I think it is important to be honest. In fact, I say this with all sincerity that we need to come to a constructive conclusion at the end of each day, which means we have to acknowledge our faults and flaws as well as our victories and successes.
As I see it –
We are closer now than ever before. And we have to believe this is true because at this point, we are beyond the halfway mark, at least I think so.
Then again, I suppose this is all relative. Perhaps this all according to our perspective which means this could be the beginning for you and I.
Who am I to take that away?
And I like that too –
I really do.
I like this because the beginning is not so bad. This is the start of something new; in which case, we can decide to go in any direction we choose. We can break away or deviate from our old selves or an old way of thinking. We can do anything now and if we choose, we can create a new path for ourselves.
We don’t have to follow the leader anymore.
As a matter of fact, I love this idea.
There is no reason to adhere to an old or outdated surrounding, which means that we can update our thinking and choose to move onward. We can update our life. We can update the world around us.
I know this sounds a little sappy. Or maybe this sounds a lot like the “New Year, New Me” concepts that people say after the year changes.
But either way, we have the right to be happy and above all, we have the right to make this a priority.
In fact, we can do this right now.
If we choose to.
We can always change and no one can stop us. Nor, should they.
We can always choose to update our thinking and to improve our life. We can improve our surroundings, and in the case of outgrowing our surroundings, we can always make a change,if we need to.
We can always move forward.
There is no reason to apologize for wanting more. No one should have to apologize for wanting a better or an improved life. There is no reason to apologize for wanting to try something new.
Let this be known, there is no reason to apologize for expressing the boldness it takes to carve a new path.
Never be sorry that you want to make a switch or take a new chance.
Do not apologize for this.
Do not apologize for wanting to better your life.
There is no reason to be sorry for this, not at all.
There is no reason to be sorry for the fact that you want more and, certainly, there is absolutely and positively no good reason why anyone should have to forfeit their best interests.
This needs to be said because if (or when) we do forfeit our interests, we eventually find that we never got what we wanted.
We settled . . .
We come to the realization that we never dared or tried and like the saying goes, “A year from now, you’ll have wished you started today!”
This leads to unneeded resentments. Next, we start to play the blame game and point fingers at people because we never got what we really wanted. Be mindful of this.
Be mindful of the disturbance this causes because the ripple effect can linger for years – or even decades.
I can say that I have looked back and said this myself. I can only assume you have too.
We look back and think about the intimidations that held us back or kept us stuck.
Years can pass. Then we find ourselves, years later and, of course, we wish we had said something or done something different.
I always say this – I wish I went right instead of left.
I can see this within myself.
I have made this mistake with intimate and personal relationships. However, I can see how this has lingered in my professional life as well.
I can see how this impacted my life when it comes to my intimidation in a classroom. I can see how this impacted excuses when it came to going back to school or sitting in an educational environment.
Sure, people have suggested that I go back to school and, of course, I’ve always had a thousand reasons why I couldn’t do it. Maybe I said there wasn’t enough time. Perhaps my intimidation is the reason why I looked for an out and so I went with any excuse I could find like, I’m too old now. Maybe I used the financial excuse because money is always tight.
The truth is I often look back and regret that I didn’t start my plans when I initially had them.
So, yes, in the case of peace or being at peace with oneself, it is important to note that we have to be true to our hearts.
We have to honor our wants and needs – and no, the world is not a mind reader, nor is anyone else for that matter.
If we allow ourselves to take a submissive role or if we place ourselves in a lower priority, the world around us will quickly accept this as “our way”. Essentially, we will find ourselves in second or third place, all the time, and always wondering “when is it my turn?”
Never the priority. Never coming first.
Never honoring our truth, our wants, needs, or the dreams we have. How can there be peace like this?
How can there be peace within if there is no priority?
How can we be happy if we allow ourselves to submit or to co-dependently allow ourselves to always take the back seat?
I will say that life is a place of give and take. Our relationships need to work this way too – give and take. We have to give.
We can’t always take.
We have to listen too. We have to hear what’s being said.
We need to focus on the relationships that build us and support us but also, this means we need to invest wisely and understand the importance of a mutually beneficial and reciprocal relationship.
I have listened to people who come to the conclusion that their life needs to change.
I have come to this conclusion myself.
Me too.
They realize they want more.
They come to a level of understanding that they have either allowed themselves to forfeit their dreams or they let this become a lower priority. And finally, they had enough.
In my case, I realized that I had to make my own peace and create my own priorities.
I have listened to people who come to this level of personal awareness. At the same time, I have listened to them explain how this was confusing to the people in their lives.
“Why? We’ve always been this way?”
“Why would you be unhappy now?”
The problem is not that there is a change needed or a change in place. The problem is not that a person wants more or to better themselves – but more, the problem is that the people in their life might not adjust to their growth.
Whereas before, someone else was the priority and now that a change is underway, the people around them are afraid to lose their place in line.
I have seen this . . .
I have experienced this in my own life.
I have openly discussed the need for more or to improve or to be better or to try something new, which is not a bad thing by any means.
I have seen people in my professional life and I have watched their personalities change when people choose to advance or move up.
I have heard people say, “You forgot where you came from!”
Meanwhile, no.
That’s not the case at all.
Wanting more or wanting to improve is often an enemy to the complacent minds around us – but good enough for them might not be good enough for us – at least not anymore.
You might hear someone tell you, “But why? Things have always been this way. How come you never said anything before?”
Just because something goes unsaid or simply because someone allows or accepts something which is substandard, this does not mean that they were happy or unhappy, nor is this rejection, per se. However, at the start of a new life, rest assured, this might be hard for others around you.
This might not be easy for others to accept. However, love is love, caring is caring, and should you be the priority that you want to be or should it be that you are the priority that you need to be, those who love you and those who care will be there to cheer your success – even if your success surpasses theirs or is new or uncomfortable for them; a true friend and true loved one will be your biggest cheerleader.
Now, here comes my transparency and some truthful and raw honesty. I admit to my fault
I have listened with a deaf ear when people explained that they were unhappy.
This was selfish on my part.
I admit that I did not listen or hear what was said and oftentimes, I came to a realization on this which was too late, by far.
I admit it –
I failed to listen when people told me they were unhappy and yes, I admit that I shook my head and thought to myself, “But this is how things have always been.”
I admit to my emotional laziness.
I failed to hear the bravery it takes when someone tells me, “Hey, I want more,” or “Hey, I’m not happy.”
I failed to honor their bravery as well and listen closely because perhaps life went a certain way before – however, the bravery it takes to address a change is by far, one of the most powerful moments of realization someone can come to. Yet, I say this knowingly and admittedly, I confess to being guilty of not listening or honoring a loved one, a friend or a colleague.
That’s what I’m here to improve.
Peace from within cannot begin with unwanted territories or living in an unwanted life.
When people express that they are unhappy – listen to them. Otherwise, you risk losing them, which incidentally – this is usually the fear to begin with. This is why people look to keep others compartmentalized in their life. This is selfish and I admit to this.
No one wants to lose someone.
So –
With that being said, we have to listen. We have to allow our loved ones to grow. More than anything, we have to learn to evolve with them.
We have to hear what we are being told. If we want to keep the people who we love in our life, we have to work with them on this. We have to honor their needs and listen to what they say.
Life is give and take.
Not take or give when it’s convenient.
It is hard to find peace when we fail to honor our truths. The same can be said with our relationships, especially when we fail to honor someone else’s truths.
There’s a funny thing which happens with people.
Everyone wants to be heard.
Not everyone chooses to listen though.
We hear what we want to hear sometimes . . .
But that doesn’t help us now, does it?
I have done this myself.
I didn’t listen.
And I did not like the results.
Perhaps my change or my stages of awareness came later in life. Or, in some regard; maybe I was too late.
But that’s why I’m here.
This is why I allow myself an honest reflection,
so I can improve.
I never realized that peace is not just within me.
This means I have to honor my surroundings as well.
This means I have to honor the people I love, wholeheartedly.
Otherwise, I can lose what I have –
and I don’t want to lose another thing
ever again.
The Written Addiction 