It is clear now that no matter how we try, there is no getting away from ourselves. Since this is true and since it is also true that we never speak to anyone more than we speak to ourselves, then we have to be more than kind. No, now is the time for us to inspire our own greatness.
Now is the time for us to be heroic and to release the hero from within. Now is the time to prioritize ourselves and give ourselves the permission to let ourselves go and set us free.
Let’s take a minute and forget about the problems at hand. Let’s put our defects to the side and stop the motion of degrading ideas that teach us about our worst or negative qualities. Let’s switch gears for a moment. Let’s take a break from the outside world and step away from the common opinions or the intrusive advice, which seems to be plentiful around us. Instead, let’s change the way we prioritize ourselves.
But wait . . .
Where does this begin?
The answer is something we’ve been going over from the very first page of this journal.
The answer is within.
Everything we do is done to honor a want, a thought, a need, an opinion, a feeling or an emotion.
Everything we do is done to honor something which means if we are going to honor anything, we need to place honor where it belongs the most.
We need to honor ourselves first.
Whatever we do from this point forward, we have to begin with us. This means we have to understand our math. We have to recognize our roots and as we have mentioned before in earlier journal entries, we have to understand that we are the square root to any and all of our equations.
Everything we do starts, ends and finalizes with us.
This begins at day break when we open our eyes and wake up and when we decide what we want the day to look like, or when we decide what we plan to do for ourselves, or when we plan out our day; whether this is for work or for pleasure, or if we have to interact with people we love or even if we have to interact with people who we would rather not deal with; our decision on how to proceed starts and ends with us.
We have to understand this because at the end of the day, just before we retire for the night; when we face ourselves in the mirror and see our reflection, we have to come to a constructive conclusion about our day. No matter what, since ours is the last reflection we see before we close our eyes and rest for the next day ahead of us, this is the most important account that needs to be settled at the end of each day.
There are four exceptionally powerful words that need to be said here.
Do it for yourself.
Whatever you choose to do or in whichever way you choose to mold your life, do this for you.
How you life from this point onward and when you choose to reach for success, do this for you.
Allow yourself to be the priority that places your happiness first.
It’s okay to do for others. It’s okay to share. It’s perfect to be kind and generous but please, I would like you to remember, generosity begins at home. This means generosity begins with you. So, before you decide to be so generous to others, ask yourself: where do I stand on my personal priority scale?
If we are talking about our best life and when we think about our rebirth of sanity, and when we take aim at reclaiming our life to build it into a brilliant future, ask yourself this question:
Where does any of this list fit on your scale of priority?
When thinking about your best hopes or when you think about your best possible scenario; and if you think about what you want your life to look like; and for the record, this can be your work life or your love life; or, this can be your social life or even more personal; this can be your internal life and to find a way to defend yourself from the internal self-talk and to defy your previous limitations that were either emotional or perhaps mental, physical or otherwise, where do you list your most desirable changes on your scale of priority?
Where do you place yourself in this world because if it’s not first and if you refuse to prioritize yourself, then understand no one else will either.
No one will prioritize you the way you need to prioritize yourself
No one . . .
So –
How do you care for yourself?
How do you value yourself and yes, my next question is if you are not your own top priority, and if you find your best health or your dreams or the wants and the important desires of your life are secondary, then what has to happen for this to change?
Ask yourself this.
What has to happen for you to become your top priority?
Also, when are you going to give yourself permission to become number one?
Let yourself rise.
Let yourself taste the rewards of going, being, doing and creating something for your life.
Do not give in to the internal critic or worry about distractions.
This might be as odd as a right-hander trying to use their left or a left-hander trying to write with the opposite hand.
But understand, that’s okay.
This might be hard to understand or uncomfortable in the beginning. But allow yourself to build.
Allow yourself to train and improve.
Allow yourself to fill the shoes you so richly desired to wear for so long and ask yourself the following:
When is it your turn to have the life you want to live?
Next, ask yourself this:
When are you going to give yourself the permission to make this so?
If we are talking about personal improvement or when we discuss transformational change and life-altering decisions; if we are looking to better ourselves and change our life, we have to understand where we list ourselves as a priority.
We have to know whether we put ourselves first or if we lack the sense of deserving to be first; then where do we place ourselves after that?
If this is so and if we are wallowing or drowning in the cesspool of emotional quicksand, then what has to happen for us to decide to free ourselves?
How can we be our own hero and rescue ourselves from an unwanted life?
Our actions speak volumes.
So, then let’s speak out.
Let’s take the chance to make ourselves the first choice. If we decide to give ourselves to someone or when we decide to act in a generous way, let’s remember that this is fine.
In fact, this is beautiful.
But let’s not forget our most beautiful equation of all.
Let’s not forget the most important and valuable piece of our personal equation which, at all times, is us.
Everything begins and ends with you.
This is you, every day.
Here it is, another morning before I wrap up this journal entry.
We are in this phase and at this point for a reason, which is to define ourselves, we have to also maintain and prioritize ourselves because no one else will do this for us.
I am about to face the day.
I am about to take care of the chores that need my attention. I am about to feed myself, both physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
But before I go on about my day, I have done what I needed to do to prioritize my dreams.
That’s what this is all about
First, I’ve come here to defy an internal voice which used to tell me that no one cares and no one will ever read this or that I’m “not good” or that “I’m just stupid.”
I have come here to defy the nonsense that I do not have the right to seek my best life or reach for my dreams.
But more –
I come here to connect with you and to reveal myself in any which way that I can.
I do this because so long as I do; and so long as I keep moving and working, and so long as I defy the narrative that used to fill me with doubt so that rather than act on the behalf of my insecurity; I have come here to allow my actions to rise to an occasion of greatness. Even if no one else sees this –
at least we see this.
I come here to find my sense of purpose and whether this coincides with anyone else’s picture of beauty or perfection has nothing to do with me.
Instead, I have chosen to make me the priority here.
I have told you that in my life, I’ve had to come to the decision to save my own life on a daily basis.
I have had to make a choice to fall in love with my life.
I’ve had to decide to act now, to move, to go and to do and to be the person I’ve always wanted to be because, otherwise, none of this will ever happen.
I have chosen to start my day like this – exactly like this because anything else is prison to me.
So rather than act as the prisoner and warden, I come here to liberate myself and allow me the chance to feel the surge of inspiration which is something I look to gain each morning and something I look to hold every day.
There can be no more settlements or secondary priorities.
No.
If I want to rebuild my sanity, then I have to claim my rights to sanity.
I have to do this because like I’ve said to you before, anything else –
Well, that would just be crazy.
So . . .
There’s no more running away
Only towards
From this day forward.
The Written Addiction 