There are times when we go crazy.
But don’t worry.
I’ve been doing this for decades now.
I’m pretty good at this too.
But—
Despite the pain or despite the rumors and or the ugly tragedies we find; and despite the drama or the grit in our teeth or the dust on our tongue, or the rumble of an empty stomach because the stress is too much to let you eat; and lastly, regardless of what is, what was, or whatever will be and whatever comes ahead, a time has to come when the surroundings mean nothing and neither does the pain.
We have to endure from here.
We have to find a way.
Understand?
There has to be a moment.
Something pivotal.
There has to be a time when we realize that the heat is too much.
There has to be something we can do.
Something redeeming.
Or freeing.
There has to be a break in the clouds or calm in the storm. There has to be a way to find an exit, like an off-ramp to get away from the chaos of emotional traffic.
We can leave or escape and brave the side-roads or the so-called shortcuts which are probably not so short—but who cares?
The long shortcuts are better sometimes. Besides, they sure as hell beat sitting in the traffic of crazy thoughts and frustration.
The exit or the escape to the off-road is better than sitting in the gridlock of chaotic ideas that magnify the thoughts that build up in our head — and drive us crazy.
There has to be a way.
No?
Regardless of what “they” say or do, and the word “they” is used intentionally and broadly to allow for an all-encompassing affect of the minor catastrophes or the people, places, and things that we deal with.
Regardless of the critics or the lies we hear (or tell) and no matter what happens to us, and no matter what the future seems to be —there has to be an “out,” or a “way,” or a “route,” or some off-road existence to get free from the binds which hold us down.
There has to be an alternative plane of existence.
You know?
There has to be a place where we can say, “ah . . . that’s so much better!” and somehow, we are indefinably gone and unreachable for the time being.
Maybe now, we can catch our breath.
Or just breathe and say, “ah!”
More than ending anything in the physical sense, or spiritually or emotionally, or more than the desperate cries and more than the plea for sanity in an otherwise insane world, or despite the insane times, there has to be a relief valve that allows us to break or ease the tension.
There has to be some kind of “oh shit!” button.
Yes. That’s it!
I have said this to you before,
no?
We need an “oh shit” button that we can push.
It’s almost like those fire alarm boxes which say, “in case of emergency, break glass.”
And there’s a lever inside that you pull down to strike up the bells as the sirens go off.
Sometimes, you just need to break the glass.
You need to pull the lever.
You need to pull the alarm and let the bells ring.
What I really mean is, you just need to scream. You need to let it out or in other words, you need to jump out of your own skin, as if to unzip this whole uniform we call ‘the body” and as quickly as we can, as if the suit was on fire, we have to be outside of ourselves, at least for a little while, just to beat the heat.
Some people call this anxiety.
Some call this depression.
I call this Tuesday.
A pot or the kettle boils and, at some point, the heat becomes so much that the pressure is incredible. The lid starts chattering and dancing.
The steam is building so high that heat can pop.
The kettle can explode.
But the mind is no different.
Neither is the heart.
The world can be cruel and unusual and yes, there is such a thing as cruel and unusual punishment. I say this, even if there is no crime or crime of the heart, there are things which are unfair, or cruel and unusual.
Life is a bitch.
Yes, it is.
But life can be pivotal as well.
That’s why we need the “oh shit” button.
We need that special alarm, in case of emergency, so we can break the glass, and pull the lever to get the hell out of where we are.
We need this, at least for a minute, and for the minute, or as long as we can last, we need to breathe.
As if to say, “ah!”
We need to feel the wind on our face. We need to feel the sun on our skin or watch the sunset or see the sun come up in a clear sky.
(Understand?)
This is one of my favorite things to see.
Ever see this?
The sky is early to rise, and the sun is evolving enough to show some color along the horizon, which is so pure and so pretty, that even the moon remains on stage, just to watch the views that take place when the dawn shows its light.
I love these moments
I have a handful of them which stand out in my mind.
Some are inland. Some are at the shore.
Some are at sea and all of them are memories to me which I keep in the chest pocket of my soul’s regard.
We need something like this.
We need an out.
We need a path of least resistance—or a path of no resistance.
None at all.
Maybe that would be better.
Or maybe there’s a need to get away, like vacation alone, with no one else, just to be free.
I’m sure we all want this, to be free, as in free from the incidentals and free from the grand insecurities and the daily thinking errors.
Perhaps we need to get away from the fake gestures we see from our so-called friends and our daily circle of influence and the fair-weathered people who smile with their hidden knives for the backs of unexpected people.
There will always be vultures and leaches and those who prey and lurk behind the scenes. And there will always be some kind of unfair notion or some kind of uncomfortable thing that goes on.
Pain is real and so are sad thoughts. And so are the dark thoughts.
We all know this.
But the “oh shit” button . . .
The need for this is as real as it gets.
Trust me.
– in case of emergency
– break glass
– and pull the lever
(before it’s too late)
The Written Addiction 