A quick tip . . .

This is easier than you think . . .
People ask if there’s a secret to being helpful. The truth is there is no secret. There are natural ingredients that we have as people which, perhaps, not everyone is as in tune with this. But still, we all have the ability to listen. We all have the need to be heard. We have the need to be understood and the desire to be acknowledged. 

Years ago, I was part of a grassroots program that worked with people on a peer-to-peer level. This idea was sweeping our nation and rather than have conversations with an unnecessary level of authority, instead, we promoted personal interaction. The initiative was for a recovery program that noted a systematic level of success
But why?
Professionals have been working on finding ways to help people live, think, feel and work better. Yet, the answer to this equation was not from someone with degrees on the wall but instead, the operating change that helped people connect was a simple plan – or better yet, the plan was so simple that the idea was simply unheard of.
Rather than inundate people with information or tell them what they needed to create their best changes, the goal was to “meet them where they were at” and promote the changes to come from within.
For example:
Let people talk. Let people be heard. Let them speak to someone without the threats of hierarchy or authority – and rather than face judgments for their ideas, thoughts or challenges, allow them to find the appropriate resources and find outlet with a peer who can help sponsor change and support growth.

The secret to helping people is there is no secret.
However, the ingredients are as follows:
This includes –
Part caring
Part listening
Part support and part promotion

“We can do this together,” are great words to hear, especially when it seems like you’re going at it alone
And let’s see . . .
What else?

Let’s add part patience
Part understanding
Part asking questions
Part understanding that we have to listen to the answers
This means part listening to listen
and not listening to respond.
Let’s add part love
Part consideration with a sprinkle of generosity and some flakes of charity.

Other ingredients include:
Time
Drive
Desire
Soul and spirit
What else?
Oh, yes –
We need to understand the blossoms of someone’s success can often be suffocated by the weeds in our personal garden. This is the blossoms of our hopes and of our dreams. This is the flowering of our possibilities and opportunities.

This is the soil in which we grow our personal and interpersonal gardens and with all of the above, we can starve the weeds and nurture the fruits of our livelihood.
We find that personal weeds starve us from the nutrients we need to grow, be, think, do and create. However, if we help to enrich the soil in each other, we starve the weeds that kill us and promote the growth that protects our personal gardens.

I have listened to people discuss ways to help or “fix” a person; however, the idea of something being “wrong” with someone is a personal construct.
Remember, we all have our own biases. If we want to help a friend or someone we care about, we have to put our biases to the side and understand that the conversation is not about “us” at all. 

It’s not hard to help someone. Just take the list above and add some kindness to it and watch . . .
You’ll be amazed at how helpful you can be.

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