I am a believer in the saying that if you don’t know, then you can’t know, which is okay.
No, really it is.
If you don’t know, then you just don’t know and that’s fine.
The last thing anyone should do is pretend as if you do know, which only proves them to be false, or fake, or any else, but authentic.
Again, this is okay. It’s fine for someone not to “get it” or understand.
No one will ever know exactly what it’s like when it comes to me being me or you being you.
It’s fine if you don’t know what it means or what it feels like to be caught up in something so deeply that no matter what you do, you can’t turn around or go back because you’re stuck.
Here’s another truth for you . . .
We all face life on our own.
We have our own ground. We view things from our own perspective. Compared to some people, hell, I can say that as I reflect upon my life, I had it easy. Some others may look down their nose at me. Maybe some people will scoff or call me “disturbing,” which is fine.
I say fine because again, if they don’t know, well?
They just don’t know.
I love people and their version of the moral compass.
It’s amazing to me.
I love the outside judgments and the judges who could never pass their own test.
I love people who point fingers too. I love the people who doubt the underdog, which is who I am or at least this is who I want to be.
Some people are untried or untested. Some people need to brace themselves in the morning, just to wake up, let alone stand up and get through another day. Some people have privileges and some have disadvantages. Then again, this is relative.
So are we.
Some people will seem lucky to us. Some will live and learn to escape some of life’s more common or major catastrophes. At the same time, no one knows what goes on behind the eyes of someone else’s soul. Safe to say that invisible scars are rooted far more deeply than the scars in the skin.
And here’s the biggest bitch –
There are some who try to identify and portray themselves as if to be all-knowing and still, they have no idea how fortunate they are. And we’re fortunate in some way.
I have met people who survived life-threatening illnesses and somehow this makes them an authority in the world instead of a miracle of science.
But, if you don’t know or if you’ve never felt the weight of your heart, or if you’ve never heard the news and felt the stir in your stomach, and I mean the response that comes when your life just flashed before your eyes – or if you’ve never found yourself in the down-and-outs and scraping by when finally, the finish line approaches; or if you never found yourself at the brink of destruction, devastated and lost, yet somehow your dreams appear before your eyes, and finally, you see the light – or last, but certainly not least, if you’ve never been truly tested and failed, only to get back up again and say “fuck it! Nothing in the world is going to stop me,” then no.
You wouldn’t know what it means or what it feels like to fight for so long or so hard that you had no choice but to overcome adversity.
By the way, this does not make us or anyone an authority.
This only make us who we are.
This is what it means to be tested. This is what it means to stand up and be counted and live through your battles and doubts. With scars and all, lo and behold, you find yourself on the other side of the equation.
You made it which is more than incredible when we think about this because the odds were against us yet here we are – on the other side.
Some people never have to fight like this. And God bless them.
Although everyone is strong in their own regard, some people will never know the strength it takes to stand up and walk – especially when you’re told that you can try all you want – but you’ll never walk again.
(I say this figuratively speaking, of course. Well, in some cases, I suppose this could be literal as well.)
No one will ever know exactly what it took for you to get where you are.
And that’s okay.
Let that sink in.
No one else will understand or see things the way you do.
Nobody knows what the weights felt like on your shoulders or what it’s like to have your knees buckle beneath you when climbing up the hills of life.
So, forget about who has it easy – or who has it rough.
To hell with anyone or what they say.
The right people will find you, the same as you will find them.
Pay no attention to anyone else.
Worry about your own journey.
Focus on the tasks at hand and forget about the different sides of fair or unfair.
None of that matters anyway.
Life does not stop moving and time never stops ticking.
There are no time-outs or do-overs and there is no sequel.
This is your life. This is your shot.
So make it count.
Nobody knows what you endured.
This is your journey.
Do whatever it takes . . .
But be kind to people along the way.
Don’t step on other people’s toes.
Don’t throw someone under the bus to save your own ass.
I offer you this because, believe me, when I tell you – it all comes back to you, tenfold.
Never use somebody for firewood just because your life gets cold.
With a clear conscious, be mindful of karma, and be aware of the debts that can be collected at any time without warning or without waiting for the close of business day.
Be good to people. Be kind because same as they have no idea about the world behind your eyes – you have no idea about the world behind theirs.
And remember –
when it comes to you and the fight of your life, just know that you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You don’t have to brag or boast.
You don’t have to justify or qualify yourself so to speak.
Just know . . .
Know that you fought as hard as you could.
Know that you dug your heels into the dirt.
You swung back, fast and as vicious as ever.
You did what you had to do, just to wake up on the other side of this.
You made it which is pretty miraculous considering how most people quit.
You fought hard and then when you found yourself on the other side, somehow, it was as if the sky opened for a second. The pain was suspended.
The clouds parted to let the sun touch your face.
The weight is gone, which means you’re free now.
You can leave the shackles behind you.
Maybe you don’t realize this or maybe you don’t know how important you are, but regardless of how or despite your pain or suffering you still managed to live to tell someone your story – so you could save their life and they could be inspired to pay it forward.
You beat the odds. That’s right . . .
You broke free and moved beyond the boundaries of your own limitations.
Better yet, you rescued yourself and saved your own life.
More to the point, you surpassed your own expectations and with a full and thirsty heart; you defied the outside predictions that said, nice try kid, but you’ll never make it!
I have been blessed to meet young people who have defied death.
I have met young minds who taught me more about life than any of the adults in this world.
I have met young women who survived the unthinkable aspects of abuse and rape and still, no matter how devastating their stories were – I met them in their classrooms and talked with them about their journey.
These are great people.
I heard about the unthinkable things that people do to others. I heard about the worst things that I could possibly imagine yet somehow, these people manage to wake up, get up and they show up for their life, each and every day, without backing down or asking for mercy.
Some people live a life of great measure. Some people have come from the slums or the lowest end of the world and, somehow, they stand taller than billionaires with their two feet on the ground. Above all, they never quit and they never gave in.
I say it again: These are great people.
I have written about a young woman in the past. However, her story is worth repeating.
She went through a tough childhood to say the least. She was precious. Beautiful too.
She had the eyes of an Aztec princess, or perhaps Incan, or otherwise, she was pure and sweet – like an unblemished, young girl with more promise than the world could offer.
Yet, there was a mark on her, invisible, for sure.
No one could tell just by looking.
However, there was a stain on her life to which there was an abuse and an intrusion like no other.
But nothing stopped her.
She raised a son. She woke up, stood up and she showed up every day.
She never quit and the idea of giving up might have occurred but deep inside, her fire was still to bright – and perhaps this can be tied back to her and the strength from within or maybe her heritage is from a royal line, stronger than others – yet, regardless, I saw this young, precious woman. I was humbled before her. I was weak because in comparison and despite my rise and falls, I heard her speak and listened with all my heart.
She was hurt.
She was bullied.
She was abused.
She was raped and impregnated.
She never gave up.
Not once.
She is my hero.
And you . . . well, if you find this now and you are reading like I’ve asked you to, or if you recall this occasion, because while we spoke, I can recall the way you looked at me during this interaction.
So, I have to be clear about something –
No one in the world has eyes like yours.
No one in the world can see anything the way you do – especially me.
No one in the world can inspire the way you can and as I have mentioned about beauty; skin, soft as ever and eyes - even if Mother Earth was to expose her eyes for us to see, or if the Great Mother of All, as in the Mother of All Creation, holy in her touch and gentle in attitude; even her eyes would be far and a distant second to yours.
No one in the world can see the way you see things.
But please, as precious as you are, delicate at times and weeping too, as if to see like the sky, or like the beauty of a slow-moving rain as it drizzles from a heaven; please, never resign, surrender, or forget who you are to this world.
But as for me, I am only one of earth’s lucky inhabitants who gets the chance to say, “I know you.”
Or, more –
I love you.
The Written Addiction 