Life has a way of directing or redirecting us to where we’re supposed to be. This has nothing to do with whether we favor our position or not .
I believe this. I believe in the nature of our soul and I believe in destiny.
I believe this with all of my heart and with all that I have because whenever possible, no matter how dark or stuck life might seem, I know that somehow, there’s a plan for me. I know there’s something out there. However, I also know that on many occasions, it’s been me who stood in my way.
As for the way, the light, the truth and the hope, I believe that this is out there too.
I know it is. So come what may, I will do what I have to.
I will go where I need to and should I fall, then I’ll get up.
Should I see something inspiring or motivating that in my heart, I can feel this, deep down, then I’ll know that this is where I want to go.
I know that I am traveling in a certain direction. I also know that along the way, I am going to trip and fall. I will scrape a knee or two. I will bump my head a few times until I learn not to.
I will ignore warning signs and hope for the best. I’ll realize that I should’ve paid better attention when those warning signs occurred.
However –
There is no protection from life or the terms which are dictated by fate. There is no protection from loss nor is there any protection from risk; however, with no risk comes no reward.
So then I say it’s time to dare.
In fact, the time to dare is now.
Try. Work harder.
Live harder and above all things, play harder too.
Do not leave anything open to the judges.
Be clear so that interpretation can hopefully match our intention.
I am saying these things to you as well as to myself.
Here I am world!
Once more, my friends, I find myself heading “Into the breach.”
I have an uphill climb and as I head Into the dark, I have nothing behind me nor do I have any regrets.
So, I am off – into the changes ahead of me.
I am ready for the risks that come with a list of unknown elements which could either be a promise and lifesaving to me or, this is all just another lesson that says, I told you so, kid.
Pay attention next time.
I have some clutter to go through. I have some loose ends that I need to tie up. But at least now, the change can be underway. I can fix what I broke and amend my past by creating a better future.
For the record, nothing is over unless it ends.
In which case, I have taken the necessary strides to make my way.
I’ve done what I am supposed to do – even if this came out in a way that was unplanned and even if this was messy or hurtful; fate has no emotion to this.
I am loyal to where I am now and I say this louder than ever before.
I am growing and evolving and no matter what, no one can say that I’m not out there risking or daring.
No one can tell me that I am weak or wasting away –
no not now nor ever again.
I have told you about my friendship with Father Mike. –
Mike was a gentleman. He was a good man. But more, he was my friend.
Mike had a little prayer he was famous for.
He’d say, “Lord, take me to where you want me to go, let me meet who you want me to meet; tell me what you want me to say; and keep me out of your way.”
Although my entries are seldom (if ever) about faith or my belief in God, with respect to Father Mike’s prayer, I can relate.
Let me do what I’m supposed to do.
Let me go through what I’m supposed to – even if this hurts or even if the moment ahead is going to be tough – let me deal with it.
Let me take it in now. Let me pay what I owe and let me do this now because the one thing I know is fate is like a loan shark – in which case, there’s always a deal to put off the inevitable. But the deal will always come with a high interest rate – and interest is a bitch!
Either way, the principle needs to be paid. So, let me pay now.
Let me take this now. Even if it hurts. Then fine. I’ll take the pain.
I’ll heal and I will overcome because whether I agree to the terms or not or whether I like my chances or I like my circumstances or not, life is still happening.
There is no resting from this and there are no time-outs.
I am still growing. I am still learning and yes, I am still the same traveler in search of my best possible destiny.
I’d like to believe that I know what it is. In my heart, I know what I want which is for my love and my life to come together – so that my dreams can come true.
However, I need to change my direction now.
Or better yet, I need to understand that my direction has changed and like it or not, life changes in a heartbeat.
Therefore, all we can do is roll with the punches and protect ourselves at all times.
This doesn’t mean that we should be timid.
No. Be brave. Be the lion or lioness.
Be the hero of your own story and rescue yourself, each and ever day, for the rest of your life.
Life is going to happen. And so will rejection – if we invest in it.
Next, we can adapt. We can learn to improve our position.
We can take a risk which I am now – big time.
We can take our chances and whenever possible, we can look to regain a top position and pull off a huge reversal to make the greatest comeback ever.
I am starting to acclimate now.
My change was sudden but not unexpected.
I suppose I moved to where I am on this chess board called life, whether intentionally or subconsciously, I’m at where I’m at.
I am fine where I am because I understand that this is only a temporary occasion.
This is a means to an end.
I understand that life is simply righting the wrongs of my direction which needed to change.
This is not just true to me but for everyone in my vicinity.
I have never been truly loyal to my dreams or the wants of my heart.
I have never truly accepted myself as I am and in my submission to my doubts and fears or insecurity, I never dared or tried and I never took the time to strengthen my wings properly –
so I can fly.
And that’s what I want – to fly
My aim is to live out-loud and as quickly as possible because time is moving.
I am aging. Life is happening and in the span between this morning and the evening, with all my heart; my plan is to live for today as if tomorrow is not an option.
There’s no more yesterday. There’s no more arguments or fights or coldness. There’s no need for resentments or hatred. Besides, I don’t have the energy to waste on hate.
I have to make my way now.
I have work to do.
I have a life to adjust and things to amend, which is my way of righting the wrongs of my past and correcting a decision.
I can’t go back and change what’s taken place. I can’t absolve myself from things that I’ve done.
Only time can heal these things –
I understand this.
I understand that whether I am to take a chance or not, the world outside my door is not waiting for me.
And I am not waiting for anything anymore.
I say it’s time to live
And me, I am going to live up to my best possible ability.
I’m not sure what’s awaiting or what’s in store for me.
But no one can ever tell me I’m not present or better yet, I’ll never give anyone the opportunity to say, “You didn’t even try” again.
PS: Hey Mike,
It was nice to drive by your old spot on 32nd Street the other day.
I was making my way to a doctor’s visit when a cab took me past your spot.
I was thinking . . .
Let me do what I’m supposed to do.
Let me get what I’m supposed to get (good or bad) and let this world do what it does.
Let me do what I have to do. And like you say, let me get out of the way so life can take shape.
I can be one step happier –
One day better
One day closer
One day truer
One day closer to the love I need
And one step closer to the life I want to live
The Written Addiction 