to respond in spite of our fears. I know this now because even in my bravest moments, I was still petrified.
I see my faith in a similar way. My faith does not come without doubt.
I have doubt, but yet still believe.
And though sad times and bad news comes for us all; I still believe in the heart of man. I still believe there is good in the world. And though I have prayers, I understand the answers Continue reading
A long time ago . . .
I walked through the door at the front of a room and head straight to a yellow plastic chair on a steel frame, which as well, was at the front of the room with its back to the wall. I faced a U-shaped bench that was made of dark-stained wood and stationed against the other remaining three walls. The floor was tiled with tiles that were once white, but age and foot traffic left the floor to seem worn and scattered with black streaks and sneaker marks.
It had been a long Continue reading
I never liked the dating scene, but after a failed marriage, I found myself back in the swing of it. I moved from a loveless home and sexless part of my life and settled into a small apartment with hopes for a potentially better future.
It was clear to me that a relationship was not an option. I was at the starting line of divorce; my papers of legal separation were freshly signed, my head was filled with too many concerns about finances and I questioned my faults as a man as well a father.
Aside from Continue reading