I think there needs to be a new way to address our oppositions. In fairness to us and in fairness to those around us, I think we have to understand what our opposition is.
Is this really a threat?
We need to understand how our opposition affects us. More importantly, we have to understand why our opposition affects us. Is this real, or, is this something more internal with a deeper meaning?
The truth is there will always be someone opposed to us and our ideas. There will always be someone looking to pull somebody back, like crabs in a bucket, and there will always be someone there with a quick word and a sharp smile to cut people down. There will always be someone eager to discredit someone. And there will always be someone looking to say, “See? I told you so!” when we fall flat on our face.
The idea of opposition is someone or something against or opposed to us. This can be a person. This can be circumstantial. Our opposition can be situational; however, in most cases, our opposition is us.
This is left up to us and our interpretation. In most cases, our opposition is just another word for our distractions—and let’s face it; it’s easy to be distracted.
Life comes with complications. No one gets it. Everyone has an opinion. Everybody has a suggestion, which is fine and great, but yet, in the meat of dilemma, it amazes me the way people view their oppositions and how we pick and choose what we listen to with selective hearing.
I have watched people deny help from wholehearted people seeking to do wholehearted good. But yet, in the same regard, I have watched some of the same people place their faith in others that would literally sell them poison just to support their own agenda.
Why is this?
I have seen people become so addicted to their agenda that they will accept lies as fact because the lies will support their agenda.
I have been to hospitals and emergency rooms and heard the screams of patients that shout, “Get me outta here!” and meanwhile, if they leave, the patient would suffer more, or worse, the patient could actually die. And, in some of my cases, some of the clients I visited did, in fact, eventually die.
I am thinking about the difference between pride and ego. Our ego is the perception of self; this is us. This is the way we see us. This is where the wall comes from, which we build to protect us from exposure. This is our inner narrative.
Pride, however, is subtly different. I have been told that pride is a sin but I have also been told to learn how to take pride in myself. I was taught that I should never be too proud, but then I was told to take pride in my work.
So, where is the difference?
The difference is the burden of self. I can pride myself upon the way I treat people. I can pride myself on the way I work and the ethics I have; however, I cannot be so proud that I place myself as better than or above because this is where pride comes before the fall. Healthy pride is the understanding of humility. This sin, however is consumed with self-importance.
Ego is a machine. Ego is the machine that points our opposition. Ego is the machine that declines help from wholehearted sources and accepts the help from any direction supports the agenda.
It doesn’t matter about right or wrong—ego only cares if it gets what it wants. There can be no opposition. There can be no threat of rejection, and if there is, there needs to be an immediate plan of defense and self-preservation.
Most of our
arguments stem from ego. Most of our struggles with pride is when we are
misguided by our perception of self, and should something come to threaten or
oppose our comforts—then we feel the immediate need to defend ourselves.
The question remains: why?
Why are we threatened by opposite opinions of different ideas? Why do we close ourselves off from new ways of thinking? Where is the threat? We seem to attach ourselves to specific dogmas and close ourselves to anything else. But why?
Why is it that we have to argue everything from politics to religion to medicine to common courtesy and relationships? Why is it that we hold our agendas so tightly? Is this really about right or wrong?
The reason is ego.
We all have a common need, which is the need to be right. No one wants to be wrong. Nobody wants their point of view taken away; however, for some reason, people are easily threatened by opposing views.
I came up with something I call “the Born Again” theory. I came across this idea while working with a few new friends that were born again in the face of their religion.
I was fine with their choices and beliefs. I enjoyed our conversations; however, there was something I noticed, which is something I noticed with other people as well.
In the instance of the born again, I noticed that when I asked a question about their beliefs or proposed a thought that might oppose their beliefs; the conversation became heated. In some cases, the conversations became angry. But why? I did not threaten them or their practice?
Why did the scale of the conversation escalate?
I am writing to you now in the loft of my home. I know this is my home. I pay the bills for it. I have a mailbox in which I get my mail. I know the bank might think otherwise about my home if I forget to pay my mortgage, but for all intents and purposes; this is my house.
I know that it is currently raining. I know the current time is 6:30am. It is somewhat cool outside and closer to cold. The sky is beginning to show a semblance of light. I can see these things and know they are fact.
However, if someone would come along and tell me, “No,” would I be mad or argue about this?
I am in my sleep gear, which is a pair of blue pajama pants and a white, long-sleeved shirt. If someone came to me and argued that my shirt is actually blue and my pants are actually white, would I argue back? Or, would I just write them off as crazy?
Chances are, I would offer them a correction about my sleep gear but if they continued to argue, I would write this off and say, “Well, that’s them,” and go on about my day.
However, if I did not have full-faith in my point then I would take to debating back and forth. If I felt insecure and felt the need to defend my position, then yes, perchance, the conversation might turn heated.
I call this my “Born Again” theory because this is the fragility of ego.
This is the concerned effort to hide the honest facts about the doubt in my faith.
“I have to be right!”
My way “Has to be” right.
What an incredible burden to put on one’s self.
If I believe in something then I truly believe; however, if I have doubt, and if I find myself shaky or insecure on my point, then I looked to defend myself.
In fact, I am most aware of my oppositions in whichever form they present themselves when I unsure or insecure, or more to the point, I am most aware of my oppositions when I find or feel doubtful and when my agenda is threatened, which is also another way of saying, “I might not get my way.”
Ego is a child. Ego is a voice.
Ego is this thing in us that shouts and screams, “Don’t let them treat me this way.”
Ego is a little child that wants its cookie.
Ego is the scream for vengeance, when in fact, ego is just this thing inside of us, afraid to be wrong, afraid to be exposed, to be hurt, and afraid that someone or something might take advantage of us, or worse, cancel out and change our agenda to give us something we don’t want.
Ego is also the cause of our uptight lives and the reason why people will not accept help or allow someone a minute of time because above all, ego does not want to be wrong or questioned. This is when we find ourselves in the face of opposition. This is when pride can be deadly and the focus revolves around self-importance instead of understanding humility.
There is no one opposed to me. There is no one opposed to you either. Even if there is, so what? The only power my opposition will ever have is the power I give them.
Therefore, going forward, I have to realize my only opposition is me. Anything else is just inconsequential. To overcome opposition is to overcome myself. This is to understand me, my place, and my ability. And the same thing goes for anyone else.
Eventually, I grew tired of thinking about everything that opposed me. Whether it was people, places, or things —eventually, I realized that in order for me to have the life I want, I needed to rethink my plans and focus on the road ahead of me because if oppositions are just distractions then how am I ever going to satisfy my agendas if I am always distracted?