We are social creatures.
This means we gather and we flock. We find ourselves with groups and with people who either inspire or impose.
We encounter people who will lift us up when we are down and, at the same time, there are people who will prefer us this way. So, they might look to keep us there. Down and under foot. There are times when we find ourselves in moments that are about to embrace a new change. We are about to open a new chapter, looking ahead and facing forward.
There are moments when we look back at the chapter behind us and, yes, maybe we realize that the time took ran its course. Or maybe something changed. Maybe the reasons for the new moves are due to a hardship or an unfortunate moment or place of events. Maybe the reasons for the change are due to a hardship or a personal unfairness.
This happens.
Life is hard. Love is hard. But even more, relationships are hard and in the face of our brave new world and in the upcoming moments of new positions or in the unknown worries about a new location or even at minimum, in the bravery it takes to prepare for a new existence, of course, there will be times when this is hard.
There will be moments of grief. There will be moments of disbelief that this is happening, right here, and right now. But there is a future out there. There is a new way to go.
. . . looking ahead
. . . and facing forward
As to the flocks or the people we connect with and to those who we live with and fight with and to those who we hurt either unintentionally or in some kind of regrettable circumstance, and not to be forgotten, as for those who we care for, the facts of life are still true.
The fact is that all things do change.
Yet, here we are, still social, and still looking to find our common ground in this crazy place which I choose to call Project Earth.
Still, the truth remains that alone is a tough place to be.
This does not mean we have to stay this way.
This does not mean we have to compromise ourselves, just to be in someone’s company.
This does not mean that we have to be forced with someone or stay because the outer limits of our current situation are frightening or intimidating.
No, we can look ahead and be forward facing.
It’s true. Loneliness is a bitch.
It’s also true that everyone needs a home. Everyone needs a place to lay their head.
We need shelter from the storm. We need warmth.
We need a place to lay ourselves flat, and be still, and not worry about what lurks outside or what’s coming our way.
We need a refuge or a sanctuary of our own.
Everyone needs a place to rest. While I agree, the idea of a forever-home is optimal, this does not mean moving or changing your place of business or where you live is not an option to consider.
I write this to encourage us all. I write this because while the line has been drawn and since we’ve decided who we choose to keep in our lives, and who we need to separate from; I write this wholeheartedly with the hopes of healing for one and all.
I write this as a person who lives and breathes and certainly, I am a person of arguments and fallouts, breakups and separations. I write this as a divorced dad, estranged from certain family members due to fallouts or due to undefendable things, which were either committed by me or, at some point, it was decided that as people, we need to move on.
It is clear, however, that we all want love. We all want connection.
We want to live, love, laugh and learn.
We want to experience life. We want to go to new places and see new things.
And yes, the best part of this is that one day, we can share these great experiences with someone else.
We can say “Here, I want you to see this,” and mean it with all of our hearts.
I think, of course, that even though people come in and out of our life; and that even though downfalls will happen and breakups are either eventual or inevitable; it is within our power to exemplify our best possible nature. In which case, I mean that while friendships may end, our loyalty to our words does not have to betray our past confidentialities. While feelings change and resentments evolve, or if at all, when it comes to places in the heart, there is no reason to regret our life before. There is no reason to regret anything. There is only what’s behind us and the open road ahead.
This means –
. . . looking ahead
. . . and facing forward.
All things do change. This has been said by greater people than me. However, in the grand scheme of this so-called life and in search for our perfect surroundings, as beautiful as some things are, everything changes.
But that’s not a bad thing.
We need people.
I can see why this is true. I can see why together, we can gather more and collect more.
We can accomplish more.
We can learn more and live more and certainly, above all things, we can love more.
It is not beyond me to hurt or to mourn or to experience grief or loss; however, it is also not beyond me to create a new life and a new beginning so that in my new and upcoming future; I can find and create a new, upcoming life.
I can heal. I can regain my composure.
I can forgive. I can overcome.
I can circle back and look at things without regret or resentment.
I can still smile about old times and not think about the fallouts or the failures that took place.
I don’t have to connect with anger. I don’t have to be mad or mindful of what went wrong. But more, I don’t have to live in the past anymore.
(Or ever again.)
I can’t be worried about this nor can I worry about what happened because life evolves. Either we learn to evolve with it or, instead, we fall to the undertow of what took place behind us.
I don’t want that life.
And neither do you.
I was remembering someone who spoke at a eulogy.
He said “May the memories of love, which make you cry change and become the memories that make you smile.”
I will hold this thought. I will mind this quote and use this as a helpful suggestion.
I will honor my past and the people in it.
And so can you.
That’s fine.
But outside the door is a whole new world, just waiting to begin.
And that’s the world we want to focus on.
. . . looking ahead
. . . and facing forward
The past is gone.
Grief and misery will always be there. In fact, they’re always welcoming and looking to save us a seat.
But that’s not what we’re looking for.
Not us . . . So –
This is our new guideline.
This is part of our constructive, new beginning, and a new boundary, set is stone for us to honor, appreciate and admire.
There’s no looking back.
Only ahead
looking ahead
and facing forward
The Written Addiction 