What Do You Know (You’re Just a Kid) Ch. 3

There are advantages that you have now which will someday become the past. So please pay attention and be advised that this moment is more important than you think. Be mindful of who and where you are. But more, be careful of who and what you listen to.
Everything about right now is special and pivotal.
Believe it.

No one tells this stuff. But whether this is spoken about or not, the obvious is still obvious yet there is the weird silence and confusion that we go through, which is unnecessary to say the least.
Intellectually, we understand things (maybe) but there is this oddly distant emotional disconnect and sense of unsureness. But no one talks about this.
Maybe we’re taught that we’re not supposed to.
Could that be it?
Never let’em see you sweat.
Isn’t that the saying?

We are told about these ideas of imperfection. We are taught about perfectionists and to them, if we ain’t perfect, then we ain’t right. And I get it . . .
Ain’t ain’t a word.

No one talks about the obvious.
No one sits us down when we’re young or when we’re confused and gives it to us straight.
What does this lead to?
This leads to a future of silence or struggles that go unspoken.

Do you know what that’s called?
It’s called bullshit.

Somehow, age steps in and age is a bitch.
You are told how to be and how to act.
You are taught about the difference or socially acceptable, and what’s right or wrong, so-to-speak.

No one ever talks about obvious things or the common and typical difficulties.
No, you’re taught to “put an H on your chest and handle it.”
You’re told life is tough.
Get over it. Act accordingly.
Or, put your big boy pants on and shut the fuck up . . . .

No one really explains the heart to us or how it works. We are taught about the birds and the bees. But no one ever explains the pains of what comes after you love someone but they fail to love you back. No one talks about how rejection feels to them or how this hurts or how sometimes, you just want to vanish or disappear.
No one talks about the heart.
Of course, when I say the heart, I want to be clear about this because I mean this in a much different sense. When I say “the heart,” I mean our heart which is more than the artery that pumps blood through our veins.
No, when I say the heart, I mean the core of our life. I mean the source of our actual spirit and the pump that fuels our true existence.
No one talks to us about this.

Think about this for a second – do you really want to know what doesn’t make any sense?

Think about the things we learn or the things that they teach us in school. Think about the classes we take like geometry or even science, or take examples from most of the classes we take in school – or how to find the square root of 17; and with the exception of perhaps a vocational school where they teach an actual trade or skill, the fact remains that we spend years in a school system. At the same time, there are no classes on how to be happy or on how to live or how to mend a broken heart.

I have spoken about this with you before. Haven’t I?
I have talked about this in different groups as well and each time, I notice a sea of nodding heads who agree with me.
I shake my head about this too because as I see it, we are taught the basics in math and how to add or subtract.
We are told that we must go to school so that we can get a job or find a career. But no one teaches us how to be happy. No one warns us about the dream killers or the items that drain our passion and kills our energy.
Nope –
We’re told this is life.
Suck it up and quit being a bitch!
I ask that you kindly excuse the profanity here . . .
But in this case, I am simply allowing my emotion to flow with hopes that my frustration can reach you and help some of this make sense.

No one ever tells you to hold on to the little things.
Be mindful of the moments that make you smile.
Save them like you would the loose change you kept in a piggy bank when you were a kid.
Trust me.
These little things are stories and memories that will add up like special little pennies, bright and shiny, like a collection of tiny successes and believe me when I tell you, these will be there for you in case of an emergency.
Trust me – there are going to be bouts of loneliness or days when you think that you might not have done anything or seen anything. There are going to be bouts with shame and moments when you want to evaporate and disappear.
But this is when you can dip into that little piggy bank of yours.
This is when you can open that treasure chest of memories.
(and smile)
This is when you can allow yourself to remember the good times or the crazy times. And yes, everyone needs to go crazy. Absolutely, we do.
I don’t just mean a little wild every now and again. I mean absolutely fucking crazy.
This is good for you.
This gets the clogs out of the pipes and let’s you blow off some steam.
This is good for the soul and more, these times of wildness or your days in the sunlight and the craziest times of absolute mayhem are perfect for you. These are like coins to deposit in that special piggy bank of yours.

Either way, all of us will have to serve or spend time at work or doing something unpleasant. We all have to do time in one way, shape or form.
We are all going to experience rejection and shame.
Everyone will have at least one heartbreaking crush.
We have to go to class. We have to work when we would rather play.
If we don’t go or if we don’t do the work, then we have to spend our time somewhere else because eventually, we’re going to have to face what we did (or didn’t do).  

There is no life that is all play nor should there be a life that is all work.
Life is not always going to be pleasant which is why I am begging you now –
Hold your memories carefully.
We need to mix this up. We need a moment to howl and to go absolutely nuts.
But work is work.
We’ll have to face this sooner or later.

Understand that the more we delay or procrastinate or the more we push off the inevitable, the more time we waste because the inevitable is always inevitable.
Understand?
This means sooner or later, something is bound to happen.

Like the saying goes between inmates in the prison system – do your time. Don’t let your time do you.
Life is not supposed to be a prison.
But it can be if we’re not careful.
We all do time. Some people serve their time well and in a more literal sense, some people serve their time in an involuntary setting – because somehow, they tried to cheat the system or get over or shake the trail of hard decisions.

And that’s fine.
Nothing comes free.
No one gets away with everything all the time.
You played around too much?
You dodged a bullet or two?
Good.
You pushed off the inevitable?
Well, guess what –
Life never goes away.

So do your time.
Don’t let your time do you.

Again, no one really talks about this. No one explains that life is compiled with different responsibilities – and should you try to push them off, fine.
Just know that no one can shake this forever.
No one eats for free.
Sooner or later, the bill comes at the end of every meal – so eat up, I say.
Just don’t skip on the bill because everyone has to pay at some point – and the beast?
Well, the beast is always around. The beast is eager to cut you a deal.
So long as you know – there is always interest and there is always something in the fine print of every contract. That’s how the beasts in our life will make their money – with interest.
At some point, the bill comes and all the times we pushed off the inevitable or all the times we looked to cut a corner or for every time we looked to “get over” and cheat or to find an easy way out – it wasn’t a problem for the beast.
Not at all because the beast just adds this up as he sits back with a calculator . . . and smiled at the tally.

There was a song that I recall hearing:
Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.
I agree. Enjoy yourself.
Time is always moving.

Work is always going to be there and there will always be some kind of chore or some tasks or some unpleasant thing, or some kind job that needs to be done.
Life will always happen. So, do not avoid this by any means.
So, when it comes to matters of the heart or when it comes to the unspoken resentments or the different matters of emotional crimes; or when it comes to the other debits that degrade our collection, or when we give in to the dream killers or anything else that debuts the find from our virtual or spiritual piggy bank, at some point, we have to know that life has a price.
We pay. But life can pay us back as well –
So, learn to enjoy when you can.
Build your emotional bank account so that you never go broke,
Think of it like this:
Nothing comes freely and into each life a little rain must fall, right?
Right . . .
So then, let’s talk about this.

Let’s talk about the obvious or the elephant in the room. Let’s open up and discuss our wants and needs because no one else is ever going to advocate for our freedom – except for us.
No one else will ever be able to accurately speak for us or on our behalf.

No one tells you the value of our special moments or how they can be limited or that the memories that put a smile on your face are well worth the price.
No . . .
No one talks about this.

But everyone is quick to tell you about how to live or do things.
There will always be someone there to point out the flaws or tell you what you’re doing wrong.
It might seem like no one is there to tell you, good job, kid.
You’re doing great.
Hold on to that spirit of yours, it’s going to save your life.

The critics in this world are more abundant than the air we breathe.
For every compliment we hear, the mind will pick up on a thousand different insults.
And sure –
There will always be someone out there who will look to correct you or tell you how to be or how to do things or how to act or how to behave.
There’s always going to be someone out there who is looking to “school” you on their versions of “what’s cool.”

For some reason, there are times when we submissively listen.
I don’t know why people allow for this.
I have never been too sure why we allow for unsolicited and unwanted advice, especially when this pushes us to think worse about ourselves.

There are times when people will come along and assume they have the right or some kind of authority over our lives – but let me ask you something.
Who the fuck are they?
Where did they get their degree from?
Better yet . . .
Who authorized them (or anyone) to have a say in our life?
Who authorized anyone to have a say in who we are or what makes us happy?

Who allowed for this?
Us?
Was there a vote for this and we missed it?
Who came down off their high horse and anointed “them” or crowned someone specifically as king or queen?
Who is it that created the social powers or the echelon of different stages of popularity?
I have always wondered how this works – and who decided to honor the supposed royalties of our unofficial kings or queens?

I say to hell with this. The sooner we stop letting this waste our special piggy bank funds, the better we will be.

No one told me this when I was young.
No one told me this when I was older either.
No one talked to me about the importance of my identity, which I think is an important topic for a different entry.
But again, for some reason there is a strange draw to the upper, so-called levels of status and prestige. There is the socially pretty and the trusted desirables and the so-called prom kings or queens. Not to mention, there are the commercially beautiful, who are somehow deemed as more valuable or more important than a person who comes with the biggest heart. Yet somehow, they do not register as popularly on the commercialized beauty scale.

I hate this system of thinking.
I did not create it.
But I admit to paying into it.
I’ve had to bust open my piggy bank a few times for this.
But not anymore.

I have said this for years and I have said this to people who I know, love and care for.
But more, I remember saying this to a young girl who was going through a hard time.
She believed she was out of place because her figure and looks (in her mind) were not as aesthetically pleasing as her friends who had a list of boys and hopeful boyfriends.

We have this inaccurate concept of beauty.
It is this faulty idea that creates for our gravest thinking errors. Furthermore, this degrades the word beauty itself because the fact remains – no matter how pretty someone is on the outside, if they are ugly in the inside then they can only be average at best.
You could not be average if you tried. . .
Nothing about you is average or common or commercially cheapened by some popular fashion that fades over time. No, you are absolutely perfect, exactly as you are.
You are amazing, how you are, how you speak, sound, look, walk and talk.
Nothing about you is “Wrong” per se.
You’ve been taught that there is because of the lies you’ve chosen to believe.
All of you is perfect.
However, at the same time, I admit to my struggles when seeing my own reflection. So, I say this to myself as well.
I say this because somehow, we have all been tricked by the social draws of a so-called commercialized phenomenon of what we have been trained to think.
We have allowed ourselves to believe in our flaws instead of our strengths.

We are tricked to assume that only the “pretty” can have their right to smile.
But what if I were to tell you that you are more beautiful than any “pretty” person out there?

It’s true . . .
When it comes to our hidden insecurities or when it comes to our emotional, verbal or physical stutters and our ticks or the so-called abnormalities, believe me when I tell you – nothing about you is average. Nothing about you is short of amazing. And most certainly, nothing about you is imperfect.

We all have challenges. We all have our “things” and we all have insecurities and worries and ideas which cause us to fear that we are somehow less than or undesirable.

But that’s not true.
You and I –
We have been taught lies.
We have been ripped off.
We’ve been swindled of the most precious thing in our life.
This is us.
I’m talking about our true selves –

No one ever told us that we are absolutely perfect.
No one comes along to help us connect the dots or allows us the moment to have a meltdown or speak out loud about the bullshit fears and the angst and the worries.
No one ever comes along to teach us that all of this is only a predicament in the mind.

No one comes along to tell us how perfect we are – and even if or when someone does come along – we never believe them . . .
We never allow for compliments or believe when someone tells us “You’re awesome,” because either we think “they have to say this” or “they’re trying to make us feel better” or “they’re just trying to sell us something.” Maybe we’re afraid to believe them because what happens if we do believe them?
What happens if we believe in them and then what happens if (or when) someone else comes along and tells us that – no, they were wrong and that we absolutely suck – what happens then?

No one talks about this.
But, this is not about “no one.”
This is about us.

Trust me – I wouldn’t be me without you.
You are what makes me perfect.
You are what makes me good because if I weren’t good enough, then I wouldn’t be this lucky to have someone like you in my life.

(See what I mean about you?)

We’re perfect and imperfect in every way.
I’ll close this chapter with this. . .
Never let anyone sell you on the idea that you are less than beautiful.
Besides, anyone who tries to sell is only a critic at best.

So – Be you.
Never be afraid to laugh or smile or be afraid to have fun and enjoy yourself.
Moments like these are precious and worth every penny.

You are absolutely perfect, exactly the way you are –
As for anyone who tries to tell you differently:
This is just another ugly person in the world who’s looking for some kind of unofficial authority in your life – to try and pass their own test – so they can be as beautiful as you.

Understand?

This one is for you, son.
I’ll be here when you need me.