What does it mean anyway?
Life?
What does it mean to live to the fullest? I ask because, in fairness and as an honest spectator, I often see people live with reservations and doubt.
This is amazing to me but still, it’s true. We have wants and dreams and desires yet, there are so many of us who never dare to give our hopes the shot they deserve.
There countless people in this world and everyone is up to something. Everyone has an idea or a plan. And at the same time, everyone has a want or a need, a dream, or a wish.
I know this. In fact, I have all of the above – including fear and doubt. I have worries. I have thoughts that serve as an injustice. Doubts disrupt desire, especially when I play with them too much or if I interact with this sort of thinking, I lose my place in the game and I forget the way to pull off my trick. Then what?
I get ready for a trip called, “More of the same.”
I am sure that by now, everyone has a gripe or a complaint. Everyone has a resentment or a reason to be angry. And by now, I’m sure that we’ve all been beaten at our own game, at least once.
I’m sure that we’ve all seen better times and worse times and yes, there are times when we swear that “Holy Shit! How the hell am I ever going to get through this one?” Yet, somehow, we do get through it. We can get through anything we want to. But, that doesn’t mean we will always be comfortable. This doesn’t mean that we are always going to like our choices. There are times when God-Almighty, I have to say it – but everything sucks and my head is heavy.
I’m tired and I’m not sure where or how I will find the energy to put one foot in front of the other – let alone, how the hell am I going to step up to the plate and compete in this grand arena, which we call the world.
What does it mean to live?
What does it mean to be happy?
What has to be done to achieve this?
When I ask about what it means to live, I mean there’s more than just to exist. This is why I am here.
I am searching for the answer which becomes our life as a means of constant evolution.
I want to find myself in a position that understands, whether I am on the crest of the wave or about to tumble and crash into the shore, nothing in the world can dictate or determine whether I stand tall or decide to be happy.
I have seen people endure losses. I have watched people sit through terrible news – and I mean the worst kind of news – I mean the news that stops your heart or even breaks your heart yet no matter what comes their way, they endure. They adapt. They recover and they overcome.
They never go down. I love this.
I love the tenacity it takes to get up and to keep going.
I see people with this kind of fortitude and I admire them.
I have met people who endure and feel and they process yet they never back down, they never give in, never give up, and they never allow anyone or anything the opportunity to dictate or determine their happiness.
I say this is amazing.
A new friend of mine told me yesterday – there are no accidents.
However, and mistakenly, he said there are no mistakes.
Maybe he’s right –
Mistakes are tools that we use to learn how to adjust or how to re-navigate our lives because without mistakes, how would we ever learn to update our thinking?
Nothing in this world is ever guaranteed. Not love. Not hate. Not hope, not dreams, not the evolution of loss, and certainly; no one ever promised you that life would be easy. No one ever said you were going to like what took place.
This is life. That’s all.
Life consists of expected and unexpected situations – and sometimes, it’s the unexpected ones that come along and knock us on our asses.
What is life?
This is my quest.
I want to answer this for myself.
I want to know what freedom tastes like.
I want to understand the comfort of my stance and understand that no matter what takes place, we make mistakes.
Mistakes DO NOT make us.
I want to live, love, laugh,l and learn without the fear of judgment.
I want to stand beneath the sun and lift my chin to feel the sunshine and heat on my face.
I want to breathe and be bold enough to face judgment without allowing this to interfere with my own judgment of myself.
I want to stand tall, no matter who I stand next to.
I want to know how to laugh.
I want to dance. I want to make love and be so vulnerable that life changes after this – in fact, everything changes because as love takes hold, and the feeling in my heart grows so huge and insurmountable that literally nothing could ever break me apart – except for her. At the same time, I want to reach the levels where I know that she would never hurt me because if I feel it this way, then she feels it too and thus, if this is true love then I will be allowed to call myself one of the “lucky ones.”
Lucky . . .
Or does luck have nothing to do with this?
Should I thank the stars and the hands of fate for the footsteps and the direction of my path?
Rather than wonder about my life, I want to live it.
To live, as in regardless of the rise or fall or the tides, regardless of the cold nights or the winters on the empty beaches, abandoned and seasonally desolate, and regardless of whether I am old or young or if I am about to face my last moment here on this Earth, at this point, I have come too far.
I have unfolded myself too many times. I’ve exposed my truths and so now with nowhere else to hide, I have to come forward. I am here to find my place in the sun.
Otherwise, I’m in for another ride on a journey called “More of the same.”
No one can tell me what life is – at least not when it comes to me.
The same goes for me to you. I can’t tell you what it means to live through your eyes.
That’s your job.
I don’t know what the difference between living and existing is to you – but to me, I have lied to myself for way too long which is why I am here to face the change and endure what comes next.
I met a young man today –
He said he was afraid to “Take that next step.”
I told him to take it.
Otherwise, you’ll spend the rest of your life wishing that you had and looking back, you’ll realize that at best, you only settled and in the end, you’ll come to the understanding of one true thing:
Your life is never your own until you claim it.
Stake your claim, kid.
Please do not allow regret to take place –
I don’t want you to come into a new life and think about the could haves, would haves, and should haves.
Don’t wait for the “When” moments
Live your life now –
Age comes very quickly.
Believe me on this one.
What is life?
I suppose this is a question that only you can answer –
Just answer this wisely, truthfully, wholeheartedly.
That’s all I ask.
I go back to a suggestion I was told a long time ago.
This was back when I was a kid. I was living on a farm and working through more than I bargained for.
I was told: To thine own self be true
Above all things, I think this is the best piece of advice when it comes to living a good, happy life.
Do not settle. Do not give way.
Do not let go of your truth
And even more –
Do not allow doubt to spoil your desire.
Else, get ready for a ride called more of the same. . .
The Written Addiction 