What would you say or do if you had the chance to go back and do something over again?
How many times have you wondered about something like this?
What changes would you make?
If you could redo your past and reshape a memory, what would this be like?
Where would you start?
I recall the advice I’d get when I was younger. I remember the common suggestions from older people. And of course, I would roll my eyes.
I remember being told that youth is wasted on the young.
And it is.
I can see this now, of course, because age allows us the benefit of hindsight.
Then again, maybe age is just a number.
Maybe youth is not so far gone.
Maybe it’s a good idea to get back out there to run around and chase fireflies when they first appear at the beginning of summer.
Remember?
Maybe we need more wonder in our lives.
Maybe we need to simplify the complications that we call an everyday life.
We can get back to the basics, if you’d like.
I don’t think this would hurt us.
Maybe we need more music. Of course, we do.
Or maybe we need to dance more or, at minimum, maybe we need to listen to a song from our youth. Maybe we can find a song from a good time, and maybe we need to drive away in a car with the radio as loud as it could be. And we can sing too.
You know?
Good or bad, no matter what our voice sounds like, maybe we can let ourselves go.
I think this would be brilliant.
We sing like we did when we were kids, and who knows?
Maybe this can set us free, at least for the duration of the song—or maybe I should say “songs” depending upon how far we chose to take this or how far we let ourselves go.
I think this would be a great idea.
I’d love to let myself go.
It is beyond me to think about the reasons why we stop playing games. We used to have fun. But age comes along and tells us, sorry, you can’t play with toys anymore.
I disagree.
Why did we stop having fun?
Why did we stop doing the things that leave a smile on our face or make us happy?
I am unsure when it was. I don’t know the last time we played Hide and Seek, or Red light, Greenlight.
I don’t know when the last time I played Simon Says or Kick the Can. I don’t know the last time I had some cookies and then took a nap — and I’m not sure when the last time I wore a costume on Halloween and stood at the door to say trick or treat.
I don’t know why I was in such a rush to grow up. I wanted to be cool, I suppose. I wanted to do grown-up things. I don’t know why because, literally, the grown-up world is not all it’s cracked up to be.
I haven’t gone on a treasure hunt in like forever.
And I’d like to do something like this.
You know?
Or maybe we can go on a class trip, or we can pretend to.
I understand that class has been dismissed for quite some time.
But we can still play, no?
We can take a trip somewhere and it can be like it was, remember?
We can skip work for the day, just like it was when we skipped class.
We can go to a museum, or maybe we can go see the Intrepid over on the Westside Highway.
I’ve always wanted to do that . . .
If given the chance, what would you change?
What would I do over?
What would I change?
I suppose I wouldn’t be who I am today if I wasn’t who I was.
However, if I could advise me or you of anything, or if I could whisper in the ear of someone young, or someone who was like me, a dreamer, a hopeful soul, eager to learn or to see new things, and eager to laugh without wondering if my laugh is imperfect or my smile is too crooked — or if given the chance to be a voice of reason, I would probably say, “Don’t be afraid.”
Go, be and do.
I would say don’t listen to them, and by “them,” I mean the naysayers or the critics or the social and private bullies. I would suggest to stay away from the dream killers.
And don’t give in.
Do not trade yourself away and never, never, ever settle for less than what you dream for.
Do not let a moment pass or lose an opportunity to live and love. Whenever possible, spend time with the ones you love the most.
Never leave anything up in the air—say what you mean and mean what you say, and whenever the chance arises, hold hands, hug, always give a kiss to the girl you love.
Always.
Do not let yourself fall into the traps of irrational concerns.
And yes, be mindful of insecurity.
Keep away from the whispers that cause you to doubt yourself.
Don’t be afraid to dance.
Don’t be afraid to sing.
Don’t be afraid to find a song that you love and when you find it, listen to the lyrics as many times as you can, and don’t stop until you know the words by heart. When you know them, don’t be afraid to keep this song in your heart.
Trust me . . .
This is lifesaving too.
I agree. Youth is wasted on the young.
I see this now, in hindsight, of course.
I grew up with different advantages. My generation had to work for their music. We had to go to record stores and search through the albums and find the artists that we loved the most.
I remember walking across my town. I walked during a light rainfall with my hood up, a teenager, young and rebellious, angry about some things, and hopeful for others.
I bought a cassette tape and placed it in my Walkman which, of course, is antiquated and obsolete.
But this was how we piped music to our ears when I was a kid.
To be honest:
All I really wanted was to be part of something. All I wanted was to be happy, to play a few games and have fun.
I’d be fine to take turns and share, and I’d be fine to hold hands when crossing the street.
I say this to you in a warm and grateful regard for one of my favorite writers, Robert Fulghum, who wrote about something similar, which was lifesaving to me.
Thank you Mr. Fulghum.
You don’t know me but I can assure you that your writing saved a life.
If I could do something over, or if I could redo my youth, I would say “look, it’s time to break away.”
You have to get away from the basic molds.
Don’t be afraid to be different. Be unique. Be brave enough to like what you like, want what you want, and when you meet someone who sparks your flame, remember them, adore them, and cherish them with all of your heart. Above all, remember them well enough so that the idea of having them in your life is inspiring enough to make you want to be a better person.
It’s okay to be afraid of heights.
It’s okay if you don’t like the roller coaster at the amusement park.
No, really. This is fine.
Please understand that not being involved with everything does not mean that you are left out of everything. You are not less-important.
You couldn’t be if you tried.
We do not have to be like anyone else. We are not cookie-cutter shaped people. Be who you are.
And no, I might not be for everyone.
Some people might call me an acquired taste, and some might say that I am not alike, or too strange, or too different for them, which is fine.
Some people might not like me at all.
That’s fine too.
The world is big enough that I can go my own way.
(And you can too.)
I am still that boy who enjoyed a game of kickball on the playground during recess.
I would love to go to Disney, right now, in fact.
I would love to see the wonder and the love, and the endearing process of children; but more, I would love the chance to recreate my life and recreate my youth.
I would love to do this.
If I could start, then I would start now.
I don’t have to be afraid to show my truth.
I don’t have to hide my ideas or pretend that I like what other people like.
I like me.
I like us.
This is all I know.
As for what I like, or as for my love — I can say that my love is beautiful.
My love is wild and ongoing. My heart speaks out loud and yes, I have been afraid to let this show.
But I am working on this.
A bit more, each day.
My love is complete with imperfections and, above all, my love has curves, which I have learned to memorize. I have done this so that I can trace the outline of her hips in my sleep. I’ve done this so that I can dream of her, and be with her, no matter what. No matter where I am, my love is always with me.
My love is eager to laugh, eager to be hopeful and eager to break free or, at minimum, my love is eager to sneak away, for example, and maybe find a day to play hooky and do something crazy.
I know they say sweets are bad.
I get it.
But . . .
Sometimes, you need to go to a candy store. You need to buy every flavor or every piece of candy you wished you could’ve had when you were a kid.
Mom or dad aren’t around to stop you anymore.
But they used to, right?
They wouldn’t let you have the candy you wanted because the sugar rots your teeth.
I get it
Youth is wasted on the young. This is true.
But I am not young anymore.
No. I’m older.
Either way, I swear that I am still a kid at heart.
If I could go back to advise my former self, I would say don’t stop being who you are. Never let someone’s ugliness have an impact on your beauty.
But first and foremost, never believe (for a second) that you are not beautiful.
You couldn’t be ugly if you tried.
So stop hiding your smile.
Don’t be afraid to laugh.
Whenever possible, find a honeysuckle bush and smell the sweetness from the flowers.
Go fishing. Go on a hike.
It’s okay to watch scary movies. And remember, stay away from the naysayers.
Stay clear of the critics and sing out loud, whenever the mood hits.
Don’t worry if your voice cracks, sing anyway.
As a matter of fact, sing as loud as you can!
Love with all you have.
Do it.
It’s okay when people don’t play fair and it’s okay to stay away from the people you don’t like.
You don’t have to like everyone.
Even if it seems like everyone else likes them, it’s okay if you don’t.
Understand?
Like who you like.
Trust me.
Be you.
Someone is going to see and trust me when I tell you; being who you are is going to be lifesaving for someone else.
Be inspired. Be motivated.
Be on the lookout for fireflies when they come around.
Go to the zoo.
Feed the squirrels in the park.
Walk on the beach.
Take a trip around the neighborhood.
Oh, and more importantly, eat good food and find the right person to share this with.
Trust me, aside from the intimacy of touch, sharing food with someone you love is special.
This is the most intimate way you can show (and share) your love.
If I could offer my younger self some advice, then this would be it.
All of the above.
Youth is wasted on the young.
Oh, wait—
I am younger now than I will be tomorrow.
So let me not waste this anymore.
Let me get started on my plans and do whatever it takes to make my life the way I want it to be.
I’ve never danced with someone in the middle of Lincoln Center in the summertime.
I hear people do this and, well, if you wouldn’t mind so much . . .
I was wondering –
Would you care to dance with me?
We can buy some candy afterwards.
We can do anything you want, as long as we get to be kids again.
“Olly, Olly, Oxen Free!”
That means if we were playing Kick the Can or Hide and Seek, or something like that, and let’s say you were caught somewhere—Olly, Olly Oxen Free means that it’s okay to come out.
We found a way to set us free.
Free.
You know what that word means, right?
Either way, I love you.
The Written Addiction 