Nostalgia –
Now there’s a great find. This is the thing inside of us which stirs when something comes along and hits the memory button.
Nostalgia, like, as in ah – that thing which took place all those years ago.
Remember?
Back when we were young . . .

What does it mean anyway?
Life?
What does it mean to live to the fullest? I ask because, in fairness and as an honest spectator, I often see people live with reservations and doubt.
This is amazing to me but still, it’s true. We have wants and dreams and desires yet, there are so many of us who never dare to give our hopes the shot they deserve.
There countless people in this world and everyone is up to something. Everyone has an idea or a plan. And at the same time, everyone has a want or a need, a dream, or a wish.

Something I think about is the way we argue. I wonder why, as in, what for?
I think about the way we fight or the way we bitch about nonsense or unimportant things that somehow take priority in our lives. We bitch and we moan. We complain. We fight and we go back and forth and we beat the so-called dead horse.
Why?
Does any of this really help?

I have been looking for an answer to my prayers. Then again, I suppose we all are.
Even those who never pray – they have something that they want too.
I’ve been hoping and searching to find “that thing” that has no name yet this is the thing that means everything to us.

This has been an ongoing search and an ongoing pursuit for me – as in the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. And too, I have been made aware throughout my life and on countless occasions that happiness changes.
We change too.

What was it that made you happiest when you were a kid?
I ask this because there are times when I struggle to remember. There are times when I almost forget that there was a time, and albeit long ago, or not so long ago; there was a time when I was able to laugh or smile about the simplest things.
I love the idea of simple fascinations. I love the little details of things that might catch someone’s attention. It’s the simple things too. It’s the tiny details that we notice and yes, it’s these things that spark the idea machine and cause us to do things, like give a tiny gift that relates to this, as if to say, “Yeah, I noticed that too.”

There are times when the hour is late and all is dark. My mind escapes me, which means my thoughts are moving too fast and in a thousand different directions.
And I know what this is. I know what they call this.
They call this insomnia. But me, I call this another night in bed, looking up at the ceiling. I say this is another night, tossing from one side to the other, trying to find a comfortable spot and trying to stop my mind from moving in a thousand different directions.
But hey, try to relax. Right?
Isn’t that what people say?
Try to clear your mind.
Ever hear that one?

There’s got to be something more to this life than what we see. I mean more than the status symbols that we were taught to envy or admire and more than money or who has the most toys. There has to be something more than who we are in the ranks of popularity or where we live or work or how much we earn.
Life has to be more than an exclusive address or club memberships.
There’s more to us than that.
I know there is.

Yet, the grass is always greener, as they say. Or, we can learn that the grass is greenest where it is cared for the best.

And you run sometimes. You know?
You try to find someplace safe or, if anything, you try to find someplace away from everything that’s been going on behind you.
But it trails – you know?
Life seems to follow you . . . and
You run and you run but eventually, the question becomes, “where are we going?”
What the hell are we doing?

There was an idea that I heard the other night.
The idea is to smile in the face of adversity. Imagine that. To smile at the face of an otherwise enemy – to breathe regardless of the things that would otherwise leave you breathless.
I say this is an amazing quality to have.
I say to have this ability is more than heroic. I say this is almost a superpower – to smile in the face of hatred or outrage; or to smile regardless of the unhappy or the ugly features of an enemy or to smile at a life less desired. But more, to smile as an action instead of retaliation or a means of response.

My morning drive is early. Then again all morning drives are early, at least mine are.
I am up long before the sun, which is fine because it has been this way for a very long time.
I am an early riser. I always have been and I always will be,which, again, this is fine because I like the quiet before the world wakes up.

I like the early stillness and the sleepiness of the towns which I have earned the right to call my own.
I am used to this – my routine.