There is a quote I think about from Charles Bukowski that says, “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
I think about this quote sometimes.
I think about the times I’ve gone crazy. Then I think about the times when I felt crazy. I think about the hard times and the desperate times. I think about the times I found myself on the poor end of bad decisions.
I think about the times I found myself in the worst places. I think about the jail cells. I think about the office visits of authority figures and the jobs I lost as a result to my behavior or performance. I think about being a divorced dad.
The idea is to overcome adversity,
which is something I understand.
But to overcome adversity,
I must first understand
what adversity means.
There are times when the world turns and for the minute, everything is still. The moment could be crucial or even simple but either way, in the moment, thoughts can be heavy or even gentle. The sky is a large, overhead screen, like a portal to an inestimable version of what we call Heaven. The clouds drift. The wind blows and the sunlight filters down from the sky.
Years ago, we were sitting in the waiting area at an airport and the flight was hours late. I was listening to the nearby passengers on their cell phones. They were arguing out loud about the delay. I was delayed as well —only, the delay was not so bad for me.
Of all things, first and foremost, then first and foremost, I cannot be afraid to step up and rise to the occasion. I cannot afraid or too intimidated to try. I cannot be held down or “held in,” in the sense that I give in to my fears or my doubts, which essentially turns inward, against me, and causes me to shut down or emotionally implode.
I cannot be afraid to fail. I cannot give in to fear. In fact, i cannot even regard these things because of all things, if I am to do anything then I have to do everything I can to be sure that I have done my best.
I have to lay everything out there. Risk it. Do it. By any means necessary.
I am part of a Monday—Friday life in which, come Monday, I am on a bus from a street near my home and heading into New York City to earn my living and pay my bills. I do this for the same reason as most people. I want to have a certain kind of life. I want nice things. I have to drive so I need a car. I need insurance. I need to invest and spend wisely; otherwise, it becomes hard to have financial stability I hope to achieve.
I think there needs to be a new approach in the way we deal with things. I think we need to change our way of questioning the world and trying to find answers to questions that make no sense.
Many ask the question, “Why?” as if there could be a simple answer to life’s complex things. People ask “Why?’ about the tragedies that have no explanation and could never be explained. We ask why but oftentimes the answers have nothing to do with logic. And yet, there we are, all of us are still asking the question, “Why?”