Is there any hope in pain?
Or is pain part of hope?
And perhaps both are true
or interchangeable
and perhaps pain is part of learning
or understanding
and perhaps pain is part of our awakening
to which, we wake up
and we learn that we have to change,
or if nothing else,
we have to go about our dreams
a different way.
I say this is basic and true
or in no other uncertain terms,
this is hope
or hope in the raw.
I am not so certain that all dreams come true
or not.
However, I am certain that my dreams from years ago
are not the same as my dreams today.
At the same time, the core of my dreams
have never been any different.
And what’s my dream?
It’s to be happy . . .
or to be fulfilled
or if at minimum,
my dream is to live
as best as I can, fallen or recovering
my dream is to continue
and to never quit,
by any means necessary.
It is not my place to define what happiness is
to anyone else or to say that my happiness
is better or worse than someone’s
or that I am more
or less-important.
It is not my place, nor is it my right
to decide what happiness is for anyone else
and at the same time, even for those
who share the same pictures
or versions,
or even if our views of happiness
are close in shape
or matching—
nothing can prove that my dreams
or that my vision is the same,
and even if we have the same goal
in mind,
the one thing I know,
which is something that I truly know,
is that having the same goal
does not always equal the same drive
to achieve it.
I have seen this happen before,
to me, and to others as well.
There are people
who will coincide with our life
and there are people who will run parallel.
There are people who will overlap from our past
and those from our past who return
and those who leave or exit for some
unforeseen reason, or, and in many cases
there are those who we will
separate from because in the end,
or in the defense of our best self
and to build or achieve an ongoing sense
or happiness—there are people who
will come and those who will go
and behind each reason is a lesson.
The idea now is to realize
that into each life, a little rain must fall,
which is how the saying goes,
and into each life
a lesson must be learned,
and as our eyes open,
we will take note
that people are revealed,
and as our levels of awareness change
so will our levels of conscious understanding.
I understand the need to split or to sever
or to go a different way.
I understand the breakups.
I understand the divorces
and I understand the ongoing rifts
which stop people from speaking again,
as in, never speaking again, and I
understand the reasons why.
I understand that hope is a big glass
of faith and dreams,
mixed and filled to the brim
and yes,
my hope is that my cup runs over
and that the lessons
from my pain or my past
are strong enough to allow me to learn;
therefore, now that I have learned,
I can realize that the path ahead of me
is set to find a new destination
which entitles me to define
a new dream, or a new love,
and essentially,
this allows my to build my hope
so that when the sun shines and the morning is beautiful,
I can open my eyes to a new day
or a new dream.
I want to be able to open my eyes
and say yeah—this is who I was
back then.
But ah,
this is who I am now.
This is what I went through.
This is what it took
and this is why I held on tight
and I never let go because whether this is
or was in my hands
or God’s or in the hands
of some power which is greater than myself
such as the hands of fate and destiny;
or if this is only fate’s way of playing the flute
and like the Piper, I followed along
trying to find my rhythm and as a means
to perfect my dance, at least I gave it my all
because someday,
hopeful or doubtful
either way—someday,
I know that I’m going to
wake up on the other side of this,
hopeful and happy,
and soon enough,
I will be better
and stronger than ever –
I swear to this –
So help me god . . .
or so help me to
whomever is up there
or out there,
and listening –
please hear my call.
I know that there are trials ahead,
and there will always be a wake
behind me. . .
but if I may.
or if the powers that be are on my side
and the power to be better is simply on me;
then let me take this with me.
let me learn from here
and say goodbye to what was.
Let me go onward
or move ahead
and learn from where I was
so that I can be someplace better
and, of course, let me do this with all of my heart
to be one day nearer
and one step closer to my dream
Amen ~
The Written Addiction 