I remember a scene in a movie where a homeless man told strangers, “Welcome to Hollywood. What’s your dream?”
I say that’s a fair question. What’s your dream?
What does it look like? Who’s in it?
And of course, what do you want to do with this?
Do you want to see this come true?
Do you watch this sometimes, like a movie in your head, and rather than live it, you watch your dreams go by on the movie screens behind the walls of your eyelids.
All you have to do is close your eyes . . .
I can say that yes, I want more. I can say that even more, I want more than just the idea of the hope or the passion to move forward. I want to feel this.
I want to experience it. I want the life. I want my dreams to come true.
I want the world and more, of course, it is safe to say that I want it now.
(As in right now)
There are times when I am forced to face the impasse of a basic or regular existence. In which case, I am faced with a choice of what I should do next.
Do I sit and dream and feed my hopes? Or do I forfeit? Do I submit and surrender?
Do I step forward?
Do I make a change?
Do I work with all of my heart and with all of my might?
Do I put my heart out there and place my fate and future in the hands of The Almighty Universe?
Do I dare the line or dare the edge, or do I dare it all and face the fact that while my dreams are real; still, not every dream is going to come true.
Sometimes, you just have to give it your best shot. (You know?)
The world is not always going to meet us at the door. Whether we pray or work or try with all of our might, there is a saying which comes to mind:
Nothing happens if nothing happens.
I can’t say that I know what will come next. I can’t say that I’ll get what I want or that I won’t. I can’t even say that if I do get what I want, that yes, this will be exactly what I want.
But with all of my heart and from this moment on, I would rather reach and try and shoot for the stars than sit by, or to sit idly or be still, or to otherwise submissively hope or wish for something to “happen” so that my dreams will come true.
Nothing happens if nothing happens.
So . . .
What’s your dream?
Mine is not the Hollywood dream nor is my dream the same as it was at this time last year.
Who knows what next year will bring? Who knows where I’ll be or what I’ll see?
I know that my fate has changed and yes, so has my destiny.
Maybe this is the fact that my fate and destiny changed to become part of a greater good.
Maybe this is so because in the end, the lessons I have faced and the trials that I have gone through are part of a lesson. This is my path and yes, this is my dream.
Sometimes, it takes a lot of falling to understand what it means to stand tall.
These are my hopes and this is my heart and the pieces of me which I have never shared before.
I do not have to bend or fold or be like anyone else. I do not have to follow a blueprint that no longer serves me nor do I have to follow a blueprint that never belonged to me in the first place.
I no longer have to walk the line or find myself in a world that is unfitting of my time.
I do not have to comply simply because my old patterns of existence or an old belief system were the chains that held me to a pattern. I can move away now.
I can change. I can get rid of the beliefs that limited my reach or kept me from trying harder.
This is my dream.
Are you ready?
I want to be happy.
I want to find my true purpose and, of course, should this change and alter my perception of who I am or where I have been, then fine.
So be it.
I want to be me.
I want to rid myself of the socially constructed ideas that led me astray or misled and taught me that perhaps I am not deserving, which left me with the sentiments of, “nice try, kid . . . Close, but no cigar!”
I want to be rid of the common thing which we call imposter syndrome.
I want to find love, feel love, be love, and live my life in accordance with that love, both truthfully, loyally, and wholeheartedly, and lastly, unconditionally.
I want to be free of the constant burdens of self-doubt.
I want to live and laugh and love and learn.
I want to find that place in the circle.
I want to find that place where I belong.
I want to find that place or that grand plateau which I call my best level of personal understanding.
I want to find this place so that fear does not take the spirit of my drive and so hope is not robbed by the worries that dreams are not always made to come true.
I was told “We are not in the results business. We are in the effort business.”
Since this is true, then I want to be effort based.
I want to be able to celebrate myself and the steps I take, each and every day.
I want to learn the ways to reward myself, each and every moment, so that even if bad days are on the rise and trouble is on the horizon, none of this matters because, at last, I have come to the understanding of “self.”
As in “my best self,” which means that I am here and alive, which means that so long as I stand and as long as I live and breathe, nothing is dead to me.
Nothing is beyond my reach and no one can stop me from moving forward,
unless I allow it.
I am certainly human and specifically, I am a very real person.
I come with facts and flaws and truths and lies yet here I am, facing another day – just like you are.
I’m not sure what today holds for either of us.
You? Me?
Who knows what’s in store?
All I know is this –
Welcome to today.
I’ll grant you that this might not be Hollywood (right now).
But still, the question remains.
What’s your dream?
Better yet, what are you going to do to make it so?
The Written Addiction 