I have been part of what’s called the working world for more than three decades. To some people, this is a lifetime. To some, I’m still young in the game and wet behind the ears.
Of course, three decades can sum up to the simple equation of thirty years. But more to this is the value of what I’ve learned. More to it is what I’ve seen because, in my eyes, I have seen the best and the worst in this world.
Thirty years is a long time.
I have gone through different versions of myself. I have lived and grown. I have come to an understanding of what I can, can’t or will and will not do.
Over the years, I’ve adjusted and adapted to my surroundings. I have learned new trades and changed the direction of my professional career.
I say this and then again, I’ve had jobs that were either dead-end or, if nothing else, was only a job with no hopes for a future.
Thirty years and, yes, I have worked bad jobs with good people and good jobs with bad people. I have seen what happens in the presence of both poor and great leadership. As well, I have seen what happens when we fail to step up or look to reach the next level. I’ve seen the results of what happens when we sink to the idea that “this is it’ and that’s all there is.
I can say that I’ve seen what favoritism does and how nepotism can kill the spirit of the team. Also, I have seen what happens when people reach their limit and rather than give in, I’ve seen what happens when people decide to become their own hero and save their own lives.
I’ve seen people realize their worth. Rather than argue, they chose to go elsewhere and seek a better life for themselves.
Thirty years and yes, I have watched the world go by. I’ve watched years peel from the calendar. I’m not as young as I used to be. Then again, no body is.
I’ve seen people come and go. I’ve watched young people grow. I’ve been at retirement parties and seen the look on people’s faces, just before they take the next step and open up a new chapter in their life.
This has always been curious to me. This has always been interesting because who knows what comes next?
Who knows who they are when all of this changes? What happens when the place we’ve gone to or the job we’ve worked and the life we’ve lived is all about to change?
I am a person who has worked at bad jobs and, in the meantime, all I could do to keep from burning out was look at the clock and count the remaining hours until it was quitting time.
I recognize where I chose to stay and how the reason I balked was because of my fears. As a direct result of my thinking, I can see why I stayed where I was.
Yes, I’ve sat behind desks and wished that I was someplace else. I’ve had bad bosses and worse, I’ve had terrible bosses who were evil-minded and just plain ugly.
I’ve worked for bosses who looked to hurt people and yes, I’ve had bosses who ruled through intimidation or ran their practice like a dictatorship. I’m sure we’ve all seen this at some point.
Some people see this and they stay.
But why?
I am not too blind to see the crookedness of the games which people play in the workplace. I understand what the word “kickback” means and I’ve seen my share of shakedowns and scams. I’ve also had the experience of reading about people in the paper and thinking to myself, “Holy shit . . . I know that guy.”
I have worn both collars, which are the blue and the white. I understand the difference between a job that requires me to roll up my sleeves and interact with the dirtiest kinds of muck and slop.
I’ve worked in sewage ejector pits, in pump rooms, engine rooms. There are times when I’ve had to break open walls and cut into drain lines with the foulest stench that stays in your nostrils.
I’ve worked in the kind of soot and filth that takes days to wash off. Also, I’ve worked in the office suites and the corporate sections. I’ve seen the country club leadership and the club ties and button wearing members of the elite establishments. I’ve worked at jobs that require a manicured presence and a neat appearance.
Enter my life now, as it is and where I am –
I am a worker. I am up before the sun on a daily basis. I work on my journals. I work my day job, which is intended to pay the bills yet I work another job, which is different and separate. This is the job that pays my heart. I am on both sides of the collar which, again, I work with both the white and blue collars. I have gone to work in a shirt and tie, only to change into a uniform to work my engineer’s shift and then change again to head downtown and pull off my trick as a presenter and professional coach.
I am thinking of the word dignity. I am thinking of the words optionality and sustainability. I’m thinking of the word sanity; hence, since this is about the rebirth of sanity, I’m thinking about the work we put in and the reasons behind it.
I’m thinking about the difference between working for a living and working for the options to have the life we want to live. Really, the only difference with this is summed up in one word.
That word is decision.
What causes someone to decide to face their life or their fears? Instead, what causes people to grind and live lifelessly?
Or, wait –
What causes someone to submit to a life that they’ve adapted to? Without any hints of improvements or promotions or in the settlement of nothing else but more of the same, what causes someone to allow themselves to be nothing more than a piece of driftwood that’s been washed ashore?
Years back, I used to brave a long commute.
I’d arrive in New York City’s Pennsylvania Station and then I’d get on either the A or the E train and then I’d exit near 57th Street.
I walked to the building where I was employed. All the while, I regretted this trip. I regretted every minute.
I hated this place. I hated my existence. I hated the boss who, in fairness, had his own bouts to deal with. So, in all honesty, we were two people that did not belong in each other’s company,
at least not then.
I was too immature and too inexperienced for this position. So in fairness to him and to remove any substance of slander, the job needed someone with more seasoning and that wasn’t me.
I remember this was before the cell phone blitz took hold and while many people had them, most people did not.
As I smile while reporting this, I recognize how long ago this was. I recognize the generation gap when I say, I used to call my job from a pay phone on the street.
I endured the bitch of my commute and when approaching the building; either it was the anxiety of what was to come or the hopeless feel of such a dead-end, or uninspiring environment took over.
I’d reached the corner where I could see the tall glass building which was dead-center in Midtown, Manhattan. I’d put my quarter in the coin slot, dialed the number of the building office and I’d call in sick or use some excuse as to why I couldn’t make it in.
I have seen people who fail to care or simply do nothing other than the absolute minimum. I’ve watched people burn themselves at the fingers while burning the candle at both ends and still try to hold the light.
I’ve seen people take on more than they should. I’ve seen people who look to be the hero which, at the same time, I’ve seen this cost them more than their paychecks could ever afford.
Someone once told me, “Don’t be a hero.”
“Don’t go falling on your sword either.”
I remember someone once told me, “Pay yourself first.”
I have worked with all types of people. I have worked with people who come from humble backgrounds, or with people who were raised in other countries and who came here with absolutely nothing but the clothes on their backs.
I have worked with people who lived at modest addresses and who brought their lunch to work. Even more, I’ve worked with people who ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at lunch, just to have something in their stomach, and just so their kids and family could eat better than they do.
I know people who work for a modest salary yet each of their kids are college educated. I can say that I know people who come from this background whose family had very little money and they studied and worked hard. They learned and they moved and they created a life for themselves that is beyond a father’s wildest dream.
I’m sure of this. In fact, I know I am right about this.
I have also seen people who have absolutely everything. I have worked with people who sit at desks and make decisions all day long and I can say their hollowness and shell of a life is less than desirable to me.
Since this is Phase Two and we are talking about the rebirth of our sanity and this part is about the action it takes to create change or improve our lifestyle, then it is important that we understand the value of our actions. Also, it is equally as important to the value of our thinking.
If the time to act is now, then now is the time to act smart.
Now is the time to recognize our worth and our value. But also, now is the time to work towards a goal. Now is not the time to be chained to a desk or to a life that is either unfulfilling or uninspiring.
No, that time is in the past.
Now is not the time for a dead-end job or a dead-end life.
No, that time is gone too.
Instead –
Now is the time for the perfect combination to take place.
This is when our inspiration leads us to motivation. This is what drives us to the stages of preparation and next, like engines taking over, the ignition sparks and now is the time for implemention of our plans and to see them come into fruition.
Now is the time to act and act smart.
The time for limitations is at its end.
There are no more excuses. Now that we know we want more and now that we want better for ourselves, we acknowledge that we want a better life.
We want to create a stage of balance. We want to find our homeostasis; whereas, now that we understand life is not about perfection, we can realize that our lack of perfection does not lead us to an imperfect life.
If all we want is to be happy or to find our spot in this world, and whether we are young or old or whether we have years ahead of us, or even if we are closing in on the twilight of this adventure called life; now is the time to act and act smart.
Nothing is worth losing this understanding.
I have watched as people worked their entire lives away and meanwhile, they face their retirement without a plan and in poor health. I have seen people work their entire life and they never had the chance to enjoy what they work for.
I have seen people be so loyal to everyone and everything else that they forgot to pay themselves first. They forgot to treat themselves as their most valuable commodity and that’s a shame.
I have seen people endure their own misery because, to them (or at least at the time), there was no other choice and no other hope. All they could do was work. All they could do was “push product” so-to-speak.
I have run myself in a thousand different directions yet I completed nothing. I accomplished close to nothing because the only thing I accomplished was the idea that I burned myself out.
There’s value to this because at least I learned something –
I think of my Father and the look on his face after he came in the front door after a long day’s work. I think of the parents who missed their child’s lives and I think of the people who worked and slaved and who endured all too much. But to what avail?
Where was there passion? When did this pay off for them?
Did this pay them at all?
Was providing for their family enough?
Was this a worthwhile sacrifice?
I think of my friend who brought in PB&J sandwiches and did what he could to make sure his kids ate well. He made sure their clothes fit right and their life was good. I think of him because he was happy. He liked what he did. He understood the value of his work. But more, he understood the value of his time.
He understood the day he stopped taking care of himself was the same day that everyone who depended on him would have to suffer as well. Sure, he sacrificed. But he never sacrificed himself.
Not once.
We can’t work so hard that we burn ourselves out.
But let’s face it, there are times when the work is piled high. The inbox is full. The emails are literally endless, superfluous and yes, I’ll say this here – half of these emails could have been avoided with a two-second phone call. But who uses the phone anymore?
Anyone?
Then again, nothing is ever two seconds which is why people type a quick text or shoot a quick email because, to them, this is just easier. Also, this becomes almost one-sided and impersonal. This can also be mindless and maybe that’s easier than interacting with someone.
I have come to the understanding that nothing is worth my sanity.
Nothing is worth risking either my physical or mental health.
Like you or anyone else in this world, I have responsibilities. I have bills to pay.
I have to pay taxes. I have to pay for gas and all the other bells and whistles that come with regular, everyday life.
At times, I am at an impasse.
At times, yes, I am frustrated.
I’m tired and overworked.
I have bitten off more than I can chew and yes, I’ve done this more than once.
However, in the rebirth of my sanity, I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer looking to work for a living. Not anymore.
Now, I work for optionality.
I am not working to pay a mortgage. But instead, I am only considering what pays my heart and what pays me more is that now that I’ve chosen the actions it takes, and now that I have chosen to implement my plans and to see them through, and now that I have chosen to act now, as in immediately, and act smart, I have finally reserved the right to claim my direction in this life.
I reserve the right to be satisfied and to be happy, to rest well and to wake up where I want to be.
I reserve the right to act now and to act smart.
I reserve the right to act accordingly – so that nothing will outweigh me or hold me down because now that I’ve chosen this, I have chosen to act on my behalf. I’ve chosen to pay me first and to treat myself as my most valuable commodity. There’s no more codependency. There’s no more negotiating my terms or compromising my worth or value.
But more, there’s no more working myself to the bone and looking around and thinking to myself, “is any of this really worth it?”
The only thing “worth it” is us . . .
And now that we know this, we can do anything we want.
All it takes is a decision.
So?
Decide already . . .
The Written Addiction 