Deep Down Within Us All

There is something inside of each and every one of us. This is more than blood and bones. This more than the lungs we breathe with and the muscles that help us move. There is a soul within each of us.

There is a principle of life, thoughts, actions, desires and the freedoms we strive for. There is a separable existence to us all, which is more than our body. This is us. This is our true core.

This is the spirit and the seat of our true self, our sentiments, our inner being, and when disembodied, this is the part of us that lives on after our body is laid to rest.

This is far bigger than we realize. This is more than basic psychiatry 101. There is a life within us all that needs more than just food and water. Same as fire needs oxygen, heat and fuel, our soul needs desire, vision and action.

Think of it this way:
A fire cannot exist without oxygen, heat or fuel. And neither can we.
Our soul needs substance. We have to feed ourselves dreams and allow ourselves a vision. We have to give us the permission to act and to create our dreams to make them eventually come true.

A soul’s right to breathe is essential to a life’s right to happiness. Without this source of energy, life is not living. Instead, life without living is only existing, which can seem to be pointless.

There is an age old question that dates back to our childhood. The answer to this question follows us to the here and now in adulthood.
The question is “Why did you do that?”
As kids, we would say, “I don’t know?”
But what about now?

There is a connection to our behavioral health that links us to our thinking, feelings and behavior. There are times when we are not at our best. There are times when we feel desperate for something. We have a need or a thought or a want that contributes to our desire, but moreover, there are fears and insecurities that suggest we might not ever reach our dream — so we react.

There is a reason why we behave the way we do. There is a pathology to everything we do. There is a science to us all that digs deep into the truth of our soul.

Why are we afraid?
The answer is here.

Look at bullies for example. Why would someone treat people this way? Why would someone receive joy by hurting someone else?
Where does something like this come from?
Put simply, happy people do not bully people.

There is a science to everything and by understanding this science, we can understand our behaviors. By understanding our subconscious programming and our biases, we can understand why we act and react the way we do.

There is this spirit to us all that only wants to play. We only want to be happy, to be content and satisfied. This is common.

There is a place in me which I see as a big field with rolling hills. The grass on the field is tall and the color of wheat. I envision myself here in the early months of autumn. The field is lined by the woods, which represents the unknown section of my doubts and fears. But yet, I am not afraid of the woods when standing in the pasture. The woods can be a dark place but the fields are youthful to me.

I see this place in my dreams sometimes. I see how the wind sweeps through the grass and I am reminded of an afternoon from my teenage years. This memory comes from a time when although life at the moment was tumultuous, there was this moment, which was like a breath of fresh air — or moreover, the moment was food for my soul that allowed me to breathe freely. 

I have dreams of this place from time to time. This is where my truth lives. This is where I am free. I am free to enjoy the scene. I am free to laugh or walk or feel the wind spill across my face. I am free to look up and have the sun touch my face beneath a clear blue sky.

I envision this place when times are tough . . .

I had a discussion with a young girl about a word that everyone uses. We all use this word, and yet, the definition changes between us. I asked the girl if she had ever heard the word depression? And for the record, this was not a clinical conversation. This was not to treat or diagnose or to decipher between situational or clinical disorders and mental illness. But the question still stands.

Understanding the parts of our thinking that limit our soul is what enables us to identify our restrictions so at last, our soul can breathe freely without any restrictions. Plus, how can anyone improve if they cannot identify the roots of what they look to change.

I used to run away a lot when I was a boy.
But why?
If you asked me why, I’d have probably told you, “I don’t know.”
I used to find myself in all kinds of trouble.
But why?
If you would have asked me then, I would have told you the same answer.
“I don’t know.”

The truth is maybe I didn’t know. Or, maybe I couldn’t understand. More accurately, the reason why I’d say, “I don’t know,” is because I never knew the language or the words to describe how I was feeling.
All I knew is that I couldn’t breathe freely.

There are ideas that come with too many questions. We overthink and we become overly concerned. We forget sometimes that no matter how old we are, there is still a kid inside, hoping to find that sense of freedom and yet, scared as hell that freedom is only a fairytale.

The truth is we all want the fairytale.

I asked about the word depression and the common answer is “Someone that is sad all the time.”
What if I were to say this is untrue or not entirely true?
What if this was only accurate for some but not all?
What if depression to me is only depression to me and to you the word has an entirely different meaning?

My best description of depression as I see it is the need to reach out and touch something, but yet, no matter how hard we try, the objects we desire are always just out of our reach. And sure, we can almost touch it; maybe we can graze our fingertips and almost feel it, but try as hard as we will, no matter what, we just can’t reach it.

Depression is being in a roomful of people and laughing along but yet, for some reason, there is an idea of detachment because jokes are simply not as funny. Colors are not as vivid and there is something restricting us; there is something constricting around our soul, which prevents us from breathing, like, “Ahhh,” and feeling comfortable.

There is something in us that is more than blood and bones. There is something more to us than the air we breathe or the muscles we use to stand or walk. There is a heart within us all that does more than beat the blood that moves through our body. This heart is our soul. This is our well-being. This is our desire. This is the fire we have inside which needs oxygen, heat and fuel because the fire inside us cannot burn unless it is properly fed.

There are different types of wellness. There is environmental wellness. There is financial wellness. There is emotional, physical and spiritual wellness. All of which connect to behavioral wellness. The key to behavioral balance is found in the balance of our personal trinity, which are thought, feelings and behavior.

Understanding why we behave and how we react is the key to any sense of improvement. Otherwise, the answer never changes.

Why is your life this way?

I don’t know . . .

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