You only live once, right?
At least, this is what they tell me and as far as I know, no one has ever come back to me from the beyond or said anything of the contrary.
I know people say things like, “no regrets,” yet, I think that our regrets are part of the ride.
This is part of life.
And why is this bad?
I can say that we learn as we go. No one has a crystal ball, and no one can tell the future. No one has a roadmap that says “turn here.” Even still, life is relative, which means that someone else’s suggestion might only be something that works for them.
But you and I?
We have our own ride to work on.
No regrets. Is that it?
Well . . .
Some of my best decisions were born from my past regrets.
I understand that hindsight is perfect, I have learned to understand that my past is only a lesson that teaches and prepares me for my future. And that’s good.
It is not possible to go through life without saying, “I’ll never do that again!”
This is how we learn.
Isn’t it?
Haven’t we all said, “I’ll never do that again” at least once or twice?
Haven’t we all made choices that we wished we could change or rewind? If given the opportunity, or the choice, we would go back to our past results and do things differently?
But wait . . .
Isn’t this part of life?
I tell you that life is only a teacher. Nothing more.
Life is neither kind nor cruel.
Life has no emotion.
This is only something that we live with.
Life has no opinion on whether we go or stay or if we pass or fail.
Time is agnostic.
So is fate or destiny.
Therefore, if life is meant for living then it is up to us to live.
This means we have to “go at it” as in, right now.
This means we have to live as best as we can for as long as we can because rest assured; time is finite and the clock is always ticking.
Live for today, not tomorrow is another suggestion.
This is something that I was told on more than one occasion.
There is no yesterday anymore and tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet.
Isn’t that right?
No regrets!
Huh?
Well . . .
I have regrets. Of course, I do.
I have things I wish that I said or things that I wish I would have done.
I have moments that are irretrievable and times that I will never be able to reclaim and so—naturally, I have my regrets to teach me a lesson.
I need to learn from this so that I can refrain from making the same mistake twice.
However, and regretfully speaking, there are times when I have made the same mistake more than twice.
There are times when I’ve made the mistake more than three times and more than four or five and the counting continues.
But again, this is life and until we come to a realization that goes beyond the complaints that say, “When am I going to learn my lesson?” and until we come to our own constructive conclusion and learn from them, mistakes are unavoidable.
(So are regrets.)
When am I going to learn?
Why do I always do things like this?
What else has to go wrong before I learn my lesson?
I ask these three questions because I have wondered them about myself.
Who hasn’t?
When am I going to learn?
Why do I keep doing the same thing?
We all know about the definition of insanity, which is famously said that we do the same things, over and over, and expect different results. But, I’m not sure if this is true.
I don’t know if I expect different results or not.
Maybe, I’m just missing the lesson and like any teacher, life is always there to send me up to the blackboard to try again until I get it right.
I know this:
My same old rituals will only lead me to find the same outcomes yet there are situations in life and aspects of my personality that I wish I could change.
But there’s something amiss.
There’s a connection that’s lost or due to a series of thinking errors, I find myself caught in the same pathways, again and again.
There are battles that I find myself repeating and habitual patterns that I would like to change—but again, this why I say that regrets are part of life.
This is why I say that some of my greatest moments and best decisions were born from the symptoms of my regrets.
I regret the fact that I was never upfront with the way that I thought.
I regret that I allowed my thoughts and feelings to be ignored or less-than a priority.
I regret the times when I traded my dreams at a discounted rate because of fear-based thinking and worry-based logic. I regret my beliefs that suggested someone “like me” would never be able to find my dreams or achieve my goals.
But all of this is untrue.
I can see why people settle. I know why this happens.
I can see why people negotiate their terms or compromise their worth, just to get something close to what they want — yet, as close as this is, unless we get what we want—then we never got what we wanted.
Understand?
Hence we walk through life—unfulfilled.
I have seen people trade their lives away and settle for less than their worth.
I have done this too.
(Who hasn’t?)
I have pardoned my emotional laziness by accepting a substandard dream when I knew that I wanted more. I knew that I wanted to touch the sky. I wanted to experience the joy and the thrill and feelings of accomplishment.
I wanted the world or the moon on a string.
I wanted it all. . .
But nothing happens if I do nothing to make life happen.
Life itself does not endorse or oppose what we do.
No, life is agnostic.
Life does not check with you to see if you can make it on time nor does life ask for your input when bad news comes around.
All we know is life is always happening.
So, act accordingly.
Dress yourself in the morning.
Lace up your shoes and get ready to open your door because there’s a great big world out there and just know . . .
No one is going to circle back and ask if you want another shot at life.
This is why I say my best changes were born out of regret.
At this point in my life, I can see how I am closer to the end than the beginning. I am nearing the twilight section and closing in towards the age of retirement.
I am older now and younger in other ways.
I am equally afraid; however, after years of watching the parade go by and after an accumulation of regrets and missed opportunities, at least my will and intent have outgrown my fears to the point where they diminish my doubts
Life is agnostic.
Time has no concern for how we choose to spend it.
This is up to us.
Get it?
So, from me to you, I would prefer to live my life with no regrets,. However, I understand that regrets are the way we open our eyes. This is how we realize that opportunities pass—and should we want to get another shot or a do-over of any kind; then we’ll need to open out eyes and be ready for the next window of opportunity before it closes.
Back when I was a kid, I swore that I had a plethora of tomorrows.
Maybe I did.
But age has allowed me to see that time is fading and life is fleeting.
We are all on the clock and since no one really knows the hour or the day, all I know is that I don’t want to miss another thing . . .
I want to run through a field.
I want to play hide-and-seek with a group of friends.
I want a picnic in the park, like we did when we were young and crazy and in love and wild about life.
I want to dance until the sun comes up.
I want to let someone know what’s in my heart and to ‘leave it all out there,” so that there can be no mistake and nothing would be left up to the judges.
Life is agnostic.
But I am not.
No, I am a believer.
I have reason to believe that while the clock is ticking, there are some valuable things that I can do with my time—limited and all, because on the day of my last breath, I want to be honest and say yeah, sure. I have regrets.
I’ve made my mistakes too.
I’ve made plenty of them.
This is who I was.
Absolutely!
But look at who I am now . . .
Grown and improved, and working on progress from now until the hour of my death.
Amen —
The Written Addiction 