So, the question becomes, where do we go from here?
I like this question, although I admit this question comes with different angles. Admittedly, the idea of “where do we go from here” can often be big or so huge that we find ourselves intimidated or so worried that the idea of moving upwards or onwards is far too much to think about.
But still –
Where do we go from here?
If this is square one, or if this is the beginning and since we have to start from somewhere, and even if we are at a disadvantage or facing the world on an uphill slope, how do we find what it takes to take that first step?
If we are talking about happiness or the ability to find happiness and to live a happy life, how do we make this happen?
If we are going to invest in something to serve our best potential, what investment makes the best sense?
It is obvious to look around and see the problems that we have to face.
It is easy to notice the challenges or the constant draws that take our attention away from our best efforts.
It’s easy to find an argument. We don’t have to look far for this.
We can pick a fight. We can find an excuse.
We can rationalize our actions and allow ourselves to sink instead of swim.
This is easy to do.
It is easy to allow our attention to be taken away or misguided by the fights or the arguments and the resentments that plague our thoughts.
Yet, none of this serves to help us reach our best possible potential.
So, here we are at the bottom or after the fallout and while we find ourselves here, sitting in the aftermath of some unwanted moment, where do we go from here?
How do we want this story to play out?
If we are to be the author of our future and if we want this story of ours to progress, what are we willing to do?
How are we planning to make our lives reach the next best level?
If we find ourselves in the face of a new existence or living in a new “normal,” what does it take to improve or to find that extra pizazz so that come what may, what do we use to get us up and going each day?
I go to my thoughts on exercise . . .
I have never been a gym person per se. I never liked working out in gyms or exercising around other people.
Mainly because of my own insecurities and due to my personal or social anxieties, I have never been comfortable lifting weights in front of other people. I curse myself with internal judgment, which means I am worried that someone around me is looking at me and laughing.
I have always been body conscious and insecure.
No, I have never been the person with abs or a “six-pack” stomach.
I was too thin when I was a kid. Now in my adult life, my metabolism decided to tell me to go shit and I became overweight. This has been an up and down struggle for me. Currently, however, I am in the best physical shape in my life. I am at a healthy weight and after losing 60lbs, I find that I am working through some of my challenges, one day at a time.
But to begin with . . .
It is hard to create a routine and base ourselves on the comparison of others. It is even harder when we crucify ourselves and come down so hard because we do not get the results we want, or we cannot seem to reach that next best level, or we lose ourselves to the comparison of others because “they” have better definition or their body is in better shape.
I am new to this routine of mine, at least I can say that I am somewhat new.
I had the opportunity to meet with someone and talk about this thing we called “our” challenges.
Although different in nature and although our ages are far apart, we still reached a mutual level of understanding.
The question I asked for both of us is what does it take to get up, each and every day, and what does it take for us to keep going?
I think about my anxieties. I think about the way my mind can turn inward and at times, my thoughts betray me (if I allow them to).
I used to be that kid in the class who had to read out loud and because I read poorly, I used to stutter severely. And kids would make fun of me.
I’d hear people laugh, which I admit insecurity has a way of exaggerating and amplifying our memory to an even more unfortunate proportion. However, I have always had social fears. I have never been comfortable around large crowds of people and although there are times when I speak publicly, I have terrible fears of speaking in front of groups.
I get that this does not make any sense to anyone.
In fact, this makes no sense at all because I am a speaker and whether I like or agree with the description of being a motivational speaker or not, I am what I am and I do what I do.
I don’t like being uncomfortable because it’s uncomfortable to say the least.
I don’t like living in a constant state of worry or waiting for the impending doom.
I don’t like being afraid. I don’t like believing that I am weak or less-than or unworthy.
Yet, my honesty does not mean that by thinking this way I am weaker by any means. No, I say this on the contrary because it has taken me decades to be where I am.
It has taken every ounce of me to get up on days when my spirit was crushed and for whatever the reason might have been, it has taken life and strength, spit and blood, and all the muscles in my soul to get up and keep going.
I admit it.
I have social phobias.
I have anxiety and depression and other conduct disorders that were either labeled when I was young or undiagnosed or ignored. It is true that there are segments of my past and even my current life where my challenges seem to cast shadows on the purity of color.
I have been asking you the same question –
What is happiness?
Today, when I sat down to offer my thoughts to you and at the moment when I opened up my computer screen to find the blank white page and before typing my first word, the white screen cast a somewhat bluish light as a reflection on my face, and then I exhaled.
I asked the question: Where do we go from here?
I believe this is a valid question.
Where do we go from here?
What do we do next?
How are we going to advance?
And, what are we willing to do to reach the next best level?
I was thinking about the young man I spoke with yesterday. I was thinking about the way he and I discussed our challenges and while yes, I grant that our challenges are different and separate; but still, it was amazing to see that there was a level of understanding.
There is something human about us. There is something humanizing or normalizing about the fact that we all have “something” to deal with.
We all have battles of our own.
We have challenges that we face and while it is clear that we all want peace and we want to be happy –
The question is still valid.
Where do we go from here?
Whether I stuttered or whether I am physically beautiful or if I am strong or if I have rock-hard abs with a six-pack stomach and a body to be desired, none of this matters.
All that matters is that regardless of what comes, I have to be able to find the wherewithal to manifest myself to reach the next best level. I have to dig deep, if necessary.
I have to find that drive within me because no one else is going to find this for me.
Where do we go from here?
Well, if we are at the bottom . . .
There’s nowhere to go but up.
If we want more for ourselves,
then we have to invest more.
So, rather than invest in the problems and rather than focus on the reason why all else is bad and we are going to fail, I have to redefine my thinking and allow myself the right to look for the silver lining.
I have to look for the sun in the sky or the stars in the heavens. I have to appreciate the simplest things and take notice. Otherwise, it’s really easy to go back to that troubled mindset where all else is problematic and me . . .
I find myself sinking deep in that emotional quicksand and drowning in the misconception in my head.
Where do we go from here?
Up, my friend.
Straight up . . .
And there is no stopping.
Not for us.
Okay?
The Written Addiction 