What does it mean to have fun, anyway?
What does it mean to trip the light fantastic? Or to dance or to sway to music?
What does it mean to toss all of our cares behind us and completely abandon all regards of that which is beyond our control?
Imagine?
What does it mean to live or love, or laugh or learn and be in the moment and to live, just in that moment; as if nothing could take us away from this; as if nothing could stop or destroy us; and for the moment, what does it mean to be so filled with satisfaction and the absolute pleasure of being in one single solitary minute, just a minute, that’s all – and to be so entwined in this, that for the time being, there is no wrong; there are no such things as cruelties to humankind – and/or, for the moment, what does it mean to literally and viscerally feel the celebration of life around us?
I associate this completely with life in its entirety, which means to complete one’s self, one would have to learn and understand what it means to live to the fullest and be happy, one would have to master their art of being satisfied in unsatisfying times and to be accomplished at times when we see failures instead of successes.
It’s a trick. I’m sure.
But I do think we can pull this off.
(Somehow)
I ask these questions both wholeheartedly and lovingly. I pose these questions from a humble stance. Or, as a man on one knee – head bent downward, as if to submit to the reverenced emotion with an almost holy regard, or as if to bow before The Father, and The Holy, The Maker, The Mother of All, and/or even before the Son of Man; I ask this with complete and total honesty.
Further, as a person with more than 51 years under my belt, as a person with both visible and invisible scars, as a person with a past, as a person with hope, as a person with a need to fulfill a better and stronger future and as someone who is looking to strip myself of the unwanted weights; I ask these questions as a child would ask his father, about the mysteries of the moon or the secrets of the cosmos.
There are so many things they teach in school.
We spend years with our heads in books. We have classes about math and science, history and, of course, English.
We have studied trades to learn how to make a living. Or perhaps some people spend close to a decade to perfect their educational journey so they can perfect their career.
However, of all the most important things we need to learn in our life, how come no one teaches us how to have fun?
How come there are no mandatory classes like Happiness 101?
And I’ve asked this before.
I’ve asked this before a virtual crowd of several hundred people who worked at a large organization – in fact, this company was the second or third largest of its kind. The audience was filled with powerful and successful people
and no one had an answer.
We learn in school because we were told these are the lessons we need to understand.
This way, we can go out and make a living.
What’s a living?
What does it mean to work and have no joy or no sense of accomplishment because instead – life is either a routine or become habitual mass of minutes and seconds that are either filled with more of the same or this is only a life that’s lived in the mundane existence; whereas there is no thrill. There is no laughter.
There is no understanding of what it means to trip the light fantastic.
I am offering this discussion between us for a reason.
The reason is simple, not sad.
I think this is something that needs to be learned.
I believe that everyone has their bouts with insecurity.
I believe that everyone fights with their own doubts about the second-guessing of self.
I believe this fully and truly and as a person who has my own battles with “self” and as a person who understands the internal and actual struggle with depression and depressive thinking, or as someone with a deep and personal understanding of anxiety, social anxiety, and let’s not forget the anticipation of anxiety or anticipatory anxiety, I believe that the simple idea of having fun without concern or to “let go” is not always so easy.
To let go –
To be free so deeply that there are no distractions and there are no worries that the smile will fade and the frowns will reappear.
That’s a dance, my friend.
I think about the words that come from a poem
written and spoken by Saul Williams –
Stealing us was the smartest thing they ever did – too bad they don’t teach the truth to their kids!
In his text, Williams wrote this about the unfairness and the inequality of racism.
I do not debate this nor am I here to discuss these words in those terms.
However, I can say that people I’ve seen have been unfairly stolen from their truths. I can see how bullying or social or internal bullyism and how ego and how the need “to fit” or the need to “part of,” or the draws of the crowd and the need to find a better place in the herd, and in fact, items like this have stolen us from our personal best. I can say that we have all been stolen one or twice.
I can say that people were stolen when someone lied to them about their absence of beauty.
I can say that beauty is everywhere and in everyone. Yet, there are lies that thieve us from our truth and teach us to be ugly.
I can say that body shaming is a theft of services.
I can say that abuse and neglect is a thief with a knife.
I can say that status and the status-minded, and the factory workers that run the gossip mills and the rumor factories are thefts of life; and that yes, the true beauty of people all around us have been stolen by the morbid lies of anger and inferiority..
Why aren’t there classes on this?
Why aren’t we teaching ourselves how to live better or how to love more and how to laugh more often?
Trip the light fantastic –
I love the sound of this.
I love the idea that we can dance the night away or laugh our cares away –
And, now, from a personal perspective –
I have to admit that I am one of those people who never feels comfortable in pictures. And yes, sometimes, I see pictures of myself and find that I am uncomfortable with my facial expression.
The reason for this is because I can see the expression on my face and tell what I was thinking at the time of the photo.
I have been through this since my youth. In fact, there was an old friend who showed me an old photo of us.
We were in a group, 7th grade, just before school started.
Everyone was happy, laughing and smiling for the picture – I was standing off to the side, much smaller than everyone else, little as little could be, younger looking, awkward and uncomfortable with the idea that this picture would be taken, and that yes, there would be proof of this. There would be proof of my discomfort and this would be out there, somewhere, embossed in time and developed in a photograph of me, unlike the others and unfamiliar with the smiles they shared.-
As soon as I saw it –
I could tell what I was thinking when I saw the expression on my face.
I could feel it (You know?)
I have had this experience before.
I could see my expression in photographs and I could tell what my thoughts were.
I could see my difficulties and I could literally feel the flood of old familiar pains that used to haunt me throughout my life.
I can say that I am a man who has earned my seat at the table.
I can say that my accomplishments to live each day are neither small nor unimportant.
But ah, to live – to dance – to sing – or to trip the light fantastic –
This is what I want for myself.
I want to learn how to have fun.
I want to learn how to laugh and yes, I want to learn the basic science of all that this takes.
I want to have a true understanding behind the science and the actual chemistry that takes place in our minds – as well as our bodies – and I want to know and understand the whys and the hows of when real happiness takes place.
I have only one picture in my entire life that shows me in a position of peace and complete satisfaction.
One only one.
But hey, this is a recent endeavor for me.
This bucket list is new and my ideas are growing which means I can build from here.
I can grow. I can understand and improve.
I can see the changes that take place when the lights are bright and the music is sweet.
I can feel my dreams.
I can sense the fascination that comes with the ideas I have about a moon over Miami and/or the sunset as if goes down over the palm trees along the beach.
I am not here to declare perfection as a man or as a person.
I am not here to ask for sympathy or find empathy from an outside source.
No. Instead, I am calling myself out and outright, I am calling myself to repair my tattered and frayed ends of a previous sanity
(or, the lack thereof).
I want to learn – like a child learns.
I want to be young again.
I want to be unafraid to dance or sing and disregard the sound of my voice or the fact that my singing might be out of key – I want to play anyway because I deserve this.
I am building now – I am growing like the new day’s sun, rising from the palm of the horizon and pushing into the underbelly of the sky. I am blossoming like this, forming like an orange yolk to brighten the smile of Mother Earth’s sky.
I am only a man, I say.
More, I am this person modestly before you – bowing my head in humble restitution of self, caring, loving and relieving myself from the unnecessary burdens of blame, shame, fault, guilt or regret.
I want to trip the light fantastic –
Since there are no classes on how to live or how to laugh or learn how to love and since there’s no courses on how to be happy – then let me live out the remaining balance of my life like this: Learning.
I want to see beautiful things.
I want to dance.
I want to recreate a prom that never took place.
I want to go to a drive-in movie.
I want to see the sky at sunset in a place called Sedona.
I want to hit the beach in San Diego once more.
And yes, Baja, as in Del Sur, as in Espritu Santo.
I want another round at a place called Chimayo so I can tell the spirits what I’ve found since my first visit.
From now on, I want to give myself the earth beneath my roots; so that my soil can be healthy enough that I grow – and, so . . .
When the next picture comes, I will see the expression on my face.
I will know exactly what I was thinking, how I was feeling and how satisfying a moment can be –
So please – come with me.
Let’s trip the light fantastic.
The hours are gaining speed and if we’re not careful, we could miss the opening curtain. If we are careless, we might mistake the close of day for the end of our beautiful life –
Dance with me, please.
I might not be good at it . . .
But hey, I can always learn.
Right?
The Written Addiction 