What does it mean to, “have it?”
I ask you this question because I know we all have something.
Everyone has something.
Don’t we?
I understand that while this may be vague, I believe there is something relatable to what I am about to say to you.
Everybody wants something. The list may or may not change. Maybe we modify the list as we grow or maybe we change. If anything, our intentions change and so can our intensity to go, or be, or to do what it takes to make something happen.
What does it mean to have it?
I ask this question with the understanding that I use the word “it,” in a vague and interchangeable way.
Everyone has something.
We all have qualities and special traits that no one else could possibly have.
No one else has our voice or laugh. No one else has our fingerprints and DNA.
Therefore, no one else can be you.
No one else can be me either.
No one else can see what I see, at least not the same way and not through the same eyes.
No one could have gone through my life but me. Before I go further, I say this with an understanding that my struggles and challenges are all subjective to me.
Some people may think that I have never been hurt, at least not according to their perspective.
But I would beg to differ.
Some people might say that I have never been challenged, or that I am lucky to be where I am or to have what I have.
Some might say that my tiny place is bigger than a castle and some who live in a castle might think that what they have is small, or that as much as they have, nothing means anything to them, at least nothing means anything without the presence of self.
What does it mean to have it?
To be clear, I am not saying that I am better or stronger. I am not saying that I should be celebrated or honored and I am not saying that I have suffered or struggled more (or less) than anyone else.
No, this is not my point.
I am limited to my life. I will never know what it’s like to live in your body or feel from your perspective.
I might understand, to some degree. But I will never know exactly what you see, think, or feel.
I understand that I am limited to my thoughts, my beliefs, and perspective. Like I said I am limited to life as I know it.
However, I am open to learning.
I am open to understanding or at least to try.
I am open to growing. As a means to improve and to extend my understanding beyond a limited view, I am open to the fact that my life is my own.
Therefore, my opinions are my own. Furthermore, I have grown enough to realize that opinions are not fact. Simply put, just because I see things a certain way, it doesn’t mean that I’m right. Maybe this doesn’t mean anything at all.
I know that I want more. At the same time, do we really know what we want; and secondly, are we willing to do what it takes to make this so. If we are, are we willing to put in the work?
Are we willing to invest and put forth the effort it takes to maintain the dream after we make this come true?
What does it mean to have it?
Is this more than making our dreams come true?
Or to have it, how do we keep it?
Is that more important to ask?
I ask these questions with the understanding that success is a relative term and my definition of success might fall short of what this means to someone else. And to someone else, or, say, to someone who is limited or to someone who is subjected to a physical disability, or to someone who has no hope and no voice, or to someone who would never dare to speak up or speak out for themselves; I have to agree that it would be arrogant and unfair of me if I failed to mention that there is a list of people who would be grateful for half as much as what I have.
Even still, what does it mean to have it?
What does it mean to achieve or to succeed?
Or when we talk about overcoming the obstacles ahead of us, what does this look like?
What does this mean to overcome a shortcoming?
More importantly, how does it feel to surpass you limitations?
We all have something.
Don’t we?
No one else has what I have, and again, it would be arrogant and unfair of me to not acknowledge what I have. And yes, I have qualities and traits.
I am fortunate in many regards.
Case and point, whether I am good at this level of communication or whether my words are formed perfectly or in my defense against the critics and the grammar Nazis, I am blessed to be able to reach out to you like this.
I am fortunate.
I am blessed to be where I am, under a dry roof on a cold and rainy December morning. My place is humble and small, but at the same time, there are people who have no place at all.
I need to remember this.
Again, whether I am good or whether I stand a chance at becoming the writer that I have always wanted to be, my fingers work well enough to type this to you. My lights are on, my bills are mostly paid, I have an empty coffee cup beside me, and whether I am good enough to be loved, included, or good enough to be invited, or whether I am wholesome or deserving of what I have; either way, I have these things.
Therefore, it would be inaccurate of me to claim poverty or that I am “down-and-out,” and it would be a lie to claim that I am in the worst condition, when, in fact, I am blessed beyond my own understanding.
However, we tend to overlook these things.
In my case, I tend to take my blessings for granted.
I don’t know if I have “it.”
But I know that I have something.
I must have, right?
We all have something within us that gets us out of bed every morning.
No matter what comes or falls in our lap, we all have some kind of motivation to get up, regardless of what happens and who is with us or against us.
Whether the winds are calm or there’s a storm that’s headed our way.
We all show up, at least to some degree.
We all have our own crosses to bear. We all have struggles, and fears, and we all have our own insecurities and doubts. I agree that some people can hide their worries better than others.
However, I am not one of them.
Some people can rise above, no matter what comes their way, and some people dare, and they go out and they try.
If they lose or fail or if they fall on their face, so what?
At least they can have dignity in their heart because they stood up for themselves.
God bless them, the people like this.
I admire them.
I admire the person who faced the odds against them.
What’s more is not only did they face the challenge and fight for their dreams, pass or fail, there are people who can fight back like this, and although rare as a breed, there are people in this world who refuse to settle. There are people who refuse to accept defeat. Despite the ground they lose or without regard for the rejection they hear or if someone laughs or puts them down —nothing stops them.
Nothing at all.
What an amazing quality this is to have.
I want to be like this too.
I want to be this way.
At the same time, it would be unfair and inaccurate to say that I have not endured, because I have.
I have heard all kinds of rejection. I have been laughed at and ridiculed.
I have been put down.
I have been told that my work is terrible or horrible, or that I should stick with my day job and leave my dreams to be professional and exchange this for a hobby.
But how can something in your heart be a hobby?
There is something lonely about this world. I see this all too often. And yes, I agree.
We live in a “me first” world and people smile before they’ll stab you in the back, and they’ll apologize after to win your vote back, or in case the world becomes cold, people like this will keep you around, just to use you as firewood, so they can keep warm.
Yes, I think the world can be a lonely place, especially when it seems as if I am alone or that I have no one to call my own.
I get it. The world can be cold sometimes.
But I don’t want to keep hostages or keep someone around me, just to use them for a fake warmth, at least not when my desire is somewhere else.
No, if I am with you then I am with you because if I go with anyone else, then I would be settling (again) and as long as I live, I never want to settle for less then.
Never again.
There is a loneliness that only the underdog knows. This is what makes the underdog amazing to me. Perhaps I am amazed because of the undying effort or the doggedness, or “like a dog with a bone,” the underdog refuses to let go.
This is why I am a fan of the underdog.
There is no such thing as outside opinion. There is no worry about winning or losing, and there is no constant concern whether their moves are appealing or attractive.
Instead, the underdog takes to their prowl, good or bad, hurt or not.
There is no quitting or retreating.
There is only forward, as in onward, like a soldier from an undying army.
There are times when I have to dare myself to come out from behind the shadows of my fear.
For example:
I had a recent interview. I decided that I was going to own this. I decided that I was going to do more than “show up,” and rather than overthink or worry about the color of my tie or if my suit was good enough, and rather than worrying about my competition, or who else was up for the spot; and instead of allowing insecurity to take its place, I decided that I was going to play this one out.
I was going to play this to the best of my ability.
I decided that I was going to make this happen and make this work.
There was no other option.
I refused to overthink or worry about the panel of executives or worry if I would be able to volley with them or answer their questions. I decided to disregard the past, and to disregard the insecure assumptions.
Instead, I played this from a position of strength.
Not weakness.
I decided to be me. I focused on the questions. and followed up with questions that would open the interview in a more favorable light. And sure, this could have gone wrong.
This could have gone in any direction.
However, and before I entered the boardroom, I decided that I was going to be me, and no one else.
I was going to be honest, and true to myself.
Mission accomplished.
One of the members of the interviewing team walked me to the elevator. He thanked me for my time, and before we parted, he smiled and told me, “That was the most impressive interview that I have ever seen.”
I needed to hear that . . .
(By the way, I kept a piece of you in my pocket to keep my heart strong.)
I did what I set out to do.
I say this with all humility and humbly, I say this as a man who is equipped with all that I need to succeed.
I have everything I need to have for me to have “it.”
Also, I say this as someone who understands what it means to have someone behind you.
I say this as someone who says, “I know who you are, and I believe in you.”
This is more valuable than money in the bank.
I say this with complete and total understanding whether someone is behind you and cheering you on, or if you have to go at life alone; in either case, trust nothing more than the fact that you have exactly what you need.
You don’t need anything else.
You already have it.
So what does it mean to have it?
Look in the mirror.
There’s your answer.
You need to see this.
If anything, you need to see what you have inspired in me.
Whether you are afraid or if you worry that you cannot handle your life alone, trust me, you can do more than anyone else in your shoes.
I know why nobody wants you to leave them—
I know why they would selfishly want you around.
I’m one of them.
You make people feel good about themselves.
You give people hope.
You are the sun in the sky and that smile of yours is enough to brighten the world.
Trust me.
I understand why no one wants you to leave or go away.
There is something about you.
This is more than something as simple as a smile or a laugh or the feel of your hand.
You are an angel on this earth.
And me?
I am crazy. I am afraid.
I am angry at times.
I am blind sometimes, as well.
But, I’m working on this too because if I could be more like anyone –
I would love to be more like you.
I promise.
The Written Addiction 