It is safe to say that whatever is beyond me is beyond me. And we know this.
However, at the same time, I see people walk into unnecessary battles with eyebrows folded downward with a seething rage, teeth grinding, lip snarled and their neck bent forward and fists clinched.
I have seen people go off to fight an unworthy battle and lose to an unchangeable opponent.
Suffice to say that I have done this too
Suffice to say that I have my share of battle wounds that could have been avoided.
Safe to say that I have wasted minutes, hours and even years like this.
Safe to say that I have lost sleep. I’ve lost ground and yes, I have even lost myself to fights against unbeatable items, such as a life beyond my control.
Then again, haven’t we all?
No matter how I try or what I do, I must understand that no matter what I think or how much I want something to be so, the world does not operate according to me.
What I must do now is recognize that which is beyond my control is and always will be beyond my control. To be clear, I have the right to resist.
I have the right to refuse. I have the right to adjust or to act accordingly.
I have the right to realize where my improvements need to be.
I have the right to recognize the changes ahead of me and the right to either act accordingly. Or, I can fight the tides and waste my energy. I can bang my head against the same wall or fall down the same hole. I can keep going into the unwinnable fights around me. Or, I can choose a new path and make a change that will allow me to recover and redefine my best version of “Self.”
The saying that comes to mind is “It is what it is!”
To be clear on this; it is also within my right to say how much I hate this saying.
Yet, it’s true.
It is what it is.
This is the case with mistakes. This is also the case with all my actions which led to their specific reactions and equally, this also true when it comes to the seeds which I have planted.
This is action that leads to the cultivation and harvesting which is how our crops come to fruition. I say this to you from a figurative standpoint.
However, I understand this from a literal aspect as well because it’s true.
We reap what we sow.
Right?
It is beyond me now. The past. The future.
There is only now. There is only this single moment which is right here and right in front of us.
It is morning on my side of the globe.
The universes is vast and endless. Also, my dreams are equally as vast and just as endless or ongoing – so long as I allow them to be.
But life is life. Outcomes are outcomes and as it states in Newton’s third law of motion – for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Sometimes the winds will blow in our favor. Sometimes, life will be kind.
This is true.
Not all days are good ones and not all days are bad.
I’m sure that we both get that by now.
Yet the trip we’re on does not always come with instructions and sometimes the safety features go overlooked – or perhaps I can say that we hope we’ll make out okay or we assume, we risk and we sometimes crash and burn. That’s life.
That’s the teacher . . .
There are times when we realize the inevitable is unavoidable and so – no matter how fast we run, no matter where we hide or how far we go, what we do, or how we tiptoe, dance and sing, or rewardless of how we try and put a spin on things – for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I get that.
And so do you.
Whether we like what we have in front of us or not, or whether we are ready to face the outcomes (or the consequences) or whether we want to deal with the life that’s up and coming, or even if we want to quit, give up, or surrender – still, there is this moment which is here and now.
That’s all we have.
Right now.
We have the right to change our mind. We have the right to change our direction which, by the way, does not mean the past will correct itself just because we have chosen to correct our actions.
But at least now we have the chance to keep the past from happening again.
Understand?
I am certainly far from perfect.
I have made careless decisions.
Some of them were emotionally costly.
Some of them were financially costly.
And some of them were both.
Then again, for every action is an equal and opposite reaction which means that I have the right to equally or oppositely react as well.
This means I can take this moment and allow this to act as life’s lesson. This is another lesson from the teacher – and you remember what I said about teachers, right?
If you do something wrong, they’ll make you do it again until you get it right.
It is funny to be where I am now which is not to say that this is a joke or that there is anything humorous about where I am – however, I am at the entry level of a new change.
I am finding my way through the doorways of a new existence.
I have choices to make:
What do I want to do with this moment?
What do I want the rest of my life to look like?
How do I want to adjust to my surroundings?
How do I plan to improvise?
How do I plan to adjust?
How will I choose to adapt to my surroundings?
What will I do now that I have realized that self-fulfilled prophecies are always as real as we allow them to be?
Ah, the presence of realization.
I get it . . .
Happiness is not a given. Then again, misery doesn’t have to be a given either.
Nothing is a given, per se.
Life is alive and moving.
Even as we speak, for each of our actions there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Okay . . .
So be it.
I was told about the concept of “Surrender to win” when I was a young man. I was told this often and frequently yet I failed to understand this concept (or surrender to it).
Therefore, I fought the uphill battles and went back and forth with the unwinnable fights.
I fought hard. Yes, but to what avail?
I have scars now. I have wounds that no one can see.
(except for me)
Was this worth it?
Are my invisible scars not enough to remind me of where I have been?
Do I need more reminders?
Do I need life to teach me again?
This is the same thing as being called up to the blackboard in school so that the teacher can punish me harder – until I learn my lesson.
You have a past and so do I.
But for every action (or for every fact) there is an equal or opposing side. Therefore, if we have a past – then this means that we also have a future.
This means that unless fate decides otherwise, we have this moment to enjoy, to adapt, to hold, to get ready and lastly, no matter what the scoreboard says, we have the right to redeem ourselves and play this out with all of our might.
We have the right to redeem ourselves, one step at a time.
We have the right to find the wherewithal and the guts, the grit, the might in our hearts and the strength in our spirit. We have the right to redefine our happiness. And despite our sadness or despite our unattractive choices, despite the unfortunate outcomes, the problems and the hardships, and despite our unlikable or unenjoyable situations – we have the right to uphold Newton’s third law of motion.
We have the right to oppose our standings; therefore, we have the right to improve and advance and to recover and overcome.
Yes, I have lent too much of myself to the fights that were not worth having.
I have given far too much attention to underserving moments.
I have absolutely lost too much time and wasted too much of my energy because I tried to change the unchangeable or fix the unfixable.
So . . .
Today, in our view and within our reach and our hearing, I have the right to retract from my old fights. To go forward, I am choosing to surrender to the unwinnable fights.
I am here to surrender to win, which means I am choosing to focus my strengths.
I am choosing to place my energy on rebuilding my life, my sanity and of course – I am choosing to recreate and redefine my happiness.
I am choosing to do this regardless of the circumstances or what they may imply.
Our right and our ability to advance is beyond measure.
I know this.
Although, I get it. Life can be tough.
But so are we.
I admit to allowing myself to drown in the unwanted outcomes. Sure, I’ve wanted to quit. I’ve thrown my share of brat-attacks and hissy-fits.
Sure, I’ve acted the fool. I’ve been a baby.
I’ve been that kid who cried and took my toys and went home.
Yep . . . that’d be me.
I have lost bouts to an inherent loneliness and due to fears or discomforts and due to unsatisfied ventures or even due to outcomes because of my own methods – I have fought my way into corners and with transparency, I have cut off my own nose to spite my face.
Yep, that’d be me too.
Therefore, and effective immediately, I have decided to surrender my weapons of self-destruction. I have decided to relinquish, retire, retreat and to win; I have decided to resign from the battles that did nothing else but leave me out in the cold.
If I cannot control anything beyond my reach, then let me reach for what I can grab hold of.
Let me do this now, which is here, which is this moment that I have with you.
Today is a new day.
The sun is about to rise –
And me, I have a future to make happen
Right now.
The Written Addiction 