There is something about your smile,
Intoxicating, yes,
Of course I agree.
But more, there is something mesmerizing,
or maybe revitalizing is a better word,
or even reassuring
is a word that make sense to me
because after all, what’s in a smile?
The answer:
More than you know
But please, allow me to explain.
I can say that smiles can inspire hope.
A smile can change the face of your day.
A smile can remind you that yes,
life is happening and yes,
bad things go on,
but somehow despite what happens
and in some crazy way, there is something
(or someone) in this world
who can deliver a smile in such a way
that at least for a second, yes,
we can forget about the pain.
We can forget about the basic and everyday ailments.
We can forget about the tragedies
or the various insecurities
or maybe even the common inferiority complex,
which is honestly more common
than we believe.
What’s in a smile?
Do you want to know?
I would say that a smile can offer reassurance.
I would call this an inspirational movement,
to which you can’t do anything else,
except to smile back.
I will agree though, and I will say this now
and with all sincerity
that while smiles can be contagious,
there are certain people,
and this is limited to a special person
(namely you)
or namely the love of my life,
or namely “my person”
or namely a soulmate
or the yin or yang
or the complimenting piece to the missing structure
of the other half of my life—and this smile,
or a smile from this person, which is you,
or the moment a hand touches the hand
or the way two people walk, arm-in arm,
as if to be declared “together”
or as if to be acknowledged
by a simple display of basic affection
and this would be done or seen openly
for all the world to notice — I advise you here and now,
that a smile from this person is life changing
and mood-altering, like a substance or drug—only,
this addiction is not so deadly
as much as it is necessary to live, or to feel,
or to smile in response,
as if to be connected and swarmed
in the vastness of the most perfect high
whish is love.
And love?
I can tell you that no synthetic drug
could recreate such a perfect high,
nor could anything match the low
or the crash from such a high,
but either way, love is the ultimate high
and you are the ultimate version of euphoria,
at least to me.
My love is not perfect,
and I am certainly not unbroken.
I am not without sin nor mistake.
In fact, I make mistakes well
But then again,
who doesn’t?
No, I am as broken as they come,
and as unfit in some ways, or unhealthy
or imperfect, which means that the edges of my existence
are jagged in some areas
or seemingly unmatchable, but somehow, I know
there is a complimentary piece to match me.
I know this.
I know that I am only another equation in this world,
another person, a lone and single digit
in the great math which calculates the world around me.
I am only another factor to which
I come with my own certain rites of passage
and missing pieces, or with chips and cracks
and scratches that blur or subtract from what I assume
is my truest beauty.
I am broken. I am blemished and sometimes,
perhaps I am tarnished in the sense that I am
like anyone else,
in need of a certain cleansing,
or in need of some kind of removal or upheaval,
as if to explain that I am someone
who needs a change — perhaps not so violently,
but more urgently, and yes, I am sad.
I am hurt and I am broken and fine and working and growing.
And lastly, I am improving and there are times
when I am backsliding or reverting
to old ideas or old standards
or there are times when I find that I revert
back to old default settings,
which I have spent decades
trying to get away from these items,
but I am easily in contact with my past history
which tends to amplify my blemishes
instead of restore
my natural beauty.
I have spent so much time trying
to get away from my past
or the remnants of my regrettable yesterdays
or the old decisions I made which were done
hastily and fearfully. And there are times
when these things are hard to achieve.
But then there are times when a smile comes,
which is wholesome as ever,
and real, and youthful or almost childlike and so beautiful
and cherished in a way that I become healed
and free from danger — and this is the smile
which is worth everything
to me.
This is the smile that inspires the rebirth of my sanity.
This is the smile that pushes the button
or sparks the fuse
to ignite the flames of my lust
(or desire).
This is the smile that motivates the system
and pumps the blood through my system,
which, to me, I suppose this is my way of saying
this is my lifeline.
This is me telling the world
that there is only one person who can do this—but,
should you be lucky enough to have this person,
or love someone like this equally;
trust me when I tell you
that when this person smiles at you,
it’s like there is nothing wrong and there is no pain.
I remember wondering
if anything can cure the illness of men or woman.
I always wondered if love can conquer all,
and the jury is still out when it comes to these questions
but, in fairness to the question,
and in fairness to my soul, I
have to say that while cancer is deadly,
there is nothing as lifesaving
as the smile from the person you love the most.
So
Smile at me, please.
I know that nothing can be fixed just with a smile,
but I can promise you this:
Your smile helps me more than you know.
Believe me.
And lastly,
I go back to the question
which I asked in a previous verse —
What’s in a smile?
My answer:
Is you . . .
The Written Addiction 