I would like to be very clear about this.
And I’m not sure that I am alone with this thought. But anyway, here it goes.
I have never been the person who wakes up early to goes to the gym. I wake up early for other reasons. I’m up before the crack of dawn for work and for my personal time, which is now.
My day starts between 3:00 and 4:00am. However, my morning routine has never been one that involves the gym. To be honest, I have never enjoyed the gym nor does my social anxiety allow me to be comfortable with working out in front of other people.
Of course, it has been said that this is a predicament that’s been worked up in my head. It’s been said that “No one is even paying attention to you!” and again, “This is all in your head” which is true because this is where all problems are born – in our head.
I never liked the grunters in the gym or the people who slam their weights down. I’m also not a fan of the “selfie” people who stand in front of an exercise machine and snap a picture for their social media feeds. It’s a strange scene sometimes – the gym, I mean.
I watched a man dance and lip sync the words to a song for a good ten minutes before lifting up weights and then slamming them to the floor. He did his quick reps and then he returned to his dance solo and got back to rocking on with the tunes in his ear phones.
And he meant it too . . .
He was in for a penny, in for a pound and making his act somewhat spectacular.
I mean . . at least, almost.
His dancing was poor and his movements were clunky. But hey, he’s at the gym and working out.
Right?
To each his own
Then again, this is not what I came for.
Like I said, I have never been much of a fitness buff. At the same time, I have reached an age where my physical fitness was in need of a complete overhaul.
For lack of a better phrase, I needed to get my shit together.
Aside from being overweight, having high cholesterol along with high blood pressure that could’ve been a killer, my energy was low and my testosterone was even lower.
My drive was below the basement of ground level and, as a result, my self-esteem was even lower than all the above.
But there was another problem –
My blood sugar was dangerously high and my diet was far from helpful.
But ah, food is love. Right?
Sure, food is love.
But food is also a drug.
Trust me on this.
I can say that there is comfort in food. I can say that I enjoy the flavors and tastes of all foods, especially the foods that are the worst for us.
Give me a double burger. Give me some buffalo chicken with all the blue cheese dressing you can find.
Or wait – give me some fried Oreo cookies.
Ever have them?
It’s like a sugar stroke, heart-attack, in a golden crispy, and flavorful batch of sugary fried death.
But they taste amazing.
I have a sweet tooth. I love junk food and, let’s be very clear, I can eat fast food all day, every day. To top this off, I can eat A LOT.
I can swallow a lot of food in one sitting. I can eat an entire meal, step away, and then go back to the fridge a few moments later just to eat something else.
But to what end?
Was this helpful to me?
Not at all.
I can say that I have experienced food comas. I can say that I have eaten myself into a food coma and almost narcotized myself. Then I’d pass out on the couch and wake up feeling like shit because I knew I ate too much.
Let’s be clear-
I love all foods. I love pastas. I love bread. I love to sop up the juices of my meal with some good bread and clean my plate from all the sauce.
What can I say? I love carbs. And they love me too.
Or do they?
The end result of my eating frenzies was poor health, high blood sugar and diabetes (Type 2).
I saw myself in the mirror. I thought to myself, “What the hell?”
How’d I let myself get like this?
Was I even paying attention?
I wondered how I went from thin and fit to overweight and sluggish.
I blamed my weight on stress and contributed my weight gain to the pandemic.
In fact, I often referred to my gut as the pandemic pounds.
Let’s be clear on something –
Yes, food is a great escape. Food is comforting. Food is a great way to pass the time.
Food is also social. Not to mention, food is literally everywhere.
I can say that the smell of food can bring back some great memories which is not a bad thing at all.
Nothing is a bad thing in moderation – or, so I’ve heard.
I can say that I have lost all of my pandemic pounds.
Yes, I lost weight.
My blood sugar is no longer a threat and my blood pressure is normal and my cholesterol is at a healthy level.
But wait . . .
There’s more.
I already mentioned that I am not a gym person.
However, life is not about living in the comfort zone. No, I suppose my comfort zone would lead me to the nearest Taco Bell or pizza joint.
Maybe my comfort zone would send me overboard at some all-you-can-eat buffet, which I swear to you and all who care to know – I can eat more than my fair share at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
I still believe that food is love.
However, after the weight loss and after the redefinition of my physical fitness; after the gym and the discomforts, which I have faced by committing myself to purchasing a gym membership and going almost daily; I do enjoy a good meal.
I firmly believe that food is nurturing.
I believe that while I do love literally tons of unhealthy foods, I have learned my way around the kitchen to make healthier choices.
(At least a little bit.)
So, today’s item on the list is very simple and nurturing.
My goal is to express myself through a different display of love which I want to share.
I plan to share what my meal preparations are like.
I enjoy this but before we go any further, I am not a chef. I am not a nutritionist either.
I’m only a man with a bucket list with items that I look to achieve.
First and foremost, music in the background is what makes all preparations a better process.
So, if you dare to try this or if you’re looking to make any dish at all, choose your playlist and let the rhythm move you.
Last night went as follows-
I took some ground chicken.
I readied the pan with some olive oil, butter, minced garlic, chopped white onions, and a little white wine, along with some fresh thyme and rosemary.
I let that get nice and hot.
I cooked the chicken in the pan and chopped up the meat while making sure all the juices were collected to gain some flavor. Next I added a bag of chopped cabbage.
(Also, I added a little bit of ghost chili hot sauce because hey, I like the heat.)
There’s more though. I offered a little salt and pepper. Maybe a dash of white pepper too, which might be overboard for some people, but not to me.
I say the flavors are excellent. I say the great thing about this is that I can make a mistake and who cares?
Also, I add a fair amount of ginger dressing and, trust me, all together the dish tastes great.
I put this over some rice last night and sat in the dimness of warm, soft lights in my little living room. I thought of the meal which I had just prepared for myself – and I thought about the love which I put in to the dish I made before – to bring to work today.
I thought about the day which I needed to leave behind me and the day ahead, which I have to face.
I thought about the dramas that I saw at the gym and the laughable assumptions I make about people.
But for the record, yes, I do dance in front of mirrors and I might sing a bit – but not at the gym.
My item today is to face my discomfort.
My item is to make this day better than the one before it.
My item is to enjoy my leftovers which I already had some for breakfast (at 3:00am).
But more, I want to expand the nurturing aspect of food and feeding myself (or you) by sharing this thought.
Now, I can strike a line through a personal challenge which, at the moment, I realize that my replacement of thought with action is working.
I might not have abs of steel nor am I buff or muscular with biceps bulging from my sleeves, nor am I a gym person per se, but at the same time, at least I am following up on my commitment.
I’m exercising and I am sharing my love for food with you, my most special friend and person in this world.
I can make a mean steak now . . .
I use some cloves of garlic, olive oil, thyme, butter and I sear this in a pan.
I heat every side and let this take on the flavors from the juices in the pan by spooning the melted butter over the meat.
It’s pretty good.
(You should try it.)
Food is love.
I agree.
To me, I don’t think there is anything more loving than preparing and sharing a good meal with the person you love and care for the most which is why I am leaving this thought here with you – because as always, I made plenty (just in case you get hungry.)
I have to deal with work today. I have a lot on my schedule, which is okay.
But no matter what, when the clock strikes at quitting time, I’ll make my home to change my clothes, head over to the gym and I’ll make sure I keep my routine.
As of now, I am 60lbs down and looking fit.
But there’s more to this and more to the items that I’m looking to achieve today.
I want to be healthy. I want to be happy.
Life is changing and so are the seasons.
I don’t know what the holidays will look like for me this year.
But that’s okay.
I’ll always have you to keep me company.
Right?
The Written Addiction 