What people don’t seem to understand most is that compulsion defies logic. It defies sanity. Compulsion is what makes an otherwise unthinkable idea become thinkable. But there’s more to it than this.
It’s like this:
There is this little tiny voice, which speaks in the third person. It piques interest, like a diversion, and then exploits the ideas of a ongoing compulsion. Some have called this voice, “The monkey on my back,” and some have call compulsion “Diseased thinking,” and me, I say it’s the beast in me. And the beast in my knows me well. Continue reading
I was never one to enjoy being along. Perhaps, this was because I couldn’t stand my own company but nevertheless, I found myself alone, high as could be, often times wondering what my life would have been like if I just turned right instead of left.
I was in my bedroom and I could feel something terrible coming for me. I knew there was something on the way but like a child with his under-the-bed monster, I had no idea what dangers awaited me.
I weighed next to Continue reading
I agree when you tell me life is a journey. Along the way, we learn about various disciplines of thought. We go through different phases of our character, we shed our skin as we grow to evolve and we encounter different experiences. We meet different people with paths that match our own; in some cases, we part ways, sometimes we split temporarily and then we reconnect at another point in time. We run parallel with other people living their life, and sometimes, we overlap, somehow cosmically, and we find ourselves back where we began in an almost deja-vu state. We move and we grow and we go on our own way. Then suddenly, almost miraculously, we come to the understanding that we always had exactly what we needed and that everything we ever wanted was always right there, right in front of our very own eyes. Continue reading
It was my last day on the farm. I was about to embark on a new journey and about to enter into a new, unknown chapter. It was a morning like any other. Like usual, the sun came up over the mountains the same way it did for the 11 months of my stay. I was a dorm supervisor. I was a leader and senior member. I was someone with a respected name and position, a friend to many, and a brother to some. It was strange to think how this would be the last morning I woke up in the dorm. This would be the last time I had breakfast with my housemates. This would be the last time I had to answer to the daily regiment and follow the house rules. It was strange to think that after this morning, I would be released to a Continue reading
It was long ago but then again, long ago is where all of our old memories come from. We were much younger, of course. And this was me. I was young, crazy, and wild, which, with all three ingredients being equal, the combination was dangerous. I was one of the loud ones from the town. I was one of the mischievous and the troubled, anxious to live as fast as I could, and ambitious to dare it all and defy the odds. And his was fun to me. It was fun to defy the Continue reading
The sameness between most is the attitude you see in any punk kid off the street. They all think they have it. They all think they’ve found the edge, which makes them an outlaw of some kind or a gangster in their own mind. And you can tell when the attitude is real or just an act from a rookie. You can tell by look in their eyes and the things they say.
It goes back to an old saying about tough guys which says, “Those that do, don’t and those that don’t, do.” What this means is a tough guy never has to warn anybody.
A gangster doesn’t have to brag or draw attention to himself; instead, the real outlaw sits in silence enjoys the wealth of his anonymity. The real ones are the ones you would never know were Continue reading