If it is true that much of life is beyond our control and if it is also true that we have no control over people, places and things, then fine.
We have to live.
We have to find a way to keep going. Therefore, in an effort to pull off our trick, all we can do is live life to the best of our ability and act accordingly.
That’s it.
Act accordingly.
I love this idea.
It is not my position to put myself above or below anyone. However, I am a fan of truth. I am a fan of real people. I am a fan of the person who can stand on their own and say, “yes, I did this.” Whether this was good or bad, right or wrong, i am a fan of someone who can stand up, truthfully, and say yes . . .
this is me!
I am a fan of the underdog. Perhaps this is because I understand what it seems like to be behind or to believe that I am not as good (or good enough).
I am more inclined to listen to someone about life when they share about the aches and pains of their life’s experience. I want to hear about real life. I want to know how people overcome their worst and become their best.
This is an excellent trick to pull off.
If this is life, as we know it, and if it is true that no one gets out of this place alive, then please, tell me the exact natures of your wrongs. Tell me how you learned to overcome them and leave them behind you.
I want to know.
I know there are good people in this world. I know this is true, the same as I know that there is a sky above me and dirt beneath my feet.
I also know that some of the best people I know have done bad things.
I like this.
I like this because it allows me to realize that I am not my past.
I am not my mistakes. No. I make mistakes though.
The trick to remember that my mistakes don’t make me.
Some of the best people I have met on this earth have soil beneath their fingernails, as if to prove that no one is so clean and so righteous or high and mighty.
I love this too.
I love how this allows me to give myself a rest because I don’t have to be better than anyone or allow myself to be beneath anyone, simply because I lived a different life.
We all have our things.
We all fuck up and, like I said, some of the best people I know come with a long list of fuck-ups, which is great to see because together, we can remind one another that we are human and, as such, we are imperfect.
There is a reason behind our actions. There are reasons behind our mistakes, but it is better to learn from this and from people who can be honest about this, so that first, we can let the judgment rest and secondly, we can allow ourselves the right to heal and improve.
We all have good qualities and shortcomings.
We character defects, flaws and imperfections. While I have always understood when people find the need to point a finger and expose the flaws of someone else, no one among us is so clean or perfect.
Everyone has dirt, even if you can’t see it.
I have been part of a world where it is not only helpful to talk about life, but this is lifesaving as well. It is lifesaving to speak with people about us, as in as we are.
We need to speak about this with the right people, as in real people. They are the lifesavers. They are the salt of the earth. They are the flavor of the world, peppered and real, and perhaps not socially or commercially beautiful, people like this are the truth of this world. Better than anything else, these are the people who can say who they are.
These are the real ones. The humble ones.
These are the people in our life who can claim and own what they’ve done, good or bad, right or wrong, and they still manage to keep their head up.
I love this. I love this because I love anyone who can stand tall no matter what their past might say.
Where have all the good guys gone? Are there any of them left?
My answer is yes.
But am I one?
Am I a good person?
I am. However, I am equally charged and convicted of my wrongs which I admittedly and openly disclose because I’m not perfect.
Not at all. Not by a longshot.
Every so often, you meet someone. You come across someone who inspires you or encourages you to believe in hope, even when times or life appears hopeless.
These are the people who innocently come along, with no agenda, and they show you a different view. They inspire you that while times are hard, life is out of our control so act accordingly and live life to the best of your ability.
Strangers will come to us, either randomly or unexpectedly. When it comes to life, or when it comes to fear that life is always going to be ruined or tainted, or when it comes to the belief that people are inherently bad or selfish, or in the case of love, or if true love can exist at all; sometimes, you come across people who share themselves or show you a view of their life—or the life that they had.
This one’s for you, Mr. L.
It is not my place to say that I understand loss from your perspective. It is not my place to say something like, “hey, it’s going to get better.”
However, if I may and if this means anything to you, I was thinking about the way you discussed your wife.
I was thinking about the way you talked about her and the way things are now, which appeared to be absent or void.
I saw you. But more, I heard you.
I thought about the emptiness on the other side of the bed, and how this is cold or an untouched section of a mattress, which is where her warmth used to be.
It is rare to see or hear about love like yours. I am not one to claim to be great in the ways of love. I am scared and often angry. I do not point fingers or assign blame nor can I blame anyone for the things I’ve said or done. I can only act accordingly.
My past is my past and often, I can see how my past gets in the way of my tricks because I lose myself to unhelpful and insecure thinking.
Love is real. I believe this.
Love is living and breathing but also, love can never die., at least not true love or real love.
I understand this now. I understand the interworking and the mutual need to keep love alive and working. Nothing can survive in a vacuum.
I can see how my past has drowned and suffocated me or, at best, I can see how unhelpful thinking can lead me astray. And it has, more than once.
I can also see the heartbreak that happens when love still exists, but the body is no more.
I understand this from your point of view.
I suppose I just don’t want to be cold anymore.
It is true that life is energy, and as it was famously said by Albert Einstein, energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Therefore, true love can never be destroyed.
If life is energy and so is love, and if neither of the two can be destroyed, then it is our task to learn how to live, contact, and to coincide with this energy. Thus, no matter what, where, or how far we are from the Gates of Heaven, our love and the love of our life will never leave us and thus, she will be with you. Always ~
Thank you, sir.
My apologies for the burden of this entry. But it was you who sparked the light of hope in me simply because it was you who showed me who you are and how love is real.
With all of my heart,
Thank you.
The Written Addiction 