This entry will be brief and due to the searching efforts, this entry will require an honest assessment of ourselves as to whether we want to change or are we only contemplating change.
Either way, whether it was something that happened in our life or if our awakening was somehow automatic; this means our eyes are open now. This also means there is no going back.
We have come to a realization that our lives were not the life we wanted. So, having had our awakening, whether this was spiritual, literal, physical or otherwise, our next move is to find the right path that can lead us to where we want to be.
Once we’ve made our decision to improve, next are the details that lead us to our improvements.
What does this mean?
This means our decision is part dedication and part action. This means our decision is part plan and part endurance. This will lead to part success and achievements and part drawbacks and downfalls.
It is helpful to be mindful of our surroundings as well as being selective with who we choose to include with our action plan. There are those who can drain our energy and those who add an unnecessary level of difficulty. Therefore, we have to be mindful of our surroundings and the company we keep.
This means that the world is not always going to allow for an easy transition. So, remember that our old “self” and default settings are going to have knee-jerk reactions. What this means is our actions and behaviors have been a trained response for a very long time.
At times, old thoughts and feelings can lead us back to a fail-safe mode – or to a positioning where we are more comfortable in an old setting.
However, now that we are past the decision mode and we have moved beyond the planning stages, now it’s time to act.
If you’ve chosen to go at this alone, then it is important to define your assets and resources. Define your home team and your circle of influence. Again, be selective and understand this does not mean you have to tell everyone everything . . . but you do have to tell someone something. Or, if you are at this alone then write down your plans and find ways to hold yourself accountable as well as learn ways to alleviate the stressors that might trip you in the future.
Next, be realistic.
The quickest path to quitting is to set unrealistic goals. This sets the bar too high and the pace will be too much to keep up with on a long-term basis. Unrealistic goals lead to disappointment and disappointments led us back to old or default settings.
Next, write out your plan.
Allow this to act as your personal contract, which means that you are holding yourself accountable. Set daily or incremental goals, short-term goals, and, of course, your long-term goals.
Take daily steps to work at this but be mindful that the beginning will call for special care.
Understand that you are training yourself to evolve from old habits.
Be advised that there will be hard days ahead. There will be times when we are not at our best. There will be days when we have to allow for error and there will be moments when we didn’t get our exercise in.
We slipped. Or we fell from our program. Or we “relapsed” in a sense which in many cases, relapse is part of our recovery.
There are going to be times when we feel as if we are on top of the world and oppositely, there will be days when we feel like we are under it.
Either way, our aim is to set up a pace that is reasonable. This way we can climb back up to our feet and hit the ground running.
We might have to trick our reward system. This can be done by creating new and healthy ways to produce dopamine. We have to boost our pleasure center.
We want to improve our pleasure and learn new ways to motivate our system. Therefore, we are teaching ourselves new and favorable habits to replace our old sources of habit.
Our goal is to improve as well as learn better ways to advocate for ourselves. If we are here at this point, the past is behind us now.
The future is ahead and if the midway between yesterday and tomorrow is now; then the question becomes what are we going to do with this moment.
We have already experienced the past and as a result, we already know that the past is an unchangeable item. There is no way to relitigate what we said or did. There is no way to regain what is unalterably gone; therefore, if all we have is now – than it looks like now is a good time to look at what needs to happen so we can keep moving forward.
We can start by defining our triggers. These are the items that set us off and distract us from our goals.
We can list the details that bring us back to problematic thinking.
Any time I think about a conversation with an ex, I find myself rethinking and rehearsing the conversation because I wished I could have said “this” instead of “that!”
This disturbs my energy and next I find myself taking on the emotions of an old conversation that is no longer happening.
Solution: Replace thoughts with an opposite action. Find a beneficial distraction and allow this to become a replacement.
If anxiety is high, we can be mindful of our consumption. Case in point; I personally do not drink coffee when my anxiety is at full speed.
List our intimidations to keep us honest and aware of what stands in our way.
We can list our goals and our plans and the strategies we’ll use to achieve them – and, if necessary, we can change this at any time. We can advance or improve or if we need to go back to the basics, we can do this at any time.
This is the path to our best possible potential.
I invite us to take a pause today. Think about this.
Think about this simple question: Do you love your life?
If the answer is yes – then good!
If the answer is no – then the question comes to what can we do to improve?
Lastly, what steps are you willing to take?
If you know what to do but you struggle to do this, then ask yourself why?
What’s holding you back?
If you can answer this, then you can find the path which turns your obstacles into an opportunity.