So, you want to know what makes the world tick, do you?
You want to know what’s in the sauce? Or better yet, you want to know the secret handshake that gets you through the door.
Of course, you do. Who doesn’t?
Everyone wants to be in on the secret. Everyone wants the answers to the test.
Of course we do. We all want to know how to pull a trick and we all want to know a shortcut or maybe two.
To use a phrase that was taught to me over 32 years ago, everyone is looking to find “an easier, softer way” but we can’t because sometimes, “The only way to it, is through it!”
There is no easier or softer way, which means as hard as we try to cut corners or find an easier way, we end up spinning our wheels and going nowhere.
Life has a course and yes, sadly, sometimes we have to make a turn. We have to change or correct ourselves. Often enough, we might find ourselves at a dead-end in life, or we might have a dead-end job or a dead-end relationship which, of course, we know that we want more. We know that somehow, there has to be more out there – but sometimes, we have to go through a life-altering event before we make a decision to alter our lives.
We want the secrets to the stars and know the mysteries of the universe.
We all want the world in a pill – this way, we could swallow it whole and never have to worry about anything else.
But that’s not life now, is it?
That’s not reality, not by a longshot.
Life comes with switches and unexpected turns. This happens both frequently and constantly.
So, be advised that while life moves and seasons change, we still have business to take care of.
Fall as many times as you have to – but never forget to get back up.
When you do, never forget what it took to bring you back to your feet.
I call this grown folk’s business.
Or, I just call this life.
The fact is, we all have to learn.
We have to adapt and roll with the punches, so-to-speak. We have to understand that life changes and so do feelings.
This is true.
Situations change; however, none of this has to define us or degrade us by any means.
Life is a teacher. This is also true.
But rest assured that teachers are famous for one thing – if you do something wrong, they’ll make you do it again until you learn
(or get it right!)
I have scars, both visible and otherwise. I call these my roadmaps to the lessons I failed to pay attention to.
I say these are the lines which detailed the simple fact that sometimes, we learn.
Sometimes we forget.
In fact, there are times that we forget ourselves; in which case, we have to relearn and unlearn and adapt all over again.
If life is always changing, fashions change, cultures change, and so does our society; then it would only make good business sense to update our thinking – this way, we can adapt to the changes without losing ourselves in the mass hysterias of personal ignorance or out-of-date thinking.
Let’s face it –
Sometimes we learn the right things from the wrong teachers and, yes, this can be vice-versa as well.
I go back to an early and simple lesson.
Mom always said, “Nobody ever promised you a rose garden.”
She was right.
Life is hard.
Learning can be hard too. But what does this mean?
Well, one could argue that the tougher the lesson, the more valuable the lesson can be.
To be clear, we have to understand that our secret of endurance is more important than we think.
We have to learn how to get back up when we fall down.
We have to refuse that “gun shy” feeling that makes us flinch each time we pull the trigger or choose to launch.
We have to come to a place of comfort – even if this is uncomfortable then yes, we have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable..
We can’t be afraid to try. We can’t be afraid to be first.
But more, we can’t be afraid to swing and miss.
We have to rid ourselves of the shame that comes with the ideas of judgment or failure.
I have spent decades overthinking and overanalyzing myself.
I spent too much of my life worrying and then questioning the moves I’d make.
I’ve spent most of my life overthinking and too concerned about my abilities during the moments of truth.
Would I be able to pull it off?
(Whatever “it” may be.)
All too often, I paused or failed to launch. I was too afraid to fail or miss.
While sifting through my doubts about when or if I’d ever be able to pull off my trick – I wondered because even when I do, or if I did pull off a trick (or two,) was any of this enough?
Did the ends justify the means?
Does any of this help or increase my truest beauty?
Am I still only the same – just hoping I can create a path to shine myself a little better so that I seem a little brighter, to which, in the end – I’d question if any of this has made me more attractive or desirable to the world?
Did I allow too much time to go to my preparation that I over-rehearsed and underperformed?
Or wait –
Did I allow myself to walk away from opportunities because I thought too much?
There are times when I stood in the pocket and for whatever reason; there was this sense of “knowing” inside of me. Knowing – as if I knew that this was it – I was about to take a swing at a pitch and yes, I could knock the ball right out of the park. And, I did . . .
There have been times when I know that all points were possible and for whatever the reason might have been, all engines in my head were firing on all cylinders – and, alas, I knew one thing, specifically: I got this!
There comes a time when rehearsals are over. There comes a time when the practice has to become practical and yes, there comes a time when the only thing left to do is act – not talk, not send an email, not text a friend or look to consult anyone else or see who else is available, or schedule a meeting to talk about what to do or what to say.
No.
There comes a time when the only thing left to do is pull the trigger.
I call that “Now.” Therefore, now is the time to put your plans into action.
I have met with people who sit high in the ranks of Corporate America. And I wonder how they got there.
I really do.
They’re sitting in their big chairs behind their big desks yet they are too afraid to make a decision.
I wonder if they got their position because of who they knew or where they came from.
I say this because I’ve seen the club ties and the secret handshakes. Yet, as high as people can be in the ranks – I have seen them suffer and spiral down to the lowest forms of imposter syndrome and internal fear.
Yet – they have their titles and their high-paying jobs.
I always wondered if this was because they knew someone or because someone owed them a favor.
Maybe this is it, no?
Maybe their friends in Pasadena pulled a few strings. Maybe their Orange County lives and backgrounds reached out to their Beverly Hills committees and there was a “Sit-down” and an agreement was made and promises exchanged.
I have seen people balk and pause yet they have a position of power.
Yet, they never move on their own intuition. They never take a chance. They play it safe.
They seldom (if ever) make a decision without someone else to sign on the dotted line – just to play it safe or to keep it away from the courts.
I have news for you – life is not safe.
We cannot bubble-wrap the sharp edges of unexpected outcomes.
We can’t stop life from happening nor can we stop the unwanted changes from taking place.
“Into each life, a little rain must fall.”
Isn’t that right?
Well?
I have lived through storms.
And guess what?
So have you.
We have weathered storms and survived countless days that would otherwise drown us in the sad and angry mix of regret or resentment.
And so?
What are we waiting for?
When is it our turn to take the stage and say to ourselves:
Hey, you know what?
You got this.
No one believes me when I tell them about my social fears. No one believes when I say that I have painful phobias – especially when it comes to people or social settings and public speaking.
“But don’t you do public speaking?”
Sure do!
Yes, I have fears and phobias.
Yes, I have certain challenges that are, can be and used to be debilitating.
But yes, one step at a time and certainly, one day at a time, I face these things.
I have learned to endure.
I had to –
Otherwise, I’d do nothin else but fall to the weight of an impending doom that would always be lurking or breathing down my neck – I would never be free and thus, I would always be nothing more than a prisoner to my own mind.
Life is not going to advance without risk.
So each day – at least once:
Do something to better yourself.
Do something to get out of the maze.
Do something to stop the dead-end, worthless mentality.
Do one thing to step in a new direction and then –
Let your footsteps add up enough to the point where you eventually look back and realize – holy shit . . . I’m not where I used to be anymore.
With me – the statement I make is: I’m not who I used to be.
I’m not because successfully, eventually and inevitably, I moved on, one step and one day at a time.
By the way . . .
I spoke with a young man last night and asked him what he wants to do with his life.
He wasn’t sure.
I loved the expression on his face and the intrigued depth in his eyes.
FInd what you want to do –
And kick the shit out of it!
I love seeing young people look to make a change for the better.
I love watching youth choose their future – instead of allowing their future to choose them.
I have seen what happens to young dreams that go unaddressed.
I know this because at the age of 51 – I find myself trying to redefine and recreate my youth so that I can relive it now, before it’s too late.
Today’s item on my bucket list –
Devote myself to one change that will better my life.
I’ll have to do this each day, from now until the rest of my life.
But that’s okay.
I don’t mind the work.
Besides, it’s better than living in the stillness or having a life that’s nothing else but more of the same.
Here it comes – the sunrise
It’s time to say it:
You got this!
The Written Addiction 