Everyone has a list or two. And the list can be simple or some can be more complicated.
Some can be like this list I have which I plan to attack throughout the length of this journal. Or, even beyond this, I have goals I want to achieve and places I want to see.
I have a bucket list, which is important to me.
I have a list of regrets too and to be clear, it is my intention to shorten this list and lengthen my list of accomplishments, one item at a time.
I tell you
Lists are a good thing. . .
They remind us of what we need.
I have my “to-do” list.
I have my list of hopes.
I have my list of dreams that I want to come true.
I have a list of assets.
It would be dishonest of me not to declare that I have my list of faults or troubles, and it would also be honest of me that if asked, and like most people, it is often easier to list my complaints than it would be to combine a list of gratitude.
But again, same as I am looking to shrink my list of regrets, I also want to shrink my list of faults.
I want to reduce my numbers that hold me back and better my personal standards and improve myself. But there are steps to take and certain mechanics to this strategy which have to fall in place.
This means I have to do work. This means there is no room for personal laziness.
I have to allow myself the freedom and the right to blossom, to make mistakes, to find errors and also, I have to learn tolerance and patience and yes – sometimes, we have to be comfortable with the fact that life can be uncomfortable.
I plan to make a new list. And that’s what this journal is for.
I plan to make my list of improvements and achievements. I plan to improve my life by organizing my personal strengths and striking a line through each achievement as I go along.
Of course, I would love to travel more. I want to do more. I want to see more and live more and yes, I absolutely want to love more.
I want to see places that I have never seen and experience moments that I’ve always dreamed about.
But yet, I admit that as much as I’ve dreamed, I never dared to try and make these dreams come true.
And that’s on me.
I was on a plane last night. I was coming home from a very long weekend trip, which is short if we think about this.
However, I traveled about 4,000 miles in only two days.
I did this to strike a line through an item on my bucket list. But more, I did this to ignite the fire and feed the spark to burst my way into this journal by creating a new and improved platform for myself.
It is of no shame that I say I am new to this in many regards. Previously, my journal before was filled with love and commitment. At the same time, my previous journal was filled with loss and heartache and the legal worries of back and forth battles which come with divorce.
This journal is intended to magnify the spirit and promote the soul to try more and to live more because, to me, anything else is simply existing instead of living.
I can say that I have had incredible opportunities in my life. I can say that yes, I have lived. Only, I can also say that due to personal and emotional or mental limitations, I was unable to enjoy or appreciate this to its best possible potential.
So going forward, rather than focus on the “have nots,” I refer to a song which I recall that was sung by Bing Crosby.
You have to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative.
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mr. In-Between . . .
I recall a class where we were asked to list our personal and best assets.
Then we were told to list our faults and our regrets.
Most people had an easier time with their faults and regrets than they did with their assets and best qualities.
So, one of the items I have on this new list of mine is to reverse the polarity.
I want to switch poles and be above my faults and better than my regrets.
I want to dare more. I want to explore more, which is an affordable thing to do.
It does not cost us anything to try or attempt or to dare or to give more of ourselves.
It does not cost anything to make plans or to reach out to people who we love or care for.
It does not cost anything to have a laugh or smile with the people we love.
While I cannot say that my weekend behind me and my first item on the bucket list was free, I can say that the price was worth it.
The weekend was worth every penny.
Nothing is so costly that it’s worth risking our sanity or our mental health.
Nothing is worth losing our dreams or giving up our hopes.
I say this as a man who has allowed my dreams and hopes to pile so high that the thought of climbing this was equivalent to climbing a mountain which is too high to reach the top.
I have to start somewhere.
So, I started here.
I had to start somewhere because where else could I begin?
Next, I will peel each layer off, meaning I will approach every dream, one by one and one item at a time.
I have a bucket list.
I have things I want to do and places I want to see.
My list might be long but there are simple pieces to this puzzle which I plan to achieve first in order to do what’s possible.
Then, like the quote from St. Francis, I’ll start by doing what’s necessary. Then I’ll do what’s possible and suddenly, I’ll be doing the impossible.
I have to start with what’s in front of me.
I’ve been focusing on making more meals for myself. And to be clear, I am not a chef.
Not at all. I wouldn’t say that my skills are weak or that my kitchen abilities are so poor that I can burn a salad.
But, I can move around my kitchen a little bit. I can make a mean stew.
I can make a few meals. And as I go on and learn to improve my life, I want to improve my personal menus as well.
First item on the list – live good
Second item – eat good
Third – sleep good
The third is a tricky one for me.
(But two out of three ain’t bad)
And that’s okay.
Not every item on my list will be achieved right away.
But that’s why it’s a list . . .
to remind me of my goals
and to acknowledge the things I need to work on.
Know what I mean?
The Written Addiction 