There are so many variables that we deal with in life. There are the daily things that happen. There’s work. There’s the people we interact with. Then there are the unexpected casualties and the unforeseen tragedies. There’s love or the lack thereof. There’s friends and then there are the friends we have who weren’t really friends at all. There is a bit of everything under the rainbow down here on Project Earth.
There’s life happening. All day and every day.
I cannot account for everything that happens and neither can you. To be honest, sometimes things fall apart.
Oftentimes, we fall apart, at least I know that I do.
Life changes. Our intentions change and we grow or simply, we become more aware of ourselves. We see things that were always there only now we see them differently, as if to become more aware or as if a light came on and just like that, we come to a better level of realization.
We grow. . .
Maybe this is simply an evolution of self and as this occurs, we start to realize that more and more, our actions and our decisions are what makes our world the way it is.
It’s true, not everything will go our way. Bad things are going to happen.
Life is not all happiness and joyful moments and yes, again, I think it is important to say that into each life a little rain must fall.
Sometimes it rains and sometimes it pours and sometimes, good God!
We wonder if the sun will ever show.
I have witnessed my world through my own eyes, which is not to say that I see things clearly.
No, I understand that emotional vision can absolutely be impaired, just like our judgment.
This is also an honest assessment because memory is often tainted or swayed by thoughts, feelings, emotions and interpretations.
We allow trauma to influence our assumptions. We catastrophize.
We second guess ourselves and yes, this happens all too often. We overthink. We overcomplicate, yet the math is very simple.
I think what happens is we come to a point where we finally realize that some of the daily arguments are not worth our time. I mean the feuds, the battles, the unneeded resentments and the constant negotiations in our head are actually the items that drive us insane.
It is hard. I get it.
It is hard when life does not bend or allow for flexibility.
It’s hard to love and not have your love returned.
Rejection hurts.
I know it does.
But –
Life is really very simple.
I cannot say why things happen the way they do. I can’t say why chapters end or why feelings change.
This is beyond me.
I say this is beyond me because if it were up to me – you would neve hurt and I would never worry.
If it were up to me, life would be filled with more moments that put wind in our sails.
But this is not up to me . . .
I can say that it is pointless to try and search for accountability when it comes to the uncontrollable items in our life.
It is pointless to try to understand why life falls apart.
I say this because sometimes, there are no reasons.
Sometimes, the winds just change and sometimes, our eyes open and we see things a bit more clearly.
We start to understand more of what we want and better than that – we come to the understanding that not only is life too short, but time is running out.
Life is vanishing too quickly to force or coerce ourselves or to live or fit in a configuration that is not worthy, not fitting, not suitable, or worth our time and effort.
There comes a time when finally – we are brave enough to declare what we want for ourselves – and so, we walk away and step towards the rest of our life.
I like that idea . . .
I know what I want.
I see this more now than ever before, which is not to say that what I want is immediately available nor is everything possible right at this minute.
But still, I know what I want.
I know that as we grow and as we reshape our focus and address our absolute truths, we come to different levels of awareness which improves our levels of realization.
And first, let’s be clear.
Nothing happens if nothing happens, which means there will be no changes to benefit our life unless we make those changes ourselves.
Nothing happens if nothing happens.
Sometimes, you have to dare the odds.
You have to put yourself out there.
You have to try.
You have to go at this, full-steam ahead, even if the outcome seems unfair or even if failure seems to be a guarantee –
You have to go for it.
You have to work. You have to maneuver.
You have to get up, even when you don’t think you can – or even if you know you can’t do anything -and you don’t have the strength to fight back anymore – you still have to try because the fact that you tried has already defied the fact that you couldn’t try anymore and the fact that you did this shows that you refused to go down gently and, yes, you refused to quit or give in.
Even in our weakest moments, I call this heroic.
I refuse this very same thing.
I refuse to quit.
I refuse to give up on my dream, which is not to say that my dreams will all come true.
I understand that sometimes we ask and we try and sometimes, the answer is no . . .
And that’s fine.
This does not mean we don’t have the right to redesign ourselves or that we don’t have the right to adapt and recover.
This does not mean that we don’t have the right to reshape ourselves, to reset our focus, and to go at it again because a life without dreams is lifeless to me.
Who the hell wants to be lifeless?
Who wants to go down and be submissive to fate or destiny?
I don’t . . .
I don’t want that at all.
I want more. No wait.
I deserve more.
And so you do. Just to let you know.
I want that late night dance.
I want to feel the rush beneath my skin when I see something new.
I want that feeling again – you know the one, don’t you?
I want to be like it was when I was a kid and I got a brand new pair of sneakers – and yes, just because of this, I believed that I could run faster and jump higher.
I remember thinking, look how fast I can run now.
Maybe this was all a myth or maybe this was some boyhood or childish idea, which age decided to come along and take this away like some sort of theft –
But still, who does it hurt?
What’s the harm in having hope?
This does not hurt anyone.
Not me. Not you.
So, why not think that I can run faster or jump higher?
Why not think that I can stand taller or be stronger?
What’s wrong with allowing our imagination to grow stronger?
I see no harm in this.
Do you?
Of course, I know all about disappointment.
I know all about what happens to our soul’s right to imagine when rejection comes around – I know because I learned this a long time ago.
I learned this when a kid named Fred hit me in the face with a snowball and told me that I was a stupid little kid because I believed in the tooth fairy.
I know the dangers of dreaming out loud.
Maybe I don’t need the tooth fairy anymore, but I do need to believe. I need the feeling of a new pair of shoes.
I need the thrill of my dreams and the excess of what comes with this because this is truly the healthiest food for my soul.
So what if I’m just a stupid kid . . .
So what if I want to believe in my fantasy . . .
So what if I want to run faster and jump higher . . .
And so what if I want to live better, harder, love longer and smile as if to defy the predictions that once said “Sorry kid, but this dream ain’t for you.”
I have a life to live and yes, the words, “Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think,” are the only words that come to mind.
The truth is every one of us has had to take a turn. We’ve all hit the brick wall at least once or twice.
We’ve all walked through the fires before. And maybe we’ll have to do that again sometime.
Maybe soon.
But a time has to come when, at last, we realize that yes – we want more.
So, in order to get more, we have to do more. And sometimes, less is more.
Sometimes, more is more. Sometimes, there’s nothing more to say; there’s only more to do – and that’s when we realize that action is our only best friend.
Action –
I love that word.
Don’t you?
The Written Addiction 