I was sitting with someone and listening to them tell me about the things they had to face. They were at the end of their rope and nearly at the end of their life.
I heard about the money they lost, the troubles they had, and the people that turned against them. They explained how this was self-inflicted.
I can remember the expression on this man’s face.
I assume this is what it means when people say that “they’re down and out.”
And I can appreciate this.
I’m sure we all can.
We have all been down and out. We have all been beaten. We all experience loss or disappointment. Adversity does not discriminate.
Even if we do. Adversity does not.
This is something that you can trust.
This is not to compare my problems to yours or yours to mine. This has nothing to do with where I come from or how much money I have in the bank.
Adversity does not care if I want more time or if I need a break.
No.
It is clear to me that while I have struggles and while I have bouts and moments when anger gets the best of me, or my fear gets the better of me; I have to realize that this is part of life.
At least, this is part of my life.
Life does not consider the ideas of fair or unfair.
Life does not think about us or consider our feelings.
No. In most cases, life happens.
It is clear to me that if I run into the same problems then I must be repeating the same measures, which lead me up to the same place. This means I have to change.
This also means that I had a hand in my fate.
And yes, we always do.
It is also clear to me that there are times when life is no different from a perfect storm.
There’s no way out. The rain is too heavy, and the wind is too cruel.
Life shows up to allow us the chance to recognize the combination of our choices and actions.
Life is a constant teacher and as such, if you remember how it was when we were in grade school, teachers will make you repeat the lesson until you get it right.
Life is no different.
Life shows us lessons.
Don’t worry if you don’t learn the first time.
Life will come along to teach you again.
But like staying after class, life doesn’t make the lesson easier.
Just more punishing – until you get it.
Understand?
There is a call for change.
However, even in the case of my reactions, or reactionary thinking, to which I move in calculations, based on biased assumptions or when I find myself operating according to my fear; it is clear to me that for every action, there is a reaction. Therefore, I am reacting even if there is nothing to react to.
Yes, when dealing with the combination of consequences and emotions, or in the moment of heartbreak, or when I am down and out—there is only one of two things to do.
I can suffer and sink and drown in the swamp of what I call emotional quicksand. Therefore, I can submit to loss and submerge myself in the sad rejection of loss, or believe that this was my fault and that fate turned against me.
Or I can decide to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I can move, or stand, or face the storm, until the winds die, and the storm blows away.
I was thinking about a person who sat with me and told me about their life and how the climb ahead of him was enough to make him want to quit.
He was down and out.
“I have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable,” he told me.
I have heard this said before but never in this regard.
I must have heard this a thousand times, but I remember this time above all else.
Perhaps this is because that person has passed.
He lost his battle to a popular and social virus.
Whether his exit was self-inflicted or otherwise is beyond my reach and none of my business.
He was beautiful. He was a friend.
But more, he was unable to get away from himself. He was unable to get away from his own internal voice, to which, yes, I can relate.
Those whispers seem to scream.
Don’t they?
I can relate to thinking and reliving fights in my head. I can relate to the doubts which unravel and take on a position in my brain. I can relate to the internal voice which builds momentum, as if to both manipulate the truth and monopolize my thinking. These are the whispers that hijack my best interests with threats of fear and outrage and weapons of self-destruction.
It is clear to me that we want to be free. We want to be free from pain. We want to be safe. We want to be happy. We want to understand why things happen and find accountability when something goes wrong, or when life turns sour.
Sometimes, the answer is as much as we wanted something, things change. Life changes.
The keys to the cylinder of old hopes no longer matched.
But this is adversity.
This is when we have to make the choice.
Sink and submit or pull a trick and stand up and overcome.
Adversity does not care about our comfort.
That’s our job.
If adversity is an enemy, or should I say if adversity is one of our enemies, or if this is one of many, then I say again, we can either become engulfed in a weak submission, or we can take a stand, despite our losses. and get back up.
We can be lifeless like a dead leaf that trails along the surface of a moving stream.
Or we can dig our heels in the riverbed. We can become the stones that cause the rapids—and dare I say it, rather than succumb to loss or quit and give way, we can defy, we can revolt, or we can refuse the worst and turn our problems into the possibility to recover.
We can lose and thus, we can regain what was taken away.
We can get back to where we want to be.
We can be who we need to be.
No one can kill us. No one can douse the fire of a burning heart.
Not mine and especially, not yours.
No one can solve the hunger of your insatiable appetite, and nothing can quench your thirst on your journey for more.
So be hungry.
Be thirsty.
Live this way.
Push yourself.
Life hurts. Pain hurts.
Therefore, make discomfort your friend and nothing can hurt you again.
Learn to accept discomfort.
Learn to endure.
Learn to find the secret of your trick.
Know why?
Because when it all comes down, or when your back is to the wall, or if your ass is on the floor because you’re down and out, this is the only way you’re going to be able to get back up.
Ignore the pain. Ignore the doubt.
Pay no attention to the wind or the rain.
Disregard the intimidations and pay no mind to the enemies at the gates.
Do not listen to the sad or the frightened whispers that either hold you back or talk you out of trying in the first place.
Do not give in because of all your regrets, quitting is the regret that can outlive us all.
Not doing or not trying is the deadliest regret.
Do not go this way.
it’s a killer.
Be oblivious to the obstacles until you overcome them.
See them as an eye-opening matter which has allowed you to change an obstacle into an opportunity.
This is how you learn to overcome and succeed.
Shut your eyes. See your goal.
Turn a deaf ear and do no listen to the ideas like, blame, shame, fault, guilt, or regret.
Put your chin up.
Get up. Face the day.
Face what happened.
Face what is and allow this to change into what it will be.
This is adversity
and, yes, rest assured that adversity plays a trick on us.
Know that this happens all the time.
But that’s okay.
I have a few tricks up my sleeve too.
So come what may.
Let the storm begin.
I have a few answers.
I have some bumps and bruises.
I have some cuts and scrapes.
But that’s okay.
I have a few tricks up my sleeve.
I have my secret of endurance
and I have you.
If you think about it . . .
Do I really need anything else?
Last gulp of coffee.
Good.
It’s time to start the day.
The Written Addiction 