I think I will close this here . . .
But before I do, please allow me this one final entry.
We reach a point where the chapters end so a new one can begin. Or better yet, we come to an understanding or we move on. We move forward and once we’ve identified our acceptance of what was and now that we realize where our struggles began, we can either face them and change or we can submit to them and deal with more of the same.
Safe to say that I have met good people who were compromised by a challenge or a demon. Safe to say that although I say these were good people, in the same sentence, I can say that they have done terrible things. Then again, it would be equally safe to say that as a human, I am no different. Therefore, the question remains: Is this fixable? Are we truly curable? Or, is our wiring and our chemistry always prone to our defects? Better yet, is recovery possible?
We should go back to the saying, “No matter where you go, there you are,” which is true. It is also true to go back to the quote that says, “I don’t know about you but I have thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.” This is also true but then again, chances are that we are adults for a lot longer than we’re kids.
There are times when life becomes complicated. Whether this is an emotional downfall or a personal dilemma, or whether this is a business problem or a work life complication, there are times when you want to run. You want to quit.
You want to pack up your bags and take it on the road. And of course, the adult mind understands that is an irrational option. Intellectually we understand that we can’t just “Get up and go!” But emotion and intellect are not exclusive. The two will often fail to see eye-to-eye.
No one is born into perfection. Then again, nobody is perfect anyway, right?
No one walks into a job and knows everything on the first day. No one gets on a bike without falling a few times and no one among us is above being shaken or disturbed.
The one thing we can all be confident of is that there is always a learning curve. This means we need time to adjust. This means we have to adapt to new information.
This is for you . . .
I am writing this to let you know that it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to take a minute. Or, if you have to take a little more. Take what you need because it’s okay. Sometimes you have to take a break.
It’s okay to let go of the invisible pressures that suffocate our thinking.
And I get it.
The world can be an intense place. And it’s crazy too. Life is all over the place and if it’s not one thing, it’s another. Sometimes it seems like we’ve jumped out of the frying pan and into the fryer.
There’s always something going on.
I would like to direct your attention to this thing we call humanity. Then again, what does humanity mean? Does this only mean to be human or to be real? And what does this mean to be real anyway? Is this us? Are we real?
Then again, is anything real?
Consider this as a working model, otherwise known as Project Earth. Assume this is no different from a model, like a train station inside of a hobby shop. Trains pass and people are either frozen or fixed into an appropriate position. We are all placed in our perspective places.
This is us, so-to-speak. We are alive and well on a huge ball which is the approximately 92,547,025.4 square miles that circles around the sun. Then again, here we are, living in the same amount of space yet there are people who would swear that the world circles around them. But I digress.
Let’s go back to that model. Let’s think about the scale of things and the different places and communities. Let’s think about the different cultures, people, races, religions, beliefs and otherwise. This is an embodiment of our so-called society. And here we are. All of us. Everyone is on the move. Everyone has something to do or someplace to be and everyone has their own trips and hang-ups.
There will always be someone to tell you what to do or how to do it. And I swear, life has funny moments which are not so funny.
There are times when we overreact and drive ourselves crazy, like when a person can misplace something and they’ll swear that they left it in the same place as always. Meanwhile, someone must have moved it. Right? Or, maybe someone stole it. That could be it too.
Until they find it in a place where they left it and realized they placed the item, which is usually a cell phone in an unusual spot and lo and behold; there it is. Now they are faced with the consequences of their silly overreactions.
My previous entry was intense to say the least. Of course, this is not intended for everyone. Or, maybe this is a little stretch of insecurity and me as your narrator, I am openly expressing my thoughts so that as we move through this journey together – you and I can connect in a way that allows for a better understanding.
I admit that this one will sting. This entry is tough to report and I agree, this post might not be for everybody. However, I am not reporting this without reason. No, not at all.
I have been discussing the details of our internal narcissist. In which case, the inventory behind mine starts in my early life. Therefore, I offer this as a qualification as to where my misleading began. Of course, I know that this is subjective. My experiences were limited to me, a young man with a challenged version of life, angry, resentful and unsure of myself and everything else around me.
The word “Me” or “I” is used often because everything was drawn back to me. Sometimes introspectively and most times selfishly, I define my past with hopes to use a humble narration. There is no pride here or ego or need to save my face. Instead, my goal is to display my state of being overly self-involved and selfish. This did not come without its own science.
By no means did I come to these conclusions until much later in life. Yet, all the same and be that as it may, my internal narcissist grew from a seedling and spread like a weed. Until one day, the center of my wrongs began to compile around the same defects of character.
This entry will be brief and due to the searching efforts, this entry will require an honest assessment of ourselves as to whether we want to change or are we only contemplating change.
Either way, whether it was something that happened in our life or if our awakening was somehow automatic, this means our eyes are open now. This also means there is no going back.
We have come to a realization that our lives were not the life we wanted. So, having had our awakening, whether this was spiritual, literal, physical or otherwise, our next move is to find the right path that can lead us to where we want to be.
Now that we have found ourselves past the doorway and entering the ideas of change, it is time to ask ourselves a simple yet very important question.
Do you love your life?
Of course, as simple as this question is, the answer itself is not always so simple. Better yet, what does this even mean?
Does this mean that we love everything that happens to us? Do we accept the good with the bad?
Or, does this mean that regardless of what happens and regardless of the challenges we face, or regardless of bad news or good news; no matter what happens, does this mean that we sincerely love the life we’ve created?