The Rebirth of Sanity – Phase Four: Motivation

When it comes to beating oneself up, there’s a saying that goes, “it’s time to put the bat down.”
I agree. People beat themselves up far too much and far too long.
It’s time to set those bags down.
Better yet, when it’s time to talk about rebirth of our sanity or at least find our sanity and maintain this to the best of our ability, the next best move would be to eliminate our frustrations.
However, in all fairness, dealing with frustration is part of reality.
Reality is part of life; therefore, denying our reality has never helped our sanity in the first place.

So instead, prepare yourself.
Act accordingly.
Endure. Persevere.
These words are more than just words.
These are qualities. These are the ingredients that help us look for the flicker of light when all we see is darkness. This is what pushes us to make our own light or to seek the next best idea.
This can either open a new door or help us get up once more so that we don’t stay down or give in to the False Evidence Appearing Real, otherwise known as the acronym for FEAR.

Allow yourself to feel. That’s fine.
Allow yourself to think. That’s fine too.
Fighting with your thoughts and feelings is counter-productive.
Don’t hold onto this because this will then be the only thing you think and feel. So rather than dissect these things, allow them to move like traffic in a tunnel.
Let them pass. Let your thoughts and feelings happen. Instead of allowing them to dictate which way we go or how to navigate this ship, replace this with an action so redeeming, so undeniable that our spirit resumes and we find our second wind.

Allow yourself to understand that perhaps not all things come easy.
But then again, life is not easy.
No one ever promised you that it would be.

I came across an old journal entry the other day. I was digging through some of my older thoughts because I wanted to see where I was “then” as opposed to where I am “now.”
As for my approach and my intentions, these things are the same. As for my endurance, as for my stamina, and as for my determination and my personal strength, these things remain as a process to improve.
Progress not perfection.
That’s what I was told.

I have been growing and training on a daily basis. So in answer to the question as to whether I am the same or have I improved, of course, I’ve improved.
Of course, I am stronger now.
My fitness has become more accustomed to resistance training. I am physically stronger. I am physically different and, perhaps, I am even different on a cellular level. I am emotionally different; hence, i am emotionally stronger too. The fact remains that I am growing stronger every day because I work at this every day.
My forward motion has propelled me to a different level of awareness. Here at this station, which is where I am now, I am able to look back at the hardships and the slips and falls which I’ve endured throughout the years. I can see the so called rejection. I can see where the doors were slammed in my face. I can see the disappointments.
I am able to look back at what I have not only survived, but overcome. In addition to this, I am able to see that I was stronger than I thought. I was more capable than I believed and more resilient than I thought was possible.

I always go back to what my Mother used to tell me.
She’d say, “Son, no one ever promised you a rose garden.”
I get that . . .
I don’t know if this helped me. I don’t know if this frustrated me more than anything else. But for this entry, all I knew is that I wished things were easier.
I wished that I didn’t hurt as much as I did or that I wasn’t as intimidated by literally everything.
I wished I didn’t “feel” as much or understand the word “empathy” the way I do.
I wished I didn’t regret being me. But I did.
I was hurt. I was intimidated. I was tired and frustrated and weak at the time because, in my head, there was no option or possibility of relief.
There were only the uphill climbs in front of me.
There were only the obstacles and the problems.
That’s all I saw. Nothing else.

I was problem based. I was emotional.
I was frustrated.
This is enough to drive anyone crazy.

I came across this journal entry which I wrote a few years back.
I was in the middle of too many indecisions. And more, I was rethinking the choices I made which I had regretted for so many years; only to see them come to me again and I allowed fear to govern my freedom.
F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real
I was wondering what my life might have looked like if I turned right instead of left.
I was wondering where I’d be if I showed the daringness and the bravery to be true to myself.

The entry went like this:
I agree when you say, “It ain’t easy.”
But this is life.
And so it goes . . .

Things fall flat. Things go wrong.
Things didn’t work out and the phone didn’t ring.
You made plans but the day didn’t go that way..

So it goes . . .

You have a lot on your plate. Bills are due.
Boss is on your back. The world is a cold place and you don’t like your choices.
I get that but again –
So it goes . . .

You’re not sure what to do next. Your level of optimism is pessimistic at best.
Meanwhile, you can’t help but wonder why everything happens the way it does.
“Why me?”
Am I right?

You ask why this is happening. You clench your fists.
You snarl and clench your jaw and grind your teeth.
And of course  . . .
Someone is always around to give you that “Keep your chin up” conversation.
Someone is always looking to call the plays you should have done after the game is over.
There’s always someone out there to give you a therapeutic answer which, if we’re being honest, only makes you crazier.

The panic level is high. The anxiety machine is in the red.
You’re angry now. But tough shit . . .
This is life
And so it goes.

Living this way makes it impossible to do the next right thing.
I get that.
Attached to the outcome, it makes it impossible for us to focus on the effort.
(Believe me on this one)
Living this way is the easiest way to go crazy.

Life piles up on your shoulders and nothing stops.
No one pauses.
There’s no break in the clouds and there’s no warmth for the hand.

Either way, no matter how hard you try and fall, or no matter how hard you’ve been hit; and I mean this could be with anything too, but no matter how badly you want to call “TIME-OUT!” the clock keeps moving.
Life happens and the cruelty of motion can be cold and downright painful.

You lost your job?
So it goes.
You got your heart broken?
And what?
Someone stepped all over your dreams, smiled and then asked for seconds to see if you have anymore?
So it goes.

You fought hard. You fought long.
You reached for the sky and missed the whole thing.
So it goes.
You thought that you might have made it this time.
Right?
You thought that this time, for sure, everything was going to work out, that life was real this time and not just a dream and that your dreams were about to unfold; only, you showed up to the window to take off and the flight was already sold out.
Right?

So it goes.
Did you lose something?
Did you lose the love of your life?
Did you lose your family?
Did you find out how harsh life could be?
So it goes because no matter what happens, the traffic lights still work. The Belt Parkway still has traffic. The Railroad is still delayed. Los Angles is still where it’s at and the traffic there is more unbearable than hell on Sunday mornings.

The Harlem River Drive is crowded with traffic because of an accident on the other side of the road and, for some reason, everyone has the need to stop and stare, “just because,” and just to see how bad this is, which is only making you late and crazy because now the anxiety machine is taking a spin. Next, you’re thinking of all the irrational, made-up nonsense that could go wrong next.

It rains and it pours. Machines break at the worst times and just when you think the day is over, some asshole cuts you off on the parkway just to drive in front of you and go slower, as if this has to be intentional.

I swear life goes this way.

But so it goes, relentlessly and without apology.
Life happens with no regard for input.

So what do you do?
What do you say at times like this?
Do you curse the sky and shake your fists?
Do you wage war?
Do you give up?
Do you kick the dog or take this out on the next closest person to you?
Does this happen?
Sure, this happens all the time . . .

But so it goes, which means none of this makes anything easier.
Punching the wall either breaks the wall or your fist; in which case, all this means is when the wake is over, there’ll be more for you to fix.
This is life too. So, we can’t quit.
Besides, quitting becomes a habit and habits can be a bitch to beat.
We can’t live on the outcomes or worry if our results will never be enough.
So . . .
GET UP!

Stop. Make a change.
Turn the script around.
Limit the input on the people, places and things that drag you backwards. 

For example, I was told that my weight loss regimen was not going to work.
I was told, “You’re never going to lose weight like that.”
I lost 60lbs . . .

Keep going.
Even when it seems like you can’t take another step, keep going because you’ll never regret that you kept moving when you needed it most. But you will regret surrendering or quitting on yourself when you needed YOU most.

Change the voice in your head.
Say what you need to hear. Feel what you need to feel and in spite of whatever discomfort or pain, keep your stride because this is the same as keeping your dignity. 
Even if you don’t want to or even if you think you can’t do it, go anyway and if you get knocked back, then go out on your heels. But go out fighting against the weight that’s holding you back. 

Life itself is unemotional. Emotions are on us.
We either nurture the plan or we nurture the anxiety.
In which case, one option keeps us going.
The other option fails us with ideas of intimidation and irrational factors that wear us down –
or keep us stuck.

Do the next right thing.
Else, we’re stuck.
Else, we’re wondering when things will get better, or easier. If nothing else,
we wonder, “when is all this going to end?”
So it goes . . .
This is life.
I agree
it goes.
And so can we, if we choose to . .

I agree when you say, “It ain’t easy.”
But this is life.
And so it goes . . .

Things fall flat. Things go wrong
Things didn’t work out and the phone didn’t ring.
You made plans but the day didn’t go that way.

So it goes . . .

You have a lot on your plate. Bills are due.
Boss is on your back. The world is a cold place and you don’t like your choices.

I get that but again . . .
So it goes . . .

You’re not sure what to do next. Your level of optimism is pessimistic at best. Meanwhile, you can’t help but wonder why everything happens the way it does.
“Why me?”
Am I right?

You ask why this is happening. You clench your fists.
You snarl and clench your jaw and grind your teeth.
And of course  . . .
Someone is always around to give you that “Keep your chin up” conversation.
There’s always someone out there to give you a therapeutic answer that only makes you crazier.

The panic level is high. The anxiety machine is in the red.
You’re angry now, but tough shit . . .
This is life.
So it goes.

Living this way makes it impossible to do the next right thing.
Attached to the outcome, it makes it impossible to focus on the effort.
(Believe me on this one, I get it.)
Living this way is the easiest way to go crazy.
Life piles up on your shoulders and nothing stops and no one pauses.
There’s no break in the clouds and there’s no warmth for the hand.
Either way, no matter how hard you try and fall, or no matter how hard you’ve been hit; and I mean this could be with anything too.
You lost your job?
So it goes.
You got your heart broken?
And what? Someone stepped all over your dreams, smiled, and then asked for seconds?
So it goes.
You fought hard. You fought long.
You reached for the sky and missed the whole thing?
So it goes.
You thought that you might have made it, right?
You thought that this time, for sure, everything was going to work out right; that life was real and that your dreams were about to unfold; only, you showed up to the window and the flight was already sold out. Right?

This means there’s no more rehearsal conversations.
There’s no more preaching to the mirror.
There’s no more balking at the plans or canceling at the last minute.
You want it?
You want to think better, so you can feel better, so that you can perform better so that eventually, you can live better?
Good.
Then get up and make it so.

Life goes.
So will I
and so will you ~

Of course, life can be frustrating. And of course, it hurts sometimes. There are days when nothing seems to be favorable. I see no reason to deny this. I admit to this.
I just won’t live like this. And that’s what makes a difference.

There are times when we learn about betrayal. There are times when we wholeheartedly believe in the people around us, only to find out that what we thought was inaccurate and untrue.
This is why I side with you, every day, my truest soul.

There are times when you’re about to compete for the top role. There are times when you’ve studied and prepared and now that it’s showtime, in that moment, whether the wind was blowing from east to west or the outfit wasn’t a great fit for the crowd and no matter how prepared you were, something missed the mark and oops, it’s back to the drawing board.
This happens.

Better yet, this happens to everybody. The only difference is the ones who succeed and achieve are where they are for one, undeniable reason.
They never gave up. No one goes undefeated.
In fact, this is how winners are made.

They never stop reinventing themselves. They never quit.
No matter how big the loss might have seemed or how humiliating the so-called rejection might have been, true champions took the pain, endured, healed and then they showed up again the very next day.

There are no accidental success stories.
Success is intentional.
So is quitting.
I don’t intend to do that.

Failure is not as threatening as we believe it to be.
In fact, this is how we learn.
This is how we recognize our weakness, so we can strengthen them, so we can get back up and attack our life with the same zest, with passion, with fury, and even if we go after our happiness with vengeance, the best revenge is good living.
Better yet, the revenge that is better than this is the realization that we never gave up, no matter what. Whether we lost a pound or we hit our target and lost 30lbs, or whether we landed our dream job, or even simpler, whether we stood up when we thought that we couldn’t or got out of bed when our depression said we wouldn’t – the best revenge is to defy the personal odds that we believed in more than we believed in ourselves. Otherwise, revenge is a wasted energy because the best revenge is discovering you never needed revenge at all. You just needed to redeem yourself.

This is life.
And so it goes, which means “it’s go time.”
I love that saying.

Currently, the hour is early. The temperature is somewhere around 69 degrees.
The wind is light and the ground is wet from last night’s thunderstorms.
It’s Monday, which means we have one more shot.
So, let’s make it count.

Life goes.
So will I
and so will you
I promise . . . .