I agree. Courage is important.
I agree that it takes courage to step forward or to step away from a person, place or thing.
I agree that sometimes, these changes we face and the choices we have to make are unfair. I also agree that when it comes to making a change or moving on or forward, it’s a brave thing to face the unknown.
It’s a brave task to go towards the mysteries with almost a defying sense of eagerness or zest for what’s to come.
I say that we can do this.
We can move. I say that we are free to change our direction and free to take on anything or to dare the odds.
All it takes is courage. (Right?)
The definition of courage is to do or to defy something that would be otherwise frightening. This means that in spite of the uphill battles; in spite of the fears or in spite of the odds against me, or without regard for the deception of my perception and the upcoming difficulties, regardless of what may come; courage is the ability to move ahead and take on the next big task.
This does not mean there is no fear. Not at all.
Fear is always around. In fact, I’m afraid now.
If we have to say the truth, I am petrified.
I’m afraid of so many things. I’m afraid I’ll never have the chance to pull off my trick.
I’m afraid of letting people down, including myself.
I’m afraid that I will be alone and somehow, I’ll be an outcast or shunned. Then, almost pitifully and sadly, I will have to resign to a dungeon which, to me, is a sense of loneliness and shame, exploited as a fraud and useless as a person. I have this fear.
Absolutely, I do.
By the way:
It takes courage to even dare the thoughts of what changes need to be made which means our bravery is innate. Bravery is within us all. Although, we tend to overlook this.
(I know, because I overlook this within myself all the time.)
This means we have the courage; however, there are times that we lack the plan or the strategy to move ahead. Our mind goes directly to panic mode. Next, our thoughts embellish our worst fears. Then the anticipation allows our imagination to run off in a thousand different directions. But that’s okay.
Courage is in us. It lives and breathes. It wishes for the light. It wants to explore. It wants to feel the birth of experience and to break from the chains or the mental prisons or the contaminants that would be best left behind us.
But be advised:
It takes courage to contemplate the changes ahead.
It takes guts to even think about this or to dare the moments when you’re thinking about what took place or what’s happened, or what we’ve lived through.
All of this is brave.
It takes courage to consider the changes that need to take place. It takes courage to consider the work ahead, even if the work ahead seems too great or the peak of the mountaintop is so high and the idea to reach it seems impossible – the fact that we even dared to think about these things and we chose to contemplate the strategy is far more brave than we give ourselves credit for.
We have bravery. We have the courage it takes to make the changes. We can rebuild our lives and recreate our world, like a puzzle, one piece at a time.
However, at the same time, I can understand that we have our own special brand of intimidation.
We have our anticipations which are often far worse than reality.
But still, the mind goes in different directions and our thoughts head off in a path towards irrational fear. So, we look for self-preservation and safety, which is true, even in unsafe times or places.
We want to be safe and protected so we tend to remain stuck instead of dare to change because the imagination of the unknown and the worry that says, “What if?” can be punishing and simply brutal.
I understand this . . .
Or, maybe this is just me.
Maybe this is subjective.
Or, maybe this is relatable.
At least, I think it is.
We can no longer go by a sense of win or lose. There’s no more pass or fail. There is only effort.
There is only movement.
We have to remove ourselves from the prideful challenges that come with ego.
We need to remove ourselves from the worries of how we look or what people think.
We have to remove ourselves from the rejective thinking (or the five fingers of) and to be clear, we have to find our way to the starting line. When we do, we cannot and will not give up until the race is through.
No matter what happens. No matter what place we are in the race; no matter who passes us or who we pass; we have to let go of the unnecessary and useless competitions that lead us to the ideas of failure.
The only failing consequence is when we are submissive to the intimidations that kept us still
(or stuck).
We have to understand our victories and the fact that we anted up and rolled the dice is a victory in itself.
We have to understand that the fact we stood up or the fact that we chose to dare instead of accepting more of the same and tolerating a life less-desired means that we are triumphant.
This alone is more brave than we could possibly imagine.
I was listening to a song this morning in which the lyrics say, “Time for me to fly.”
I thought about the freedom behind these words.
I thought about the ownership of this. I thought about the privilege and the prerogative and the absolute rush that comes with the decision to step away. This is when we decide to step away from either a person, place or thing.
Wait, there’s more.
I can understand the hardships and the sadness and the hurt feelings. I have caused these myself
and for this, I am sorry.
I can understand the internal and the emotional conflicts or the upcoming dilemmas which are unfair to say the least.
I can understand the fears which tend to grow, mutate and amplify.
I can understand the hard work ahead. I can also understand the worries that used to keep us stuck; however, I can also appreciate the lyrics which say, “Time for me to fly.”
I don’t want to hurt anyone. That’s not my intention.
But sometimes intentions never match the outcomes.
I understand this.
I don’t want to hurt myself either. But life is moving and changing and as the powers of fate draw us in different directions, I agree there is a sadness in separation.
I agree that no one should have to hurt.
Not one bit.
I do believe that healing is possible.
I am sure of this.
I believe that the more we lament or the more we fight or try to make sense of the impossible; the more we lose our stride and worse, the more we lose the rebirth of our sanity.
I want this –
When I say, “I want this,” I mean my sanity. I mean a good life.
I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I don’t want anyone to suffer. I don’t want a challenge or a fight or to be at war.
No, not in the least.
I want the same for you and for anyone else.
I want us all to find the rebirth of our sanity.
But to do this, we have to find the center of our recovery.
We have to find the courage and the bravery, which is already in us.
However, we have to understand that our life is in need of navigation.
Otherwise, life just happens and comes out as more of the same.
Someone once told me that these journal entries are brave. They said it takes a lot of courage to write about these ideas.
I don’t know much about that.
I’m not sure if this is true or not. I suppose that yes, I needed to make changes in my life.
I suppose that throughout my difficulties, I was locked in a certain pattern which needed to change.
Whether I changed this on my own or whether this changed due to a sequence of events; either way, there is a change at hand.
I am sorry for the harm I’ve caused in past settlements. I am sorry for my mistakes.
However, now that I am on this side of the spectrum, I realize that there is work to be done.
I understand that I am human (and so are you, by the way). But for now, it’s time to fly.
It’s time to find out more from the powers of fate –
to find out more about who we are
and to find out where we’re supposed to be.
The Written Addiction 