They tell me that procrastination is a symptom for something else.
And do you know what I say?
I say they’re right.
I can say that I procrastinate. I say there’s a reason for this. Whether the reason is the way I value something on my priority scale or whether I delay, or whether I pause out of simple laziness or defiance is always tied to a fear or some tension-based thought or an idea that leads me to overthink or fail to launch.
When?
The truth is I want to run. I want to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I want to be like Superman too, or if not him, then at least let me be my own superhero who is unstoppable, and undeterred, or unafraid.
I want the world too.
And yes, I want it now.
But there’s a trick to this and tricks take work (or practice).
When are you going to get your life together?
I think this is question is common.
When are you going to start your diet?
I’ve asked myself this question several times.
When are you going to make yourself a priority?
This is another good question.
When?
I have seen different sides of life. By the way, so have you.
I am sure that both you and I have gone through good times and bad. We have all seen our fair share of disappointments and we have come to a crossroad of some sort.
We have all been faced with tough decisions. We’ve had to make choices that are neither enjoyable or fair.
We’ve all been hurt. We’ve all been let down or beaten and broken.
We have all had to face the facts and make choices, regardless of who or how this hurts.
Otherwise, we sit in the sameness of an unfulfilled life.
I am sure that there is not a soul in the world who has never felt the pains of heartache — or heartbreak.
I’m sure there are people who have wished and dreamed but they paused, and they waited and watched the world pass them by while they excused themselves with a long list of rationalizations.
I have listened to the lists (of my own) or from others who rationalized and they improvised enough to settle on something for less or lower in value. But why?
Perhaps this is because their fears are too insurmountable to take the dare and give their dreams a shot. From a more subjective approach, perhaps my fears of rejection or sad failures were too heavy to allow me to walk tall and defy the odds.
It is human, of course, to fear loss or to fear the exposure of failure or humiliation. It is a human desire to want to be right or to want to fit or to make sense. Yet, it is human to fear that, somehow, we are only an imposter (at best), or that somehow the covers will pull back or the mask will slip and thus, we will be revealed and uncovered or, better yet, we will be unprotected and perhaps too vulnerable to ever save our face.
I am no stranger to everlasting shame.
But now is a great time to break those ties.
However –
Sometimes, I just “can’t wanna do it!”
That’s right. “I can’t wanna do it!”
I say this jokingly because this was something I said with a fellow co-worker for years.
“I just can’t wanna do it.”
This is a common thought when it comes to the unwanted life.
I think about this and what I used to say.
I can’t wanna do it.
I think about the energy behind the words we use or the feelings we have.
I think about the urge and the need or the desire for more yet, there is something burdensome or more like an emotional or spiritually lazy symptom which is tied to a thought or feeling and an idea.
But seriously . . .
When?
When are you going to make the moves to improve?
When are you going to decide that it’s your turn now?
When are you going to prioritize your happiness?
I have asked these questions with both an empowering and intimidated sense because I have asked myself the same questions.
And yes, I have asked them more than once.
When?
I know all about the trips and falls that come with anxious thinking or anticipatory anxiety.
I know about the anxiety attacks that take place when considering the fears of the unknown or the upcoming future.
I know about the fears that threatens with unknown features and, literally, the mind sinks into a catastrophe and the worst possible scenario.
Some people say this is depression.
Some say this is anxious or depressive thinking.
I say this is human.
But also, I say this is the challenge which holds us back and keep us from breaking the sound barrier.
Understand?
This is what holds us in “still” mode and keeps us from the supersonic feeling of flying high and moving beyond the celling of our own limitations.
I have sat with people who were no different from me, or who wanted more; only, they never allowed themselves the right to try or the right to dare the odds—and sure, even if the odds are against them, and even if the battle is uphill or if the battle seems unwinnable — all is only lost if we lose before we even try.
Trying in and of itself is a victory. . .
I am a person who has given in to my own personal intimidation. I have balked and paused and stalled and procrastinated. I have allowed my emotional settings to control my personal and physical output.
I agree.
Procrastination is a symptom.
Sometimes, the symptom can be as simple as . . . well, I just don’t want to do it.
Even though I have to . . .
I don’t want to and since I’m too old to throw tantrums, this is my passive/aggressive tantrum which speaks volumes, if I listen.
I was more than 60lbs heavier than I am now.
I am in the best physical shape of my life.
I am at the gym, five times, every week and I practice Jiu-Jitsu at least three times a week, and twice on Sundays.
There are several excuses which come to my head when thinking about being lazy.
I can excuse myself because I am up too early or I’m too tired or too sore, or something happened at work, and now I’m too pissed off.
But I’ve been through that before.
And to be clear, my blood pressure was through the roof.
So was my cholesterol.
My blood sugar was so high that it was a wonder that I didn’t go into a diabetic coma.
I often ask the question:
What must happen to make “this” a priority for you?
For me, it was finding out that I could die this way . . .
Alone, unhealthy, and out of shape and sad or depressed.
What must happen to make “this” a priority?
I emphasize the word “this” so it can become broad or personally adaptive. I do this on purpose, because the question remains.
When is it your turn to have the life you want to live instead of “just” simply living the life you have?
Because if the answer is not now —
Then when?
The Written Addiction 