If That Were True – Last, but Not Least

I called this journal, If That Were True because thoughts are not always true. And neither are assumptions. Fears are not always so and opinions are not always fact. But to us . . .
We are what we think we are.
Right?

If I think that I am terrible, then it must be true.
If I think that I am a waste or a loser or an imposter and that any moment now, the curtain will be pulled and all will be revealed, then at best, I will always be on the look out or be prepared for an expected or an upcoming humiliation.
But what if none of this is true?
What if this is only a thought?

I have come to this point, which is where I am now. This is my life. And you have yours. They have theirs and to be clear, we all have our own way of seeing things.

I have come to the end of this journal. I have come to an understanding that although relative, peace can and will be broken down in a subjective way.
My entries have discused the following:
The skin I want.
The skin I’m in
The Life I want
The life I live.

I have come to the understanding that the mind is always the culprit. I understand there are exercises and programs and steps and methods that can help us with self-care and improvements.
Even still, the mind is the trick.
Perspective and the the deception of our perception can blur or make our reflection unclear.
Either way –
We have been fooled.
We have been tricked and lied to.
Sometimes, we have been lied to by ourselves.
No one else. . . .
We have been misled and misinterpreted and misdiagnosed and, at times, we have been misinformed or due to our confusions or misperceptions, we have lost our way along the path because of an internal misfire.

It is clear to me that the mind is the biggest hurdle.
We have our own view of what an obstacle is
(or may be).
We have our own intimidations.
We have our own challenges.

Yet, no one can stop us from trying to be better.
No one can stop us from improving. However, the mind can.
Our fears can hold us back. Our bouts with comparisons and judgments can limit our efforts because doubt causes us to be too cautious to give it our all – to avoid disappointment.

We have discussed the fact that peace is a mindset.
So is hate, So is chaos and crisis.
It’s not like this is new. We all know this.
It’s not like nobody knows that our perception can be tricked or deceived by feelings and emotion.
It’s not like we forget the memories that caused us pain or fear.
We never seem to forget to worry about our past experiences.
We never forget our bouts with shame or the bouts with old tensions or when betrayal and humiliation took place.

We know all about the first time we ever felt pain.
We know about the times of public and personal humiliation.
We know about the times when we were tricked or betrayed into foolishness. 

We know about the details in our memory and how they act like thieves which take away the benefits and the fruits of our true and best version of self.
We all know this, at least I do.

I know all about the times when I punished myself or lived too deeply within my head.
But to find peace – or to remove myself from the excessive chaos that happens in my imagination or to find someplace where I could at least breathe – I knew that while tough and while this seemed to be the impossible task; I knew that I had to learn to navigate away from my old ways of thinking. And I still do.

I am coming to a close.
I have more to say and more to do, which is why I will continue and move on to the next project.

I have to give myself work. Like I’ve been saying: Faith without works is dead.
So?
I don’t want to live like I’m dead or be so faithless that I am too anxious to move.
But be aware that fear is not always the enemy.
Fear can be a friend because the truth is; fear is healthy.
Fear is what senses danger, which is fine, because fear is what keeps us safe.
Fear tells us to watch the line or to be mindful of the edge.
But irrational fears or the unwanted anticipation of fear can be harder than fear itself.
Anticipation is the real itch!

This causes the worry that something might go wrong – and since the mind wants us to be safe, the mind plays tricks and the wiring in our brain starts to notice the change in our chemistry – and when the fear picks up, the body senses drama, as if someone pulled the trigger and the fight or flight kicks in –
Next, we go into safety mode. All the while, nothing has happened yet.
The war didn’t occur (nor did it have to) yet we counted the casualties and mounted our responses and counterattacks before the first shot even took place.
We can blow it all to hell like this.

Peace –

Stop fighting the wars that have not started yet.
Stop borrowing tomorrow’s problems.
Stop being reactive to imaginary battles and most of all, stop playing the movies in your head – they never seem to end well; and more to the point, they have a way of systematically becoming true.

Peace is a mindset.
This is a focus, so –
Mind what you focus on.
Give yourself a break.
Put down the bat. Stop beating yourself up.
Find your path.
Work towards your dreams.
Mind your efforts over your outcomes
and, by all means, when the thought demons come to steal your worth, replace unhealthy thoughts with beneficial actions, and do something (or do anything) that allows you to get out of your own way.

I have more to say and more to do.
And so I’ll do it.

But before I go, I have one more thing to say.
Thank you.
Thank you for always being here with me.
This lets me know I’m not alone and that even if you and I are the only two out there in the galaxy who gets it – at least I know that I am in good company
(with you).