Prose from the Bucket List – Time to Live

I have heard the saying, “life is short.”
And it is. Time is ticking.
The clock is on and yes, life is too short to be complicated with indecision, which means now is the time to move.
Now is the time to stand up. Or better yet and in the spirit of this journal – now is the time to cross these items off of our list.

This means now is the time to live.
Take a risk.
Go someplace. Do something different.
Don’t be afraid.

Now is the perfect time to open your eyes.
Allow yourself the grand experience called life.
And yes, this is life.
This is the pulse and here, right now, this is our finger on the pulse of our existence, hoping to feel the beat and yearning to be alive.

I have said this before and it pays for me to say this again.
I have seen what happens to dreams deferred.
I have seen what happens when we allow ourselves to drown in the complacence of mediocre lives.
I know the unrewarding feel of doing mediocre things with no zest or no passion.
No challenge to the heart and no reward for the soul.

I have seen what life is like in a loveless display where all is flat and passionless – nothing to be excited about, nothing to look forward to and nothing to bring out the rise in our chest.
There’s nothing to allow that inner beast to come out and rage and scream or dance so hard that sweat pours from our body.
I have seen this.
I have seen the sad submissions of a life that goes otherwise unlived and I say this as no insult to anyone else.
And no, this is not intended to blame anyone else.
Instead, I allow myself the accountability and admit that in my path, I have allowed myself to stifle or silence the rage in my heart.
I silenced the fire in my voice and that’s on me.
Not anyone else.
I have seen what happens when life passes and as a witness, I can say that I have looked around and noticed the world that was live and in-person; yet, I was otherwise lifeless – or still.

I have come to the understanding that action creates change and stillness leads to sameness.
So, therefore, I want to see a new life.
I want to feel a new sense of freshness or to enjoy the refreshing emotions of life and love.
I want to enjoy the simple, most basic thrills, because now is the time to start to live.
It’s not too late.
There’s no reason to go back or give in.
There’s no reason to allow fear to take away the passion in our hearts.
Do not let this go.
Do not surrender this to anyone else and please –
Do not allow your soul to perish because your mind has played a trick on you –

Everything about our hopes and dreams is absolutely perfect – in fact, the only thing that subtracts from our perfection is if we submit and surrender.

I say surrender, as if to forfeit to the sadness of submission or to concede, to give up, to lay down, fall, or let go; as in to totally allow ourselves to let the world happen and meanwhile – we do nothing.
What kind of life is this?
We give nothing. We say nothing and in turn, the world goes on. Thus; we become nothing more than a physical existence with no substance beneath our skin to feed the soul – or set us free.

I do not want this to happen to me.
I do not want to give in.
I do not want to give up nor do I want to allow myself to drown or submerge in the sameness of a below average life.
I do not want to be locked away or kept in the smallest world, which is confined by the barred doors of the mind; imprisoned like a caged bird, too big for its surroundings and outgrowing an environment that keeps the bird from spreading its wings.

And sure –
I want to fly.
I want to try new things.
I want to laugh.
But more, I want to live and love as if my thirst and hunger can never be quenched or satisfied.
I want to have that feeling; as if I were on top of the tallest mountain and free enough to breathe the air.
I want to be out beneath the moon on a quiet sea and watch the waves rolling beneath my ship.
I want to see things like this and sigh with relief because at last, I’ve made it.

It’s not too late to live.
Not at all –

I think of the people I have met in my life.
I think about the lessons which they have tried to teach me. 

I think of the people who tried to let me know that time is running out.
And it is. So, get out there kid
The hour is getting late.
I think of friends who unexpectedly passed away at a young age.
I think of people like my friend Kenny. I’ll never forget him.
He told me that it took learning that he was about to die to know what it means to want to live.
And I don’t want to die – at least not like that.

I know there is much to see and much to do. I know there are a lot of things that I want to make up for, as in the lost time, for example.
I want to regain the lost opportunities which, if able, I would like to recreate these things like the prom I told you about, which is something I never did.
Or seeing Vegas. I’ve never been there.
Or Baja. Or heading back to Maui once more, only this time, I want to do this trip the right way.

I am not sorry for my drive or my dreams.
I am not here to apologize for my heart.
However, I am sorry that I allowed myself to sink this deep.
I’m sorry that I sunk into the spiral of doubts and resentful ideas.
I am sorry that this turned me into a person that I am not – and by the way, I’m not that person, at least not when I am at my best. 
And that’s what I want – to be at my best.

I want to live my best life now because life is short.

Nothing changes if nothing changes – so, let me change now.
Let me grow.
Let me breathe,
Let me inhale the life I want and until I am full and fat and living with a happy heart.
Let me find that place in the sun where I am fine to sit still and smile and look around, as if to say – please . . .
Let me remember this exactly the way it is, right now.

That’s what I want and this is today’s item for my bucket list.
So, let’s go –
It’s time to live.